If I’ve learned anything in all of these years on this crazy spinning rock, it’s that the Internet is a place of many, many, many, many (a million times more) different tastes, and rather than try to understand them all, I should just accept most of them. That’s why when I fell into a Deviant ART wormhole the other day and ended up browsing through something called “morphs” before taking a strange turn into Fat Hollywood, I just said, “F*ck it” and rolled with it. Pun sort of intended.

I don’t really know how to describe this strange exercise in photoshop other than by pointing at the banner pic of an obese Megan Fox and saying, “That.” Basically, from what I can tell, there are a lot of people out there who appreciate the true beauty of some of Hollywood’s most famous and talented actresses, but they’d prefer them to have a little more meat on their bones.

To each his own is what I say, because life is short and we should enjoy whatever makes us happiest. At least that’s a new philosophy I’m trying to embrace these days. So I gathered some of the morphs and FAToshops (trademark pending) of my favorite gorgeous actresses so that we could all see their beauty from a new, well-rounded perspective.

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The banner image that never gets old.

As previously noted, James Cameron decided that he needed another $500 million to fund his future conquest of the Snorks and the lost city of Atlantis so he re-released Titanic last week in a special new 3D version. And while this special edition has only earned $32 million at the box office thus far – probably because it’s not that great of a movie – people are still going back one more time to hope that Rose doesn’t kill Jack again by making him float in the freezing water.

But people in China are getting the short end of the stick, as they’re missing out on Kate Winslet’s nude scene because the Chinese government is concerned that people will try to reach out and grab her giant 3D breasts. Oh China, a nation of FilmDrunkards.

An official at the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television said: ‘Considering the vivid 3D effects, we fear that viewers may reach out their hands for a touch and thus interrupt other people’s viewing.

‘To avoid potential conflicts between viewers and out of consideration of building a harmonious ethical social environment, we’ve decided to cut off the nudity scenes.’

Cinemagoers took to the internet to express their dismay after watching the new version of James Cameron’s 1997 disaster epic, which won 11 Oscars after its first release.

Offbeat China, a blog about the country’s internet culture, quoted one commenter as saying: ‘I waited 15 years to see 3D boobs, not 3D iceberg.’ (Via the Daily Mail)

Fifteen years? Dude, you have the freaking Internet. There are more breasts available online than there are people in China. But if you’re so desperate to see Winslet’s knockers in 3D, you’re going to have to wait a few more months to pick up the 3D version on Blu Ray. Then you’ll have to spend a few grand on a 3D TV, which will go great with your Laser Disc player and Zip Drives.

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