I’m not exactly up to date on my Japanese instant classics, so forgive me if you’ve seen this one before. But today we bring you an exciting clip from the 2010 comedy/horror Kyonyû doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippâ 5, or as I like to pronounce it without getting a headache, The Big Tits Dragon: Hot Spring Zombies Vs. Strippers. Once again, don’t you ever change, Japan.

According to the film’s lone review on IMDb, Dragon is the harrowing tale of five strippers who don’t have very many clients, so they make up for it by posing seductively and play fighting with each other to fill the space where plot would traditionally go. And as you’re about to watch in the clip after the jump, at some point one of the strippers becomes a zombie and attacks two of her peers. However, she doesn’t try to eat them as we’ve come to expect from traditional zombie films. That is, unless by “eat them” you mean she fires a flamethrower out of her cooch.

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In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, Megan Fox says, “I’m really tired of being exploited and having everything I say sensationalized.  It’s an unbearable lifestyle.”  On that note, I think it would be really fun to exploit her by sensationalizing something she said.  To wit:

“Men are scared of powerful, confident vaginas.  But I wasn’t born with a special vagina.”

I don’t know, Megan Fox, I think I’d be much less fearful of a vagina strutting around town in a top hat and a silk suit than I would be of a vagina that drooled and had to take special classes.  Which is to say, I’m relieved, because it sounds like your vagina and I would be compatible.  Also, and I realize this is neither here nor there, but when I typed “vaginas” up there, my spell checker drew one of those red lines under it for being incorrect.  I right clicked to see what suggestions it had for me, and one of the first was “vagina’s.”  As if the designer of my computer couldn’t even imagine the prospect of two vaginas together, but frequently found occasion to say things like “Help, my vagina’s car broke down,” or “Dang, my vagina’s kids done shot up the school again.”    In conclusion, vagina.