At a recent event, LG’s president of mobile products Juno Cho was showing off his company’s big money sponsorship deal with Transformers when he invited Michael Bay onstage in front of LG employees.  At which point…

Michael was warmly applauded.  Casually dressed, he seemed at ease as he took the mic, said hello, then said, “I have some big news: I’ve just been named the next CEO of LGE…”  The crowd laughed.
Michael smiled again saying “No.  Seriously – I don’t know anything about mobile phones.  In fact, look at my phone (which he held up) – it’s a Thirty-Nine dollar Samsung”
You could feel Mr Cho’s anger from across the room.  LG people ran to get phones, Mr. Cho went up to Michael (who seemed oblivious to the enormous slap he’d just delivered to every LG employee’s face) and said, “Here, now you have an LG phone” and gave him his own personal device.  He took the mic back and quickly wrapped up the disastrous press conference. But not before Michael could dish out a little more pain…”but all my contacts are in the other one” he said in a petulant voice.
Making matters even worse, I later heard that they’d even scripted all Michael’s remarks but for whatever reason, maybe because he’s retarded or perhaps he’s just a total jerk, he elected to trash LG instead [Ed. Note: We get it, buddy, he used the wrong phone, put your tampon back in.]

Dude, what did you expect when you brought out Michael Bay?  You can just tell the guy grips it and rips it; he lives life with a lot of flair.  Does he know what he’s doing today?  No.  Does he know what product he’s selling today?  No.  But he’s here, and he’going to give it is his best shot.  As a kid, Michael Bay was always more interested in what BARK was made out of on a TREE…

Quantum of Solace has set a new record for product placement, earning $79 million to shill a variety of different products.  Die Another Day was the previous title holder with $69 million.

Daniel Craig will drive a customised Aston Martin, wear his Omega watch and possibly sip from a bottle of Coca-Cola Zero, the soft drinks giant’s latest beverage. His laptop and mobile phone will be Sony while his latest love interest will drive him around Panama in a Ford Ka.

There is even a Bond Girl perfume, being launched by Avon, the mail order beauty firm. It is being fronted by Gemma Arterton, who plays Agent Fields. As Ms Barrett [editor of Marketing magazine] recently wrote: “It’s not the smoothest or cleverest of tie-ups, but we should expect more women-targeted brands to get on board.” [The Scotsman via Filmonic]

Watches and sports cars I understand, but Avon perfume?  Pretty pathetic.  Plus, what does a “Bond Girl” smell like?  Judging by the poster, I’d have to guess dried semen and gas fires.  Too bad I already tried to market that. “First Date,” I called it.

According to WENN, Robert Downey Jr. publicly thanked Burger King for helping him overcome his drug problem.  In related news, I can’t believe this is a real story.

  In 2003, the actor – who, at the time, was battling an addiction to drugs and alcohol – was driving a car filled with "tons of f**king dope" on California’s Pacific Coast Highway when he decided to stop at the burger joint for a meal.
  And the trip to the fastfood outlet caused him to re-evaluate his whole life.
  He says, "I have to thank Burger King. It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen." [You got shitcanned and passed out in a random little girl's bed, and it was a f-ing burger that caused you to rethink things? -Ed.]
  The actor goes on to hint that a fateful moment in new movie Iron Man, when his character Tony Stark requests a cheeseburger from Burger King after being released from his captors, is a reference to his own experiences. [Source]

Burger King responded by saying, “We didn’t pay you 8 million dollars to call our burgers disgusting, you prick.  What are you, on drugs?”  Seriously, I hope this isn’t the start of a trend where people start explaining product placement.  We get it, they paid you, it’s okay.  Just because I see a movie about a guy with a robot butler who shoots rockets out of his arms doesn’t mean you can start treating me like a little kid. 

Someone down at the AFI Film Festival in Dallas decided it’d be a good idea to ask David Lynch his thoughts on product placement.  I won’t ruin it for you, but let’s just say he doesn’t mince words.

See also his thoughts on iPhones, after the jump.  God I love this man.  I’d like to think that if the guy asked him about Brett Ratner movies, he’d stab him in the neck with a homemade shiv, and as the guy lay gurgling, he’d calmly wipe the blood off the shiv with a hankerchief and say, "You had to push me, didn’t you motherf*cker."    

You can watch the first three minutes of I Am Legend at Yahoo Movies.  Opens today.

I was pleasantly surprised by the first few I Am Legend trailers, considering the dyslexic title and the fact that Will Smith’s in it (not to say he’s a bad actor, but what’s the last decent movie he was it, Men in Black?  That came out in ’97).   

But now that “Nuthin happenaway it was suppoza happen…” has become this year’s “Moy naime is Chev Cheliose, and todaiy’s da day Oy doy…”, my enthusiasm has dampened slightly.

After watching the first three minutes, I’m still on the fence about the movie.  But I do have the sudden urge to buy a Ford.   

PS: Is it really that hard to kill a deer with freakin M16?  Just start shooting, man.  PPS: Gosh, the bouncy camera work sure looks “authentic”.  Next time you shut down half the streets in New York to film a movie, invest in a goddamned steadicam, A-hole.