Katherine Heigl recently starred in a Funny or Die video (which you can watch below – spoiler alert, it’s “die”) and contributed her time to a new charity campaign by the Jason Heigl Foundation* called “I Hate Balls.” Of course it’s about neutering your pets, what were you thinking?

The multi-media initiative kicks off with the launch of a new website IHateBalls.com, that features an original Public Service Announcement starring Katherine Heigl and produced by Funny or Die.
The video also sets the tone for the campaign – a funny take on a very serious issue – and features not only Katherine Heigl and some four-legged friends, but a cameo by her husband, musician Josh Kelley. At the witty IHateBalls.com web site which hosts the video, visitors are offered a number of opportunities to support the campaign, promote the message, raise awareness and get involved.
Heigl explained, “Launching this campaign is hopefully the type of out-of-the-box thinking we need to heighten awareness of the devastating problem and sound the alarm that we can save many lives by simply spaying/neutering pets. Hate balls, fix pets, save lives. It’s just that simple.” [jasonheiglfoundation]

Now, let me preface this by saying that promoting the spaying and neutering of pets is completely valid issue, and in the long run, by far the best way to keep innocent little puppies and sad Sarah McClachlan dogs from getting needlessly gassed. It’s a good thing. But when you already have a reputation as a humorless shrew, hey, maybe a hilarious campaign called “I Hate Balls” isn’t the best thing for you.

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Other than that awesome ass-to-ass scene, I always thought of Requiem for a Dream as sort of a gimmicky, extended, anti-drug PSA. Requiem director Darren Aronofsky went on to redeem himself tenfold with The Wrestler and Black Swan, but recently he directed some actual anti-drug PSAs for the Meth Project, which you can watch below. Sadly, there’s nary an ass-to-ass scene to be found. They’re big on disturbing imagery and sad kids looking directly into the camera, but I’ve watched them all three or four times each, and I’m still trying to figure out what the hell the voiceovers mean. See if you can help.

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Good news, everyone.  We have no idea how long it’s going to be before we get the next James Bond movie, but we do get to see James Bond dress like a woman and look sad in a new PSA for International Women’s Day.  No, really.  This was a great idea.

Daniel Craig walks in dressed like James Bond, while Dame Judy Dench’s M offers up “damning” statistics about the deplorable state of sexism, such as:

“It is 2011 and a man is still more likely to earn more money than a woman, even one doing the same job.  And men are far less likely to be judged for promiscuous behavior.  We’re afraid to walk the streets at night, but just as afraid to come home…”

And then about halfway through, James Bond comes in wearing a dress and looking sad, because as always, the best solution to the problems of discrimination is to feel really guilty about them.  Good one, James Bond.  You’ve opened my eyes at last.  Where do these statistics come from, anyway?  I’ve had quite a few jobs, most of them female dominated, and at none of them did I ever earn more than any of my female counterparts.  I certainly earned less a few times, which never stopped anyone from asking me to do anything that involved heavy lifting, or from staying late because my boss had to go pick up her dumb wiener kids from asthma camp or whatever.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, hey James, I liked you better when you were slapping a girl on the ass and telling her, “Run along, dear, men are talking,” you god d*mned traitor.  (*cracks beer, puts on “No, Ma’am” t-shirt*)

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I’ve long thought that people who make bad PSAs are as bad as child molesters, and these ultra-perverted anti-pedophilia ads (couple more after the jump) are as close as I’m going to get to proof.  When I’m king, those Truth kids and whoever decided to play that commercial with the dying guy with the nose tube and voice box every five minutes will have to register when they move into new neighborhoods.  On second thought, let’s just send them to camps. [via hookedonads]

DCJ Links:

• A rundown of Jewish aliens in pop culture.  Jewish aliens are the best to have, because they don’t make the property values go down. |heebMag|
• Confessions of a Ross employee. |HolyTaco|
• Fruit bats love oral sex, apparently. |Asylum|
• The five saddest Pick-Up Artist acronyms. |Guyism|
• Leaked Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 footage features playable terrorists. |G4|
• Richard Kelly talks about his box.  The Box.  It’s full of secrets. |ScreenJunkies|
• Bruce Lee plays ping pong with nunchuks, lights matches with nunchuks in this video.  It’s not real, but it shows Nokia is a lot better at ads featuring dead celebrities than DirecTV. |WithLeather|
• This chick will teach you how to make the wookie noise, and sadly, that’s not a euphemism. |ToplessRobot|
• Live hard, drink hard, crash hard. |Atom|
• Woman calls 911 on herself for drunk driving.  Key quote: “You am them?” |FListed|

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Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• Scaryass picture:  Steven Tyler of Aerosmith is now an elderly woman who shops at Macy’s, drives a PT Cruiser, and owns a silky terrier named Olivia. |Boston|
• Hardc0re British PSA about texting while driving (Rated R). |Screenjunkies|
• Sick of boring tweets? Say his name three times. |CollegeHumor|
• MLB power rankings |OpenSports|
• The 5 Creepiest Sex Scenes in Comics |Comicsalliance|
• 19 minutes of “Itchy & Scratchy” videos. |WarmingGlow|
• Puppy and puppet rodeo.  Git along little doggies. |Atom|
• Slideshow: Hollywood’s Creepiest Families (and, yes, Shia LaBeouf made the list) |Getback|

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