Despite being a potentially self-loathing homophobic girlfriend-beating rage-a-holic, Chris Brown is adored by millions of teenage girls and therefore will always have work in the music and movie industries. His latest acting project is Planet B Boy, which to the ignorant ear sounds like it’s about to give “Homeboys in Outer Space” a run for its money.

Of course it’s actually about competitive street dancing, because we need more of that.

Based on a documentary of the same, the film follows a crew of American street dancers as they train to compete in France’s Battle of the Year International Championships. Benson Lee, who directed the Planet B-Boy documentary, will also helm its fictional adaptation. The film also stars Laz Alonso, Josh Peck, and Caity Lotz.

(Via Entertainment Weekly)

Fun fact: I don’t know who any of those people are. For all I know, they were created by a Hollywood name generator and the identities were given to three kids straight out of a Barbizon school. But the film will co-star Josh Holloway of “Lost” fame, which led me to wonder, “Why no C-Tates?”

So I reached out to FilmDrunk’s favorite and the world’s original B Boy, Channing Tatum, to ask why he’s not in this movie and his thoughts on men who beat women.

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Today Apple has this trailer for Planet B-Boy.  Which is apparently a break dancing documentary.

An American dancer in Vegas looks for his big break; a Korean son seeks his father’s approval; a twelve-year-old boy in France confronts his family’s racism – all the b-boys’ lives collide in Germany where their skills are put to the ultimate test: the “Battle of the Year” finals, with crews from 18 nations vying for the title of World Champion.

Uh dude?  There’s a guy spinning around on another guy’s head – I’ll take less backstory and more which demon he sold his soul to in order to become a human dreidel. I remember when people used to breakdance at recess in junior high.  I tried to do it once and all I did was break my ass.  I got so mad that the next time they turned the music on, I just punched the guy next to me.  And that’s how moshing got started.