Cars 2 will almost certainly become Pixar’s first “Rotten” film according to the Tomatometer. Who could’ve imagined a film with Dreamworks Face in every poster starring Larry the Cable Guy as the voice of a tow truck wouldn’t be a critical darling? Why, that’d be like trying to predict whether Larry the Cable Guy will wear sleeves. |RottenTomatoes|

Cars 2 and Bad Teacher are the movies that are opening this weekend. I don’t have time to do a Weekend Movie Guide, I’m sorry. In fairness, I did have the Bad Teacher writers on the Frotcast. |Yahoo|

Men in Black 3 will cost $215 million (that’s NET PRODUCTION BUDGET, supposedly). Money well spent, I’m sure. Can’t wait for the Wild Wild West reboot. |TheWrap|

King of Kong director Seth Gordon remaking War Games. Notice I was nice and didn’t call him “Four Christmases director Seth Gordon.” I’ll tell you how I feel about this idea when we find out whether his newest film, Horrible Bosses, is any good. So far, it’s… not looking good (though I do love Colin Farrell). Make Billy Mitchell the villain in all movies from now on.  The man is a nefarious hot sauce magnate. That sh*t will never, ever get old. |Deadline|

E from Entourage wants to direct a Kimbo Slice biopic. Kimbo would play himself (Note: this is never going to happen). No joke, I pitched a Kimbo Slice profile five years ago for a job I didn’t get.  That was before I realized people wanted to be told stories they’ve already heard. It’s like the inner me, was the enemy. The INNER me, was the ENERmy.  The INNER me. Was the ENNERMY.  But good luck to Kevin Connolly as a director. The fact that he’s completely unlikable as an actor is a big part of the reason Entourage isn’t very good. |TheWrap|

Here’s KRS-One reviewing Bad Teacher:

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If Pixar is the standard by which we inevitably, unfairly measure all other cartoons, Cars is the franchise that proves they’re still human. Though you’d think one of them would’ve been enough.  You’re not perfect, we get it.

[Official synopsis] Star racecar Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) and the incomparable tow truck Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) take their friendship to exciting new places in Cars 2 when they head overseas to compete in the first-ever World Grand Prix to determine the world’s fastest car. But the road to the championship is filled with plenty of potholes, detours and hilarious surprises when Mater gets caught up in an intriguing adventure of his own: international espionage.  Torn between assisting Lightning McQueen in the high-profile race and towing the line in a top-secret spy mission, Mater’s action-packed journey leads him on an explosive chase through the streets of Japan and Europe, trailed by his friends and watched by the whole world.

So… Delta Farce with cars, basically?  From the company that brought you a group of friends holding hands as they inch toward the incinerator, comes Larry the Cable Guy as a buck-toothed tow truck getting a bidet.  Whatever, man.

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Here’s Pixar’s contribution to the It Gets Better campaign.  Kudos to the people who make these, they’re tough.  Not bullying gay people is I guess one of those things that still needs to be said, even if it should be completely obvious to anyone with a half a brain.  At some point, I’d love to see this and Take Back the Night folded into a more inclusive “don’t be an *sshole moron” campaign. Or maybe a Heterosexual White Males: We’re Not All Out to Get You campaign.

Daniel Day-Lewis is Abraham Lincoln.  Incredible actor, certainly has the whole “looking angular” thing down.  The Steven Spielberg-directed film (based on the book Team of Rivals) begins next fall and Day-Lewis is already preparing by “visiting the state where the former president began his political career.”  I.e., Illinois.  He’s preparing to play Abraham Lincoln by visiting the state of Illinois.  Okay.  I know as an actor he probably wasn’t doing anything anyway, but could someone just rent Bill & Ted for him?  You’re making a Spielberg movie, dude, you’re not freeing the slaves. |AP/yahoo|

George Hickenlooper’s Death Ruled Accidental Overdose.  The Casino Jack/Factory Girl director who died a few weeks ago was found by the Colorado medical examiner to have died of an accidental overdose “after taking ethanol and oxymorphone.”  Wait, that’s still booze and pills, right?  Who calls it “ethanol”?  Dude was chuggin’ whiskey, not siphoning flex fuel. Unless he was much more hardcore than we ever imagined.|AP|

Crocodile Dundee’s Criminal Tax Evasion Charges Dropped. Paul Hogan reportedly owed $34 million and was barred from leaving Australia (he lives in LA), but apparently all that (at least the criminal part) is over now. Said Hogan, “That’s not a tax bill, THAT’s a tax bill,” and pointed to a red kangaroo with a comically oversized scrotum. He and the tax official had a good laugh about that before bonding over stubbies, loudly cursing the English, and finishing the night with a brotherly fist fight. |AP|

Wesley Snipes Sentenced to Three Years for Tax Evasion. Ouch.  Though he’s still not in custody and his lawyers are still trying to keep him out of prison. So, uh… good? Maybe you should’ve given the lawyer money to the gubment? Don’t you know “always bet on black” doesn’t hold up in court?  Anyway, good luck, and look out for autoerotic asphyxiation ninjas. |TorontoSun|

Pixar just released this teaser for their second sequel, Cars 2.  While it’s fun to rip on Dreamworks for being the Fredo of animated movies (this cartoon pretty much says it all), Pixar didn’t get the reputation for being the smart one by making movies like Cars 2.  Michael Caine voicing the smooth British car and Larry the Cable Guy as the buck-toothed hillbilly car is an idea right out a Dreamworks brainstorming session.  The only thing missing is popular song explicitly about cars.  Larry the Cable Guy seems like the kiss armpit fart of death for any project, doesn’t he?  Imagine if Andy Kaufman had come out with his “foreign guy” character, and when he realized people liked it, put out 10 foreign guy records and changed the name on his driver’s license to say “Latka.”  “Well, looks like a I found my niche, time to invent a catch phrase.”

[via ThePlaylist]

Unfortunately this came from Tumblr, and people on Tumblr aren’t very good at crediting their sources so I don’t have much information about it.  Is it real?  Is it Photoshopped?  Um… I don’t know.  All I know is the kid really looks like the Toy Story kid.  It seems like something someone could do fairly easily in Photoshop, but my knowledge of Photoshop is mainly limited to adding cats and putting Vince Vaughn eating an ice cream cone into the background (he’s everywhere!).  Anyway, fun picture.  But still not nearly as cute as the real-life kid from Up.  I would kidnap the sh*t out of that kid.  What?  I mean I would use him for pickin’ up chicks.  No, you’re weird.

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]