It has been announced that FilmDrunk favorite and the hardest working man in Hollywood, Channing Tatum, will star in the American Revolution tale Love and Honor, with Anne Hathaway rumored to play his love interest. Tatum will play Kieran Culkin Selkirk, an American soldier in 1774. Selkirk is sent to Russia by Benjamin Franklin to woo Catherine the Great in order to stop Russia from aiding Britain against the American uprising. As always, my friend C-Tates was more than happy to stop by and lay his mack down.

Yo girl, check it… Four trips to Scores and seven lap dances ago, C-TATES IS IN DA MUTHAF*CKIN’ HIZZOUSE!!! Yo check it, right? C-Tates is all about da Benjamins like Diddy, aight? But naw, like dis time I’m all bowdy bowdy Ben Franken, for realz. Yo girl, I ain’t talkin’ bout the hundred dolla billz in yo G-string. It’s dat boi wit da kite and ‘lectricity, son. And he’s all like, Yo C-Tates, you need to go to Russia all proper and put a hurtin’ and squirtin’ on Cafferine da Great and make her be all like, Yo C-Tates, why you so fine? And then I pop and lock, right? Yo girl, f*ck the British, ya heard? WHAT!

Yo Shockya, I’mma put two in tha pink but I ain’t puttin’ my finger nowhere else, right?

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The Young Victoria stars Emily Blunt in an incendiary tale of costumes, gossip, social climbing, and intrigue. People are already saying it makes The Duchess look like Elizabeth: Golden Age.  Boy, I hope this one has passionate longing. Passionate longing is like swordfights to menopausal white women.

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]

"Oh, I ever so wish I had more candles."

Keira Knightley is starring in another period piece, The Duchess.  I still can’t embed clips with my account, so you can watch a new clip from The Duchess here.  Try to stay awake.  If it helps, picture the fact that the corsets Knightley had to wear caused her to fart constantly.

Spread bat guano all over your face then sit in direct sunlight for an hour. Rinse it off with moose urine.   Repeat six times. This will not help you embed a video clip.

I probably shouldn’t have insulted Babylon 5 and Penny Arcade in front of the tech guys.  So I may have embedding privileges [heh heh "bedding privileges"] later today.  Or not.  Deal.

– RoboPanda

I know how you’ve all been waiting for this moment, so I won’t keep you in suspense.  The Duchess, starring Keira Knightley as the Duchess of Devonshire, finally has a poster!  It opens September 19th and I can’t wait to see it.  Me and my bros are gonna go check it out after we mix up some jungle juice for the Alpha Phi party (More like the all-for-free party, am I right?  Someone give me a fist bump!).  Oh man, it’s gonna be so sick.