(Your worst nightmare, butthorn)
Adrien Brody has agreed to take time out of his busy schedule of making out with black chicks to play the hero in Robert Rodriguez’ Predators movie. He’ll play a “heroic mercenary who battles alien hunters,” according to Variety. A heroic, cerebral, glib, Jewish, mercenary, presumably.
Brody will star with Alice Braga, Danny Trejo [!], Walt Goggins, [old-school MMA-guy] Oleg Taktarov, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali, and Louiz Ozawa.
Hollywood Reporter adds:
Written by Rodriguez, Alex Litvak and Michael Finch, the script follows a group of elite warrior-types who are being hunted by members of a race of merciless alien trackers called Predators.
Brody is a man who ends up inheriting the mantle of leader and is known as a hunter of men. Topher Grace would play an accountant-type whose unassuming facade masks a dangerous serial killer.
Braga is the tough female killer. Ali is a man not afraid to die, Goggins is the loose canon [sic] of the group and Taktarov is a former Russian special ops agent.
Trejo, already cast, is Cuchillo, a hardened warrior with twin uzis strapped to his back.
As if we hadn’t already beaten the dead Predator horse and taken a dump inside its skull and used its spine as dildo for homeless people*, Robert Rodriguez is producing ‘Predators’. The latest word is that they’ve hired Nimrod Antal, director of the Hungarian subway movie Kontroll (which was kind of neat), to direct. Rodriguez said of the plot:
I can’t go too much into the story right now, because we’re still writing. But it still involves a very intense group of people stranded on a Predator planet discovering unspeakable horrors (that are not always from outside their group). So like the original movie, the title does have a double meaning. [via a million-word article on AICN]
Kontroll was interesting, but the list of foreign directors who made cool flicks elsewhere only to come to Hollywood and take paychecks to do garbage is long and consonant filled. In fact, the last guy attached to this project was Neil Marshall, who followed the badass Descent with post-apocalyptic car porn Doomsday. Anyway, I think this will be great if by “intense people” they mean Christian Bale and the silent Indian guy from the first Predator and they just growl at each other like dogs for two hours.
*though to be fair, I have heard people say AVP: R is actually pretty kickass.
We’ve known for a while that Robert Rodriguez is producing a Predator remake/sequel called Predators for (who else?) Fox (the pitch: “Like Predator, but… more.”). Now the word (from Bloody-Disgusting) is that Neil Marshall is close to being signed as director.
Marshall began his career with Dog Soldiers and The Descent, the rare, actually entertaining-and-well-done horror movie, then went on to direct Doomsday, which looked like Mad Max as sponsored by Bentley and crystal meth. And now it looks like he’s doing a fifth Predator movie. Are you ready or not? Tick. Tick. Tick… (*fart*)
While the proposed Predator reboot is already losing steam with Robert Rodriguez only producing and not directing as originally reported, Fox co-chair Tom Rothman claimed in a recent interview with IESB that Ridley Scott was “toying with the idea” of doing another Aliens movie.
Excited? Don’t be. This is still Fox we’re talking about. You may remember their last alien movie? The one with Eddie Murphy living inside an Eddie Murphy-shaped spaceship? The one that got outgrossed by Soul Plane? And as for Ridley Scott? Yeah, he’ll be good to go once he finishes his movie based on MOTHER EFFING MONOPOLY. Ahh, what a crappy time to be alive.
Robert Rodriguez has been reportedly attached to so many damned projects since Grindhouse - Sin City 2, Red Sonja, Barbarella, The Jetsons, Nerveracker, and others - that I’m not sure I believe him anymore. As originally reported by BloodyDisgusting in January and now “confirmed” by IESB, Rodriguez will produce and direct Predators for Fox.
In a news conference today at Troublemaker Studios, several Texas state politicians were in attendance to sign HB 873, the long-awaited reform of the Texas film incentive program. Rodriguez talked to the audience of press members and revealed his upcoming film slate. “I’m going to be able to shoot my upcoming Machete here, a sci-fi action film called Nervewrackers, a re-boot of the Predator series called Predators, and a couple of smaller movies called Sin City 2 and The Jetsons.”
Meanwhile, Variety reports Rodriguez is “eyeing” a June start date for Machete.
Machete [Danny Trejo, puto] is a Mexican ex-Federale with a gift for wielding a blade, who hides out as a day laborer, who is double-crossed by a corrupt state senator. Not immediately clear is whether Rodriguez and Overnight will find a way to use the irresistible marketing slogan that appeared in the “Grindhouse” trailer: “This time, they f*cked with the wrong Mexican.”
“Ju tole me feefty dolars for mow jour lawn, saynator, but ju no pay. Now I get my cousins for kick jour ass!” I think a cooler title for Machete would be Mexican Judo. I also don’t count my Rodriguez projects before they’re on screen. Something tells me he uses movie ideas more as a way to bone chicks like Rose McGowan than as an actual career guide.
