This story isn’t movie related, but someone should find a way to option it immediately.  It’s not a dog bites man story, or even a man bites dog story, but the even more rare, cock fights man.  In fact, in this case you might even say that the cock fought the man, and the cock won.

Man killed by armed bird at California cockfight, was stabbed by rooster with attached knife

DELANO, California (AP) — A man who was at an illegal cockfight in central California died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb, officials confirmed Monday.

Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, was declared dead at a hospital about two hours after he was injured in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30, the Kern County coroner said.

An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental “sharp force injury” to his right calf.

Ochoa and the other spectators fled when authorities arrived at the scene of the fight, King told the newspaper. Deputies found five dead roosters and other evidence of cockfighting at the location, he said. [LA Times - thanks to Charlie Bronze for the tip]

His name was Jose Luis Ochoa.  His name was Jose Luis Ochoa.  Yeah, I bet they considered shutting down Project Mayhem after that one.  Can you imagine if you got super high and went to a cockfight, and then had to try to wrap your mind around the idea that your friend just got stabbed to death by a game bird? I imagine sitting there for hours, just hugging yourself, rocking back and forth, muttering, “That’s gotta be a metaphor for something.  That’s gotta be a metaphor for something…”

I really wish this could be a local news story narrated by the guy who ate his own beard. “An’ ‘fore I knowed it, there was knives,’n cocks, ‘n everythang just went haywire.”

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A couple months ago, a bomb blew out the window of a Starbucks on the Upper East Side in Manhattan.  No one was injured, and it probably would’ve been pretty badass to watch.  Now they’re saying the culprit was some kind of Fight Club copycat.  A 10-years-too late copycat, apparently.

The explosion appears to have been modeled on a scene [a scene? did they blow up a Starbucks in Fight Club? I don't remember that part] from the 1999 film “Fight Club,” the New York Police Department said. The predawn Memorial Day blast, from an explosive device, damaged a sidewalk bench and shattered windows at the shop, but no one was injured.

The teenager, Kyle Shaw, 17, of 250 West 27th Street in the Chelsea section of Manhattan, charged with arson, criminal possession of a weapon and criminal mischief, Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly said.

Wait, you can print a 17-year-old’s name and address in the newspaper now?

Mr. Shaw was arrested near his home, and the authorities found on him a DVD of “Fight Club” and a box of sparklers as well as a newspaper clipping reporting on the Starbucks bombing. Mr. Shaw had bragged to friends that he was responsible for the bombing, police said, and had started an underground fight club modeled on the one in the 1999 film.  “His statements indicated he was launching his own Project Mayhem,” police said. [NY Times]

Yeah?  What tipped you off, the sparklers?  See, this is why I’m glad I didn’t grow up in New York.  I’m not saying planting bombs at Starbucks is okay, but what’s a kid supposed to do when he doesn’t have a bonfire to throw trashbags full of gasoline and aerosol cans into?  Seriously, tell me, I’m from the country, I don’t know these things.  (It also helps to keep a couple shotguns handy in case the aerosol cans don’t blow up right away.  So I hear).