The nominees for the 35th Annual People’s Choice Awards have been announced, and you can see them after the jump.  As always, it reads much like the “Things People Who Don’t Read Might Remember”. The show will air January 7th, and the host, naturally, will be Queen Latifah.  You can vote here, but I’ll think less of you if you do.

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Some of the big winners at last night’s Are You F*cking Serious?! People’s Choice Awards:

Female TV star: Katherine Heigl
Reality show: "Dancing With the Stars"
Leading lady [?!?]: Drew Barrymore
Female action star: Keira Knightley
Movie: "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End"
"Threequel": "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End"
Pop song: Justin Timberlake, "What Goes Around … Comes Around" [Editor's note: Good thing you put those ellipses there, JT, you caught me hella off guard LOL!]
Funny male: Robin Williams

At the risk of sounding like an elitist, everyone with a vote on this diseased carnival of abortion is an inbred monkey who should be euthanized for the good of the species (I’d say sterilized but these people practically sweat children). 

Actually, that was harsh.  We should keep about 50 of them around so that they can keep making Cheaters. (Full List of Categories and Nominees after the jump)

Favorite Beverage: Sunny Delight, Kool Aid, Mountain Dew, Coors
Favorite Author: Dan Brown, John Grisham, Donald Trump, Jesus
Favorite Birth Control Method: Condoms, Saran Wrap, Mountain Dew, Anal

I don’t know how I missed this, but a few days ago, the People’s Choice Awards released their list of nominations. Among them:

Favorite Movie: The Bourne Ultimatum; Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End; Transformers
Favorite Family Movie: Evan Almighty, Ratatouille, Shrek the Third

You can see the full list here.  It’s nice that the People’s Choice Awards committee nominates stuff like Pirates and Transformers, instead of condescending to us with faux high brow stuff like those dandies at the Oscars. I so enjoy the People’s Choice Awards, in fact, that I did some digging, and found…

People’s Choice Awards – The Lost Categories

Favorite Beverage: Sunny Delight, Kool Aid, Mountain Dew, Coors
Favorite Author: Dan Brown, John Grisham, Donald Trump, Jesus
Favorite Birth Control Method: Condoms, Saran Wrap, Mountain Dew, Anal
 

•    Favorite Salad Dressing: Ranch, Thousand Island, Buttermilk, Gravy
•    Favorite Scapegoat: Queers, The Devil, Mexicans, Evolution
•    Favorite Restaurant: Arby’s, The Olive Garden, Dairy Queen, Spago
•    Favorite Sport: NASCAR, Noodling, Wrasslin’, Horseplay
•    Favorite Tattoo: ‘Mom’, Arm Band, Tramp Stamp, Tribal
•    Favorite Religion: Baptist, Methodist, Jesusism, NASCAR
•    Favorite Footwear: Socks, Tube Socks, Aqua Socks, Birkenstocks
•    Favorite Dessert: Ice Cream, Snickers, Toothpaste, Domestic Violence
•    Favorite Actress: Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Jenna Jameson, That Black Chick
•    Favorite Neckwear: Scarf, Ascot, T-Shirt, Hickies
•    Favorite Foreigner: David Beckham, Borat, 50 Cent, A-Rod
•    Favorite Steak: Sirloin, Salisbury, Chicken-Fried, Tube
•    Favorite TV Personality: Jeff Foxworthy, Donald Trump, Ronald McDonald, Hitler
•    Favorite Facial Hair: Goatee, Soul Patch, Chinstrap, Neck Beard
•    Favorite Statutory Rape Rationalization: “If She’s Old Enough to Bleed, She’s Old Enough to Breed,” “If There’s Grass on the Field, Play Ball,” “If She’s Tall Enough to Reach the Mailbox, She’s Old Enough to Get the Package,” “Shit Happens.”
•    Favorite Child Name: Connor, Cody, Cooder, Shitferbrains
•    Favorite Hairstyle (Male): Mullet, Bowl Cut, ‘Bama Bangs, Sox Hat
•    Favorite Hairstyle (Female): Jersey Girl, Fe-Mullet, Power Bangs, Sox Hat
•    Favorite Contraction: Ain’t, Y’all, Wadn’t, Mu’Fucker
•    Favorite Snack: Bugles, Pork Rinds, Cigarettes, Hot Pockets

And, since this is People’s Choice, feel free to submit your own! 

User Submitted:

Favorite Birth Defects: Webbed Feet, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Club Feet, Freckles
Favorite Place to Beat Your Kids: Butt, Face and Neck Area, Right Thur in the Middle a the Goddamned Wal-Mart in Front a the Manager and Everbuddy