This clip is obviously old and was apparently uploaded to YouTube in 2009, so feel free to leave dickish remarks about how this isn’t news and how I’m terrible person in the comments, but I hadn’t seen it before today and I thought it was interesting, so here we are. It’s a 1983 pencil test for Who Framed Roger Rabbit, with the voice of Roger played by Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman. The movie wouldn’t come out until 1988, and the role eventually went to character actor Charles Fleischer, whom you may remember as the creepy guy who scared the sh*t out of Jake Gyllenhaal in that basement in Zodiac.

He certainly looks more like a serial killer than a cartoon rabbit. Thank God whoever did the voice casting was able to see beyond appearances, Fleischer seems like a much better fit than Paul Reubens would’ve been (his brilliance as Pee Wee notwithstanding).

In related news, my sources tell me that the voice of Jessica Rabbit was originally played by Ernest Borgnine. Who knew!

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It seems we’re in the midst of a Pee Wee renaissance.  He’s been selling out his shows at the Nokia theater, Judd Apatow is reportedly developing a new Pee Wee Herman movie, and Paul Reubens is the subject of this month’s Playboy interview.  But all you really need to know about the above video is: Pee Wee Herman + the Sturgis biker rally + Queen = rainbows and corgis.  It’s just science.  This video will put this in your heart, at least until Lorenzo Lamas shows up.

Okay, I can’t help it, I have to bring up just one point from his Playboy interview:

PLAYBOY: You maintained you were innocent of the charge that you were masturbating in an adult theater.
REUBENS: Had we gone to trial, we had read an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand.  I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand.  That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.

At first I thought the “Masters and Johnson Institute” was just a pretend organization that old timey comedians reference when citing fake masturbation statistics, the same way my grandpa called taking a dump “seeing a man about a horse,” but apparently it’s a real thing.  As for Pee Wee’s jack stats, I’ve already addressed the fact that I myself have subverted thousands of years of dominant-hand primate masturbatory evolution simply by using my dominant hand to operate the computer mouse, so unless I’m the world’s only anomaly, that defense theory doesn’t hold water.  Finally, is this really a point you want to argue?  I might point out that it’s actually much weirder to pay for a ticket to a porn film in an adult theater and not plan to jerk off there.  “I say, Officer, don’t lump me with these other heathens, I simply came here to partake in a movie film.”

It’s hard to remember a time when getting caught at a jack-off theater could get you thrown out of show business for a decade plus like it did Pee Wee Herman back in ’91. (And isn’t raiding a jack-off theater to catch guys jacking off kind of a d*ck move? Why else would guys be going to the AMC Jack-Off 24?)  These days it wouldn’t even be news if he was a Republican congressman.  But Paul Reubens could soon be the ultimate comeback story for public masturbators, as Judd Apatow is set to produce a new Pee-Wee movie.  The project came about after Apatow caught the Pee Wee Herman revival show, which played to sold-out crowds at the Nokia theater in LA earlier this year.  Said Apatow, “It was brilliant, I sat there jacking off the entire time.”

Judd Apatow is developing an untitled Pee-Wee Herman feature for Universal that Paul Reubens is writing with thesp-scribe Paul Rust [the guy who loved Beth Cooper]. Apatow will produce though he will not helm the project.  Pic is described as featuring the iconic geek in a road pic built around “a gigantic adventure.” [Variety]

So, like, bigger than a “Big Adventure”, say? Anyway, I like Judd Apatow as a director.   As a producer… who knows, you might end up with Drillbit Taylor.  But good for Paul Reubens. I’m sure David Carradine and Michael Hutchence are smiling down from whack-off heaven while they choke ‘bate right now.  I know my grandpa is.

Side note: Paul Reubens is 57 years old.  How the hell is that possible?

Todd Solondz recently found a financial backer for his next film, a semi-sequel to his 1998 film Happiness. I know what you’re probably thinking, “Who? What? Where am I? You’re not my real father.” But bear with me. I’ve included a couple clips from Happiness so you know what we’re dealing with. It’s one of the creepiest, weirdest, funniest movies I’ve ever seen. Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the sweaty pervert who makes obscene phone calls is one of the finest performances in all of cinema.

Solondz wrote the screenplay, which revolves around a group of struggling individuals. struggling to find a place for themselves in an unpredictable and volatile world. The narrative is told through a series of intersecting love stories.; the past haunts the present and imperils the future: ghosts circle and loom, trouble and console.

The project has been incubating for years, with Emma Thompson, Demi Moore and Paul Reubens rumored to be attached. “Happiness,” which featured themes of child molestation and rape, initially received an NC-17 from the MPAA board but was eventually released unrated. [Variety]

An NC-17 rape and molestation movie with Peewee Herman in it. I just came.
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