DUNE REMAKE TAKEN OVER BY DISTRICT B-13 GUY

01.05.10 Written by Vince Mancini

LlamaWorm(The part of Llama Worm will be played by Drama Llama)

I haven’t read Dune, the best-selling sci-fi novel, or seen the infamous, 1984 David Lynch flop based on it.  I gather it involves giant worms from the future?  Anyway, originally-slated director Peter Berg is off directing a movie about Battleships from space (no, really), so Paramount has hired Pierre Morel (Taken, District B-13, From Paris with Bazooka John).

- Paramount is currently looking for a new writer to incorporate Morel’s vision of the project into the original draft by Quantum of Solace scribe Josh Zetumer. Morel plans to make a very faithful adaptation of the 1965 book by Frank Herbert. [EW]
- Morel is a long-time fan who brought his well-worn copy of the novel with him to meetings at Paramount, sources said. [Variety via GammaSquad]

Yeah, so I don’t really know anything about this project.  Is it anything like Tremors?  That would be cool.

Dramallama llamatassel

16 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

JOHN TRAVOLTA IS A BAZOOKA PIRATE

01.05.10 Written by Vince Mancini

JohnTravolta-pariswithlove

After the jump, I’ve got the second trailer for From Paris With Love, Pierre Morel’s follow up to Taken starring John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  I thought Taken was pretty dumb, but I appreciated the whole Liam-Neeson-shooting-women-in-the-arm thing.  This looks like a similarly straightforward plot — Travolta plays an anti-terrorism spy who’s a bit of a loose cannon, and who in the trailer literally shoots people with a loose cannon.  After Hairspray and some of the other stuff Travolta’s done in past few years, they really wanted to butch him up a bit.  So they gave him a goatee, a shaved head, and a big gold earring, which makes you look either really straight or like one of those mountain-man gays who whittles his own butt plugs.

Read the rest of this entry »

25 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

TRAVOLTA, RHYS-MEYERS IN WHO’S MORE BUTCH

09.17.09 Written by Vince Mancini

Taken I guess was sort of fun at times if you didn’t mind the plot being stolen from a Law & Order episode.   From Paris with Love is director Pierre Morel’s follow up, a buddy-cop movie starring John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.  Again, it’s pretty much Lethal Weapon, Rush Hour, and Training Day thrown into a blender and covered with bechamel sauce, but it could be delightfully stupid, especially with John Travolta playing the butchest straight-guy caricature since Wolverine.  WHATSA MATTER, DONCHOO FAGGOTS LIKE FOOTBALL?? WHO WANTS A HEADBUTT!!  SlashFilm says:

Travolta seems very well employed here, in a role that plays to his strengths superbly. I’m hoping he has a little dance sequence too, as a cherry on the cheesecake.

Yes, some singing and dancing would really be the chenille on my throw pillow, the glitter on my sparklepony, the tassels on my nipple clamps.  Anyway, let me know if I ever start writing like that so I can kick my own ass.
Read the rest of this entry »

17 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

LIAM NEESON IS VENGEFUL

01.30.09 Written by Vince Mancini

This is the second trailer for Taken, starring Liam Neeson, which opens today.  This one gives us a little better idea of the plot, which sadly, is pretty much the plot of a John Cena movie.  In movies, the guy whose daughter or wife gets kidnapped is always a Navy SEAL or CIA Agent.  If they made the movie about me, my daughter would get kidnapped and the next scene would just be me photoshopping the kidnapper’s face onto a monkey’s butt.   This time, they messed with the wrong guy.

34 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

JOHN TRAVOLTA ACTING BUTCH

12.23.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Is ‘connais’ French for ‘baby condom’?

After the jump I’ve got the new trailer for From Paris With Love, from District B-13 director Pierre Morel and Luc Besson, starring John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  If you can figure out what the hell the French guy says at the 15-second mark, you get a prize.  I’ve rewound it about 17 times and still have no idea.  Anyway, I don’t know about you guys, but John Travolta in a bald pate and goatee aiming a bazooka directly at the camera makes me instinctively clench my butt cheeks.
Read the rest of this entry »

80 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

[avatar]
Welcome to Film Drunk.
| Register
Follow Us