After the jump, we’ve got the first full trailer for The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn, a collaboration between Steven Spielberg (directing), Peter Jackson, and digital effects company WETA. I guess the big question is whether a team of writers that includes Hot Fuzz/Scott Pilgrim‘s Edgar Wright, Attack the Block director Joe Cornish, and British TV writer Steven Moffat can reverse Spielberg’s recent descent into suckitude (there is no excuse for Indiana Jones 4). It’s hard to say from the trailer, but if you keep your eyes peeled at the 57-second mark, you can catch my all-time favorite reaction shot, the classic, dog-covering-his-eyes-with-his-paws shot.  YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING, NOT EVEN THE DOG CAN BEAR TO LOOK AT YOU! It seems to say.  If my life were a movie, I imagine the director cutting to that after my every sexual encounter.

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Courtesy of MGM/New Line, here’s your first look at Jed Brophy, Adam Brown, and Mark Hadlow as Nori, Ori, and Dori, the dwarves from The Hobbit.  Ori is the Jewish one, while Nori and Dori were given girl names to make them tougher.  Okay, I made that up.

These three brothers, all sons of the same mother, could not be more different from each other. Dori, the oldest, spends much of his time watching out for Ori, the youngest; making sure he’s not caught a chill or got himself killed by Wargs or Goblins. Nobody quite knows what Nori gets up to most of the time, except that it’s guaranteed to be dodgy and quite probably, illegal. Dori, Nori and Ori are intensely loyal to each other – and whilst they are perfectly happy fighting amongst themselves, woe-betide any anyone who means harm to one of these brothers.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens in 3D, 2D and IMAX 3D theaters on December 14, 2012. [ComingSoon]

My sources tell me braiding Nori’s beard was the most exciting to happen to New Zealand since Wellington got a pickling plant. Prime Minister Steve even declared it an official holiday!  Everyone got the day off from shearing.

Peter Jackson is getting fat again, and you know what that means: MORE HOBBIT MOVIES! The first (how many of these are there now, ten?) of the two-part The Hobbit is set to open December 14th, 2012, after a back-to-back, 254-day shoot.  Jackson provided these new set pictures to EW, featuring stars Martin Freeman and Ian McKellen.  BRITISH PEOPLE LOOKING PENSIVE! IT’S THE MOST EXCITING THING EVER TO HAPPEN IN NEW ZEALAND! I kid, I kid. Actually I hear things are really starting to heat up down there, Tom Rogers just bought a Walkman.

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"Hi. I'm Peter Jackson."

We’ve got six more hours of Hobbit movies coming next winter, and now they have titles. Starring Martin Freeman (below right) in the lead role, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens December 14th, 2012, and The Hobbit: There and Back Again is set for a year later.  Because God forbid you call them The Hobbit Part 1 and 2.

Both films are set in Middle-earth 60 years before Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings,”  The adventure of “The Hobbit” follows the journey of title character Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug.
Under Jackson’s direction, both movies are being shot consecutively in digital 3D using the latest camera and stereo technology. Filming is taking place at Stone Street Studios, Wellington, and on location around New Zealand.
Ian McKellen returns as Gandalf the Grey. Also reprising their roles from “The Lord of the Rings” movies are: Cate Blanchett as Galadriel; Orlando Bloom as Legolas; Ian Holm as the elder Bilbo; Christopher Lee as Saruman; Hugo Weaving as Elrond; Elijah Wood as Frodo; and Andy Serkis as Gollum. [press release via ComingSoon]

I can’t imagine devoting a full decade of my career to 70-year-old books about dwarves and dragons and elves who sing songs, but luckily Peter Jackson isn’t even close to being bored of it, because he grew up in New Zealand.  Those people are like X-Men when it comes to imperviousness to boredom. I heard The Olive Garden recently scrapped plans to expand to New Zealand after the locals deemed it “too zesty.”  Meanwhile, the hardest part for the rest of the cast will be the three months they have to spend in Delaware after shooting to get reacclimated.

We’ve been hearing about The Adventures of TinTin: Secret of the Unicorn (directed by Steven Spielberg, produced by Peter Jackson) for what feels like decades, and finally, the first teaser is here.  Based on the beloved Belgian comic strip I’d never heard of before this, the 3D, motion-capture project “stars” Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jamie Bell, and Cary Elwes.  As far as I’m concerned, the most interesting thing about it is that Edgar Wright co-wrote the script (with Steven Moffat and Joe Cornish).  Seriously, did you guys see Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson’s last movies?  Anyway, now that the first footage is here, it sure looks… uh… motion-capturey.  Although it may have broken the record for most dramatic music ever set to footage of a guy staring at a toy boat.

[HD Available at Apple]

Here’s Jackson’s explanation for using motion-capture to Empire Magazine back in November:

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