Review: The Master is a beautiful art film about boobs and farts

Written by Vince Mancini / 09.21.12

The Master is the latest film from Paul Thomas Anderson, critically-beloved auteur of Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love, and There Will Be Blood, a roman á clef about Scientology starring Joaquin Phoenix as a drifter named Freddy Quell that’s sure to be debated for years to come. For instance, is Quell more of a gas-huffing pussy lover or a pussy-loving gas huffer? It’s a rift that will tear apart families, pit brother against brother.

The Master is polarizing, because like Drive, it’s largely an atmospheric movie. There’s no real political or religious message that you’re supposed to take away from it, and it’s not a thrilling tale of plot-driven intrigue – you mean Xenu was really dead the whole time? Whoooaaaaoooaaa. There’s no scene where Phoenix’s character accidentally kills a townie and Philip Seymour Hoffman plugs him in the back of the head on a riverbank while telling him stories about all the tits and pussies on the planet Kolob – red ones and blue ones and green ones! – as an angry mob approaches. A writing teacher once told me that the heart of every story is people and place, and that’s what The Master is. It’s nothing so much as a meditative, rotating series of historical portraits – who are these people and what do they do? – mostly straightforward and matter of fact, without the fart-sniffing pop-psychology you get with most indie films. It’s more concerned with enjoying who Joaquin’s character is than trying to figure out what’s his problem. It’s beautiful to look at, and Joaquin’s snarl-lipped, sex-obsessed simpleton is endlessly entertaining. When I’m enjoying what I’m watching this much,  BUT WHAT’S THE ARTIST TRYING TO SAY!??! never much enters the equation.

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The 8 Creepiest Roles Of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Creepy Career

Written by Josh Kurp / 09.14.12


Philip Seymour Hoffman is the only actor I can think of that can be described as “creepy” or “a pervert,” and it’s meant as a compliment. He’s a dependably fantastic actor who can play the lead (Capote), the bully who hates yahoo touchers, (My Boyfriend’s Back), the drugged-out journalist (Almost Famous), the assistant (The Big Lebowski), the guy who gets set on fire while in a wheelchair (Red Dragon), the villain (Mission: Impossible III), and the guy who has sex with Marisa Tomei in the first scene of a movie (Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead), all with equal aplomb. But mostly, he’s the creepy dude.

In honor of The Master, which teams PSH with director Paul Thomas Anderson for the fifth time, here are the eight creepiest roles in Philip Seymour Hoffman’s creepy career.

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New trailer for The Master, which is still totally not about Scientology please don’t sue us.

Written by Vince Mancini / 08.28.12

Hawaiian shirt: Uncool. Hawaiian shirt while carrying gun: The coolest thing in the world.

It’s less than three weeks until the opening of The Master (September 21st, to be precise), and thank God, I can’t handle too many more stories about Premium Rush or The Words. There’s a new, presumably final trailer out, which you can watch below, structured in the sort of stylish stand-alone short film style to which we’ve become accustomed. And it’s still totally not about Scientology, you guys, we swear (pleasedontsuepleasedontsue…).

In the trailer, one critic of Schmienschmology (don’t know what else to call it) says at a party: “Good science allows for more than one opinion, otherwise you merely have the will of one man, which is the basis of a cult.”

To which Amy Adams’ character responds: “The only way to defend ourselves is to attack!”

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Joaquin Phoenix licks window panes in the full trailer for The Master

Written by Vince Mancini / 07.20.12

How ’bout a brief respite from tragedy, shall we? The Weinstein Company just released a full-length trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master, starring Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Amy Adams in a story said to chronicle a fictionalized version of the origins of Scientology. Our handsome older brother site WWTDD points out that the Scientology questionnaire is about as close as they could get to the questionnaire in the film without just taking it verbatim. Scientology or not, I’m just excited to see Joaquin Phoenix do that creepy serial killer face where it looks like he wants to kill me and have sex with me at the same time for a whole movie.

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WATCH: New teaser clip for Paul Thomas Anderson’s ‘The Master’

Written by Vince Mancini / 06.19.12

You guys can have your summer comic book movies where buff guys in tights rub their codpieces on each other and reverse the polarity, the movie I’m most excited for is The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson’s possibly-about-Scientology-but-let’s-say-it’s-not-so-we-don’t-get-sued epic set to open in October. In this just-released clip, Joaquin Phoenix’s troubled-drifter harelip character meets with Philip Seymour Hoffman, who might be based on L. Ron Hubbard, but only loosely enough to avoid a lawsuit.

Joaquin’s character asks Hoffman (Lancaster Doddd) “what do you do?” To which he replies:

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