Pretty boring box office this weekend.  The two new big releases were Princess and the Frog and Invictus.  Princess pulled in $25 million for first place, while Clint Eastwood’s Invictus landed in third with a disappointing $9 million.  It’s just that Americans don’t understand foreign countries or foreign sports.  What’s rugby?  How do the children learn to play if Sandra Bullock doesn’t teach them?  It was all a bit confusing for old Clint, who simply blamed the gooks.

Meanwhile, The Blind Side is officially a phenomenon, landing at number two with $15.4 million and passing $150 million overall.  Four weeks in and it’s still playing, while New Moon, which opened the same weekend, has fallen to fourth. It’s even close to passing 2012 in cumulative gross.  Clearly this is a sign that President Obummer should reduce the tax burden on rich white families so that they can afford to adopt more black kids to play football for their alma mater.  What’s the problem?  Everyone wins.

Elsewhere, Old Dogs has made almost $40 million so far and holy crap who is seeing this movie. If it was any more blatantly designed for stupid people, Tom Bergeron would be narrating.  Full top ten below.

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(“IN AFRIKKA, IT’S ‘BLING BANG!’”)

Opening this weekend:

The Princess and the Frog
Disney tries to promote diversity with a 2D-animated story of a frog prince and a black girl from New Orleans, black people only reminded of that shuckin’ and jivin’ WB frog.

Invictus
Clint Eastwood directs Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela and Matt Damon as the captain of the South African rugby team in the story of how he killed 100 gooks with his bare hands.  I’m telling you, there were dead gooks stacked as high as a gook.

Limited release:

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Disney’s old-school 2D animated film The Princess and the Frog recently released a trailer and a poster.  It’s a new twist on an old tale – this time, the heroine is a black girl from Jazz-Age New Orleans named “Princess Tiana.”  She used to be named “Maddy,” but people thought that was too low-class, too slave-sounding, and too close to “Mammy,” so they changed it to Tiana, and now she sounds like an Asian pornstar.

In this version, when Tiana kisses the frog, instead of him turning into a prince, she turns into a frog.  Which I suppose is more true to life.  Relationships do tend towards the lowest common denominator.  In fact, this is a lot like the version I wrote.  “Hey, Princess, I’m gonna put my evil in you,” croaked the frog. “Psst. I hear you’re into Wart Showers.”

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