When you call your movie “The Box” (though it used to be called “Button, Button,” which isn’t much better), put Cameron Diaz on the poster, and put a big red slit down her face, it sends a pretty strong subliminal message.  And that message is, “THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT PERIODS AND VAGINAS.  IF YOU COME SEE THIS, CAMERON DIAZ IS GOING TO HAVE HER PERIOD ALL OVER YOUR FACE.”

I’m not sure that’s a selling point, but hey man, don’t shoot the messenger.

^{RDJ pats a young coffee vendor on the head.  “Give us a shilling then, guv,” said the cheeky lad.}

The first pictures from the London set of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes adaptation have hit the web.  Just the thought of Robert Downey Jr. chewing scenery as Sherlock Holmes made me squirt a little glee pee down the leg of my sweat pants.  Here we see him sporting a great period costume, and by that I mean it looks like the outfit they give you in the nurse’s office when you get period on yourself.  Blood on your skirt?  Here, wear these plaid parachute pants, we wouldn’t want you to feel embarrassed.

[Inf via Bestweekever]

[JustJared via CHUD]

I just watched the brand new trailer for The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and I got period everywhere!  It was my first one! Who wants to go maxi shopping?

I don’t know about you, but I’m worried that The Duchess with Keira Knightley (our generation’s greatest underbiter) just isn’t going to be enough to slake my thirst for period pieces about fashionable ladies – specifically Duchesses. 

Just when I thought my craving couldn’t get any worse, I find the trailer for this, The Duchess of Langeais.  I don’t know much about pronouncing French stuff, but I’m pretty sure it practically has "gay" in the title! 

Antoinette is the Duchess of Langeais, a married coquette who frequents the most extravagant balls in 1820’s Paris during The Restoration, where hypocrisy and vanity reign. Upon the handsome general Armand de Montriveau’s first meeting with her, he realized it was true love. Flattered by his attentions, the alluring Antoinette orchestrates a calculating game of seduction, but she repeatedly refuses Montriveau. Despite his sincere romantic declarations, Montriveau’s passion remains unfulfilled. When the humiliated Montriveau eventually seeks his revenge, Antoinette’s love awakens. But it may well be too late for the star-crossed lovers.

Snap! I wonder if they’ll finally get it together before the credits roll. I hope there’ll be longing and unrequited passions, I’m a sucker for that shit. 

I’m all for a period piece if it involves pirates, dueling, cannons, vikings, nazis, mongols, rape humor, or human sacrifice.  So… what’s The Duchess about?

The film is based on Amanda Foreman’s best-selling novel ‘Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire’, chronicles the life of 18th century aristocrat Georgiana, an ancestor of Princess Diana who was also celebrated and reviled for her extravagant political and personal lives. The movie also stars Ralph Fiennes as the Duke of Devonshire. [/film]

"Duchess of Devonshire’" was my high school football nickname and that still sounds more boring than watching chamomile steep.  Seriously, if you know someone who finds this exciting, you should secretly get her addicted to heroin. You’d be doing her a favor, really.