Fun “Cool Story, Bro” anecdote: I finally went to Las Vegas for the first time in my life, just a few months ago. It was horrible. I will probably never go back. If I want to get hammered and piss away my money at a casino, I’ll do it in New Orleans. But I say this not to poop on the city. No, I bring this up because Hollywood is full of lies, and every TV show and movie that is based around the idea that Vegas is a fun place is just wrong. It’s full of nasty, miserable people, who would shoot their own parents for one more chip. But at least my toilet at the Aria had a heated seat. Silver linings and whatnot.

So that brings us to the new promo still above, for the film Last Vegas, or as IMDB describes it:

Four best friends in their late-60′s decide to escape retirement and throw a Las Vegas bachelor party for the only one of them who has remained single.

First thing’s first: Nobody retires anymore. And if someone does retire, he probably did something that deserves our scorn. Sorry for being a pessimist, but it’s true. If I ever retire, it’s going to be because I sold organs on the black market. Actually, my dad is retired, but I’m convinced he’s CIA, so that’s a completely different story.

Now on to my main point: Do you know what would happen to four 60-something dudes who try to have a good time in Vegas? They’d probably be robbed and killed by a hooker and her pimp. But seriously, have you ever actually looked at a 60-something dude who is in Vegas? Anyone north of 50 in Vegas that is hanging out in a casino is trying desperately to escape a terrible life.

All that said, if you’re looking for a film about Viagra jokes that completely lies to you about Las Vegas and will probably have a tagline like “What happens in Vegas, greys in Vegas” then Last Vegas is the film for you.

Hot off last week’s announcement that the first teaser trailer for Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained would play with Prometheus when it opens June 8th, comes this new batch of promo stills from the movie (via Facebook, Bohemea). In the one above, it seems Jamie Foxx (Django) skinned a Shar Pei and made the crotch of his pants out of it. (His crotch is all wrinkly, is what I’m saying).

The basic plot is that Jamie Foxx plays Django, a slave freed by bounty hunter Christoph Waltz, who teaches Django the tricks of the trade and helps him find his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), who ends up in a crazy place called Candyland, where a sadistic slavemaster named Calvin Candy (Leonardo DiCaprio) makes his slaves do gladiatorial-style battle.

Also of note in the pictures is Franco Nero, who played the original Django in Keoma (aka Django Rides Again) and Django Strikes Again.  It’s hard to tell exactly who he’s playing, but I’m sure his cameo will be a thrilling moment for Quentin Tarantino and at least 12 other dudes. Make sure you memorize his face and clap extra loud when he comes on screen during the screening so that the other film nerds recognize you as one of their own and invite you to their secret trenchcoat parties.

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Kicking off a super-sized edition of this week’s This Week in Posters is the newest batch of Dark Knight Rises posters. Yes, more Dark Knight Rises posters. It seems like there are six of them every day. At this point, I think you could make a flip-book out of these longer than the actual movie.
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