The Harry Potter ripoff parade has been in full swing for a few years now, long enough for the derivative books to get made into derivative movies.  On that note, here’s the trailer for Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.  Zeus comes alive and goes after this kid who he thinks stole his lightning. Poor Zeus. He was just lying in the grass of Sunday morning of last week, indulging in his self defeat.

Meanwhile, Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, king of all things lame and crappy, has bought the rights to a series of films based on the ‘Nicholas Flamel’ books.

Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House, has already published three books in the six-part series — “The Alchemyst,” “The Magician” and “The Sorceress” — and will publish the fourth, “The Necromancer,” in May. The books detail the adventures of fifteen-year-old twins Sophie and Josh Newman as they travel around the world with the immortal alchemist Nicholas Flamel.

See, because the ancient prophecies tell them that they’re the chosen ones who will save the world.  Hey, I have an idea for movie.  There’s this kid.  He’s not special, he can’t do magic, and in the climactic finale, he shuts the hell up and brings daddy a beer.

This is the trailer for Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.  This one’s about a regular kid… who one day discovers… (*RECORD SCRATCH*) that he’s a descendant of the Greek Gods!  It’s based on a book by Rick Riordan that surely must’ve taken an entire afternoon to write, and directed by Chris “Mailin it in since 92″ Columbus.

It’s got a bunch of stars in the cast, like Uma Thurman and Rosario Dawson and Steve Coogan, but my favorite part of the trailer is the 43-45 second mark, where if you keep playing just that part, you can hear Pierce Brosnan call the kid with stupid hair and a cardigan “Pussy” over and over.  Try it after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »