Warner Bros. is closer than ever to making me cry like that time I stepped on and broke my Rygar Nintendo cartridge, as it is rumored that former The Walking Dead showrunner Glen Mazzara is in talks to write a prequel to Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 amazing, classic, wonderful, timelessly terrifying movie adaptation of Stephen King’s novel, The Shining.

Why would Warner want to do such a thing? Because this is America, and in America we take things that are awesome and we destroy them out of greed, because we simply can. Unfortunately for Warner, there’s still a little matter of whether or not the studio owns the rights to the source material, a part of the novel that focused on the history of the Overlook Hotel that was cut. Warner says they own the rights, while King says they don’t.

WHO YA GOT???

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Bryan Singer made two X-Men movies, then Brett Ratner made a third, but it sucked, so Matthew Vaughn made a prequel to the first two with a new cast, and it was pretty good again. Now Bryan Singer is back making the sequel to that prequel, which will star prequel stars James McAvoy, Michael F. Assbender, and Jennifer Lawrence, along with original stars Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen (confirmed a few days ago). Now, the Hollywood Reporter says Hugh Jackman is in talks to come back to play Wolverine in X-Men: Let’s Just Forget That Whole Brett Ratner Thing.

Sources confirm that Hugh Jackman is in negotiations to reprise his Wolverine role in the movie, which is ostensibly a sequel to X-Men: First Class but will prominently feature actors from the first X-Men trilogy (the first two of which Singer directed).

Days of Future Past is a classic storyline that unfolded in two issues of Marvel Comics’ Uncanny X-Men in 1981, from writer Chris Claremont and artists John Byrne and Terry Austin. The story was partially set in an alternate future where surviving mutants have been penned in concentration camps, giant robots called Sentinels patrol America, and most of the X-Men have been hunted and killed. In the present day, the X-Men were forced to stop a key event from unfolding in order to keep that future from occurring. [THR]

I don’t know how the time travel storyline from Days of Future Past plays out in the comics (though I’m sure you nerds will tell me, won’t you – HELP, MY NECKBEARD IS BECOMING THICK AND DANDRUFFY!), but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I could watch an entire movie of Magneto flying around the Earth killing geriatric Nazis.

“X-MEN! You must prevent a key event and save the future from becoming a dystopian hellhole! (*whispering*) Psst. And here’s an extra thou if you can go back in time and keep Adam Levine’s parents from meeting.”

What’s cooler than getting a Rufio tattoo to cover up your Edward Cullen tattoo? The possibility of a Hook sequel centered on Rufio, easily the coolest Filipino character in early 90s pirate films not counting Cutthroat Island. This according to Dante “Rufio” Basco himself, who was interviewed by CraveOnline recently at the Asian Pacific Film Festival, where he starred in two films.

“Actually there’s a film in development, the Rufio film, where a hotshot group of kids from the East Coast graduated and they wrote this whole script, the prequel to Hook and it’s the Rufio story. We have it right now with a director, Rpin Suwannath who’s doing the new Zorro for Fox. He has the script and he’s attached to the film and I’m attached to produce so that’s actually in development right now which’ll be cool, a Rufio for a whole new generation.”

Will the new Rufio still have the Mohawk?

“Yes, the storyline is crazy actually. These guys have a whole storyline of how he gets the Mohawk. The whole story’s crazy. These guys came with the script, I’m like, “You guys wrote this?” Not only did they write this, they did the musical in their college. They were going to go off Broadway with it and then they lost their insurance and they came to Hollywood. If anyone saw their play it’s that, but the newer version is pretty intense. They added more action. I never saw the play but I think they added more backstory to Rufio, like how he became Rufio which I was impressed by. It’s in development .”

“We’re pitching it around right now. We haven’t found a home for it yet. The director we have attached right is, like I said, in the middle of doing Zorro for Fox. Hopefully if Zorro goes well Fox will have more incentive for this movie but it’s a big movie. It’s not like an independent budget.” [CraveOnline]

Basco clarifies that he won’t be in it himself – after all, this is meant to be a prequel, and he’s practically a paunchy, sag-bottom puke pot these days. I’m guess they’ll need someone younger, which is a shame, because I hate little kids. I vote Peter Dinklage.

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Last July, David Wain started hinting while promoting other films that he and his fellow former State members were floating the idea of a reunion for a Wet Hot American Summer sequel. Our response looked something like this:

But then some time passed and we didn’t hear much more about it other than a few whispers that it could be a prequel with the older actors playing younger versions to hilarious results. Our response still looked something like this:

Then a few more months passed and we didn’t hear a thing about whether or not this prequel or sequel was progressing and our response looked something like this…

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"I turned the horizon diagonal with PSYCHIC MIND BULLETS. WINNING."

A couple new character posters for X-Men: First Class featuring Professor X (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) have showed up on Filmonic. I hope these turn out to be unofficial, because they’re every bit as boring as the trailer.  OH MY GOD, THE CHARACTERS HAVE FIRST NAMES, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

Michael F. Assbender is… The Last Assbender.