I bet that jacket is super noisy.

Well friends, it’s an absolutely crazy time for new DVDs.  With both Christmas and New Year’s Day falling on Tuesdays, the whole Tuesday release schedule has been messed up. We’ve got a ton of movies coming out today, but there’s also a handful coming out this Friday, but don’t worry because I’m covering all of them.  Besides Total Recall and the latest Clint Eastwood flick (as an actor if not director), we’ve got flicks with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Richard Gere.  We’ve got Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey’s ass.  There’s the latest Resident Evil flick, that movie about college singing groups, and so much more.  There’s sleepwalkers and motocross bikers and paralyzed guitarists.  We’ve even got  evil robots and the latest flick from Spike Lee!

The DVDs:
Total Recall
Trouble With The Curve
Premium Rush -available Friday, 12/21
Arbitrage -available Friday, 12/21
Killer Joe -available Friday, 12/21
10 Years
Resident Evil: Retribution -available Friday, 12/21
Pitch Perfect
Liberal Arts
The Good Doctor
Sleepwalk With Me
Red Hook Summer -available Friday, 12/21
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
Bro’
Jason Becker: Not Dead Yet
Forced To Fight
Fred & Vinnie
The Frozen
The New Republic
Android Insurrection

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Holy cow, that’s a lot of movies hitting DVD this week. But wait, there’s more! Three flicks have decided to buck the trend of coming out when people are actually shopping, so here’s a quick breakdown of the three movies coming out in the next two weeks as well:  The people behind the abysmally reviewed Bradley Cooper flick, The Words, have tried to bury it by releasing it on Monday, December 24.  They are right to do it, and we should honor their desire to have their movie forgotten.  Instead of seeing that,  hold out for another week until Monday, December 31st.  New Year’s Eve sees the release of Looper. I thought it was great, and Vince’s review gave it an ‘A-’.  If that isn’t your cup of tea, Cosmopolis comes out on New Year’s Day. Vince’s review gave it a ‘C’, but it’s from David Cronenberg, who is awesome, so who gives a f*ck what Vince says?  He hates everything, Looper excluded. If your New Year’s resolution is to watch less DVDs, click on that streaming link above to go straight to your Netflix resolution loophole, but to be honest, you’ve chosen a very strange resolution, and you could still read about the DVDs, even if you never plan on watching them.  Hell, I don’t plan on watching most of them either. Read the rest of this entry »

In a surprise to virtually no one, Premium Rush bombed like my toilet after bad Indian food this weekend. Just how bad was it? The $6.3 million it made over the weekend was less than $100,000 more than the anti-Obama documentary 2016: Obama’s America, and you know that was a barrel of laughs. I’d as soon pay to see that as hang out with someone who did. Turns out, no one really likes bike messengers. You know what they say, those who forget the first season of The Real World are destined to repeat it. But if there was one person happy about this misfortune, it was America’s sweetheart, Nikki Finke. Which is strange, because she seems like such a pleasant lady.

Among this weekend’s crop of newly released films, Sony Pictures’ Premium Rush opened poorly with very soft grosses of $6.5M. Producer Gavin Polone just saw his Pariah Television freshman ABC Family series Jane By Design canceled and now this Pariah production tanks as well. (Guess it sucks to be Polone these days. Maybe he should make his day job writing that lame blog.) [Deadline]

(*pulls out novelty pistol*)(*pulls trigger*)(*white flag pops out*) (*black text on flag reads “ZING!”*)

Finke speaks, of course, of her old nemesis Gavin Polone, whose production company produced Premium Rush, and who also proposed a Nikki Finke blackout in his column in NY Mag’s Vulture a few weeks back:

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"Stand back, miss, he's overdosed on exposure."

Opening Everywhere: Premium Rush, The Apparition

Opening Somewhere: Sleepwalk With Me, Thunderstruck

Opened Wednesday: Hit & Run

FilmDrunk Suggests: I strongly recommend The Expendables 2 if you haven’t seen it yet. In fact, here is the review that I submitted to Fandango after seeing it last weekend:

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“Hey, kid, you like movie trailers? Good, ’cause, uh… I got a bunch of them.” -A drug dealer who’s bad at wordplay.

So a bunch of trailers hit recently, and if I gave them all their own post, they’d bury all my other content (NO ONE WANTS THIS!). So here they are in one place. We cover Premium Rush, the Joseph Gordon-Levitt bike messenger movie, The Thing remake, The Big Year with Steve Martin and Jack Black, and a kick-ass looking action movie called The Raid.

“I like to ride. Fixed gear. No brakes. Can’t stop. Don’t want to, either.”

Jeez, what are they trying to do, explain why everyone hates fixed-gear riders? “Yeah, so I just took all the necessary safety equipment off my ride so I can look cool when I crash into stuff and blame it on everyone else. My plan is to deflect cars with the force of my coolness. Neat, huh?”

Anyway, it looks like it’s trying to do for urban bicycling what The Fast and the Furious did for street racing. “I LIVE MY LIFE A QUARTER CAN OF PABST AT A TIME!” And by that I mean of course, OOOH WHA-AH AH AH BIKE PARKOUR!

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"CUT!"

Shocking new evidence seems to suggest that New Yorkers can be not only rude, but also impatient.  Oh I know, I was as surprised as you are.

When a New York man was told he’d have to walk around the set of Premium Rush, starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, which was shooting on the Upper West Side over the weekend, he got so angry that he headbutted a production assistant, a move known in the business as the “Busey Hey Buddy.”

“I live here! I pay taxes!” fumed the 6-foot-4, 285-pound Breffny Flynn, 43, who lost his cool at on Broadway at West 102nd Street, on an errand to buy paint for his kid’s bedroom. [10 bucks says he was buying lube for his fleshlight, but as soon as he got caught headbutting a dude, he was all "Eh oh, wassa matta wid dis prick, I'm tryna buy paint fa my kid's bedroom ova heah. -Ed.]
Flynn went ballistic when production assistant Steve Lafferty told him he had to wait a few minutes to cross the street.
“Don’t tell me what to do, motherf- -ker!” he yelled, according to witnesses. “I gotta get to the store! I gotta get to the store!”
Flynn clenched his fists and puffed out his chest before landing the powerful head butt on Lafferty’s face, witnesses said.
Lafferty was taken to St. Luke’s Hospital. Flynn was arrested for assault and released with a desk-appearance ticket.
Most people only dream of head-butting their way through the ubiquitous film sets that have become as loathsome as tube-sock street fairs. [NYPost]

Leave it to the New York Post to turn a 300-pound dude headbutting a kid into a wish-fulfillment story.  “Don’t you wish you could physically assault people half your size for trying to do their thankless job?  He’s a hero!”

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