Well well well, it turns out North Carolina republican congressional candidate BJ Lawson isn’t the only one guilty of using a fake Morgan Freeman — a Morgan Fauxman, if you will — to endorse his run for office.  Wisconsin republican gubernatorial candidate Scott Walker has been running the ad above with a voice-over from someone who sounds suspicously Morgan Freeman-y.

Curiously, what with such a big name, Walker’s team has not put the ad online, seemingly content to have it run during Green Bay Packer games and the nightly local news. We’re not political strategists, but it would seem that a relatively-unknown Milwaukee county executive candidate like Walker would want to play up this endorsement as much as possible.  Walker’s campaign failed to return numerous calls for comment. Maybe they’ll return the ones from Morgan Freeman’s agent. [TheAwl]

To be fair, using a guy who sounds like Morgan Freeman without claiming that it actually is Morgan Freeman is a lot less shady than the other guy.  Still, I don’t quite understand the strategy.  In Wisconsin, the sound of a black person’s voice is as unfamiliar as a gym membership.  Anyway, I’ve attached a clip of Morgan Freeman reading from “The Poop That Took a Pee” after the jump for comparison.
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If Morgan Freeman ever decided to become a politician, his opponent would be in trouble.  He’s spent his entire career playing God, the president, and other authority figures, and as evidenced by the careers of Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, we Americans are too dumb to know the difference.  No doubt realizing this, North Carolina republican congressional candidate BJ Lawson had some campaign commercials made using a voiceover that sounded a lot like Freeman.  Lawson had been going around telling people the voice was Freeman’s. Freeman found out about it and publicly denied it, and now Lawson says he was duped by the production company, because that would somehow be better.

“Our campaign was duped,” Lawson said.
Lawson says he signed a contract earlier with MEI Political –a production company that promised to deliver a Morgan Freeman radio commercial.
The ad doesn’t say the narrator is Morgan Freeman, but Lawson says he did.
“When people heard the ad, the question that everyone was asking is that Morgan Freeman and my answer, believing what I was told to be Morgan Freeman was yes, that is Morgan Freeman,” he said.

On Monday morning, when Freeman heard the news, he released a statement.

“These people are lying. I have never recorded any campaign ads for B.J. Lawson and I do not support his candidacy,” said Freeman through his publicist Stan Rosenfield.

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With so many worthy causes in the world, the question of how to raise awareness for your particular mission is one every non-profit must face.  If you’re the UN, you just connect any celebrity you can think of with any charity in the most random way possible, like the Family Guy manatees.  That’s how I assume Nic Cage came to be the U.N.’s goodwill ambassador for global justice.  He recently gave a speech on the topic of international organized crime in Vienna, and you should definitely watch his speech here.  Here’s some of what he had to say:

I think at some point, I decided to stop being an actor and start taking ac-TION. [...]  I met a young girl who had been the sex slave of a rebel leader and bore his child.  I met a boy who was forced to kill his own sister at gunpoint.  And I was told about an 8-year-old boy who was made to eat his 15-year-old brother alive.

…I’m listening.

Anyway, the video cuts off right after that, but I can only assume his next line was, “If transnational organized crime was a woman, I would dress like a bear and punch it in the face.”

Masturbation-hating, non-witch Delaware Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell has a new campaign ad out.  Why is it on FilmDrunk, you ask?  Why, because it’s a fake movie trailer referencing the “they rapin’ errybody out there” guy, of course.  It seems that despite having to clarify that she isn’t actually a sorceress in her last ad*, Christine O’Donnell is quite savvy in the ways of the viral video, managing to nail two crucial internet video techniques, the fake trailer and the reference to other recent video.

“HIDE YOUR WILL…  HIDE YOUR LIGHTS… ‘CAUSE HE’S TAXING EVERYBODY OUT HERE.”

Oy.  First politicians on Twitter, now this.  And here I assumed they’d just now be discovering Keyboard Cat.  Anyway, it’s clever of O’Donnell to go after her opponent’s web-savvy base like this.  In order to compete, I hear he’s going to have to catch the greased-up Mexican at the next Tea Party squirrel feed.

*It’s one thing to tell people you’re not a witch, prove it.  They should’ve filmed that commercial with Christine O’Donnell on a scale next to a duck.  Christ, people, do I have to explain everything?

[via Videogum]

Ugh.  Well, you knew this was coming.  From Breitbart:

However, there is one thing about the movie that really upsets me.  It is blatant anti-military and less blatant anti-American.  [...]

There are scientists assigned by the New World Order to Pandora to negotiate a peaceful solution, but they are overruled by the military and the business interests at every turn.  Eventually, the military solution is the final solution.  The military then attacks with pure hatred and determination the locals on the planet.  They do not care for the sanctity of the alien life, whether it be women or children.

The glee with which the American Marines participate in this massacre is appalling and does not show the true feelings and concerns of the real United States Military.  James Cameron should apologize to the American Military and should make a statement that he does not truly feel this way about them.  He should also apologize to the American public for painting our young men and women that defend this country as cold-blooded killers.

However, I am sure the Mr. Cameron will not do this as the movie is obviously a political comment on Iraq and Afghanistan. [via Fark]

He ends his editorial by saying that we should boycott Starwood Hotels because they say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”.  Really.  Because political columnists are nothing if not shrill and barely coherent.  “An’ another thing, Mr. Cameron, why come when I go to da Sizzler, mah food done git cooked by a Messican!?”

The sad thing is, even though you can’t go through life worrying what these A-holes who twist everything into an attack on their imaginary way of life that they saw in a soap commercial from the 50s will think, James Cameron brought this on himself.  As I already pointed out, he basically made a movie about evil mercenaries who kill noble natives who were just minding their own business, worshiping trees and raping pterodactyls.   It may not be a liberal plot, but it is a pretty cheesy story.  Why not just make the villain a rich lady who wants to make a coat from the blue cat-monkey pelts?