TorrentFreak recently released their list of the top-ten most downloaded movies of all time:

The list below is based on statistics is gathered from public BitTorrent trackers, dating back to early 2006. As BitTorrent’s usage was only a fraction of what it is today in the years before, we expect the list below to cover all the most downloaded movies on BitTorrent.

Interesting, but not the most surprising list. All of them big-budget blockbusters that did well in theaters, except for poor Kick-Ass, which suffers the indignity of being the seventh most-pirated movie of all time despite getting beat out by Date Night in its second week in theaters. Also, probably my favorite movie on this list (I like pre-pubescent girls in wigs, sue me).

All in all, you can tell this list skews towards the tastes of the tech-savvy, 18-40 year old dudes computer-literate enough to know how to torrent. It’s an interesting comparison with Netflix’s all-time most rented, which, as of last year, were led by Crash (the crappy, white-guilt one, not the awesome Cronenberg movie where James Spader screws a chick’s leg scar). Crash has since been dropped down to number two, by… wait for it… The Blind Side. Oh, Sandra Bullock, is there anything you can’t teach black people to do? White folks sure are generous. You can see that list after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Raptor Pope added for scale. Scale of awesomeness.

When they let Paul WS Anderson (aka Sh*tty Paul Anderson, not to be confused with Paul Thomas Anderson) direct a Three Musketeers movie, you knew two things: Milla Jovovich would be in it, and it would have ‘Splosions.  I guess there’s no surprising you, eh, Professor Smart Guy?  Well did you know it would have BUNJEE JUMPING in it? And ZEPPELINS? And did you know that those ZEPPELINS would be carrying FLOATING PIRATES SHIPS that CANNON FIGHT EACH OTHER WHILE DROPPING ANCHORS ON NAMELESS GAY FRENCH MUSTACHE DUDES!? 19th century French literature just pissed its pantsuit! Or whatever they wore back then! To be honest I don’t really read “books.”  But it don’t take no fancy book larnin’ to know that THIS. LOOKS. AWESOME. (*swings through room on chandelier, kicks cat off coffee table*)

Read the rest of this entry »

UPDATE: See below

According to the world’s ugliest website the Drudge Report, Disney is considering cutting all of Keith Richards’ scenes from Pirates 4 due to concerns about “pro-drug” comments in his new book.  And thus, we have everything wrong with the world packed into a single sentence.

DISNEY executives are sweating it out as salty details of an upcoming book written by rocker/actor Keith Richards leak and splash. [Dear Drudge, I want to strangle you with your own mouse cord. -Ed.]

Executives fear the rocker’s shocking admissions in his new book, LIFE, may cause a firestorm and ignite a backlash around the family-friendly Magic Kingdom. [wouldn't the verb "ignite" work better with "firestorm," dumbass? How does one "ignite" a "backlash"?]

Among the concerns, Richards appears to detail how to safely get stoned: Use ‘high-quality drugs’ in moderation! Richard writes: “It’s not only the high quality of drugs I had that I attribute my survival to. I was very meticulous about how much I took. I’d never put more in to get a little higher. That’s where most people f**k up on drugs.”

One well-placed entertainment source explains that Snow White may end up dumping her Dopey! [Oh my God I hope you die. Of all the Disney drug references you could've chosen, you picked "Dopey", even though Disney being "Snow White" in this situation doesn't make any f*cking sense.  And you thought this was clever enough to warrant both an exclamation point AND a separate paragraph. God you're a jackass.]

“They very well could end up cutting Keith out of the new movie over this,” claims the insider.

“We here at Disney apologize.  We had no idea one of the world’s most famous rock stars had done drugs, and once we found out, we had no choice but to fire him from our movie about guys who sail around drinking rum and raping people.”

Read the rest of this entry »

A U.K. studio is planning a Treasure Island movie, but don’t get the wrong idea, it won’t be like those crusty old things your grandpa used to look at — what were those called?  Books?  Yeah, screw that.  This is gonna be more like if Roxxxy the Sexbot got fisted by an iPad.  I hope they call it Treasure Pterodactyl Planet.

Ecosse films wants to update the 19th century tale of pirates and buried gold for contemporary auds, playing up the relationship between Long John Silver and narrator Jim Hawkins.  Silver’s character will be hipper, in the style of Robert Downey Jr’s interpretation of Sherlock Holmes. [Variety]

Okay, so when I wrote that opening paragraph I was expecting this to sound a lot dumber.  Damned British people and their restraint.  I’m just thanking God no one used the word “bromance.”  But to be fair, if a gay subplot was ever in order, it’d be in a story about pirates.  All that sailing around on a boat full of muscular outlaws, no women in sight.  Look, I’m not sayin I’d bang a dude if I were aboard ship, but I’d sure as hell watch.

Steven Spielberg, who once rocked the world’s nuts off with dinosaurs and Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, has optioned another Michael Crichton property, his unfinished, posthumously published pirate novel, Pirate Latitudes, “an adventure story set off the coast of Jamaica in 1665.” 

Spielberg plans to produce and is considering directing. DreamWorks Studios describes the novel as the story of “a daring plan to infiltrate Port Royal, one of the world’s richest and most notorious cities, and raid a Spanish galleon filled with treasure.”

[Dreamworks CEO Stacy] Snider says [Pirate Latitudes and Pirates of the Caribbean] won’t clash because Pirate Latitudes will be more grounded in reality, as opposed to the supernatural fantasy of the Disney films. [USA Today]

What, no dancing ghosts and Johnny Depp in makeup?  How could such a pirate movie possibly hope to entertain me?  Anyway, no word yet on possible casting, but upon hearing the news, Matthew McConnaughey coughed up some bong smoke and said, “A galleon filled with treasure?  Say man, I like the sound a that,” then zoned out for a while and played the bongos.

Read the rest of this entry »