The Boston Globe is reporting that the role of Larry in the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges movie, originally set to star Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey, until Sean Penn pulled the kind of selfish dick move that is his trademark, will be filled by Paul Giamatti.

In town this week to see Paul McCartney play at Fenway, Peter Farrelly told us that Paul Giamatti has signed on to replace Sean Penn as Larry. Playing Moe will be Benicio Del Toro, one Hollywood’s biggest “Three Stooges” fans. Still to be cast is Curly. There had been reports that Jim Carrey would utter Curly’s signature “n’yuk, n’yuk, n’yuk,” but it’s not so.

Jim Carrey dropping out makes sense, but it’s strange that Paul Giamatti would jump in as Larry.  What basically happened was Penn dropped out, then a bunch of people said “Hey, what about Paul Giamatti?  He’s weird looking and bald.”  Then someone asked Giamatti about it and he said [via /Film]:

“They were always so dark and grim. And Moe was this ancient man with a little boy’s haircut. But Larry? I don’t get Larry. He’s strange. He’s sort of the blank guy in the middle.”

So maybe he had a change of heart.  Or maybe Peter Farrelly was just drunk.  Or maybe we’re all just figments of Tom Cruise’s coma fantasy, what am I, a wizard?  Anyway, I don’t see this movie happening.  I love the stooges, but the Farrellys haven’t made a good movie in a long time, and comedy doesn’t really age well (in fact, the latter may explain the former).  If they want to get this made, they’re gonna have to change the source to a graphic novel and Larry and Curly to two warring factions of vampires.

This trailer for Cold Souls should help appease those women who always complain about Hollywood casting  hot women opposite schlubby guys. Paul Giamatti’s wife is played by Emily Watson, who’s almost his perfect equal in weird-lookingness.  I’d like to think if they had a kid it might look like Steve Buscemi, or William H. Macy. Anyway, the film very much has the look and feel of a Charlie Kaufman film (Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine), but actually comes from first-timer Sophie Barthes.

After intense rehearsals of Chekhov’s “Uncle Vanya,” Paul is emotionally drained. He stumbles upon a “Soul Storage,” a private lab offering New Yorkers something intriguing: a relief from the burden of their souls. Paul decides to get his soul extracted, only to discover that it has the shape and size of a chickpea. After a failed attempt to live and act without his soul, he rents an alleged Russian poet’s soul, which guides him into a strange dreamlike world. Things take an unexpected turn when he decides to get his soul back and meets Nina, a Russian soul mule, who illicitly transports souls from Russia to America. [QuietEarth]

If you’re keeping score at home, that’s:  Plot of a Simpson’s Episode + Chekhov = Indie film.

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This is the poster for Cold Souls, starring Paul Giamatti, which surprisingly isn’t a Charlie Kaufman movie. [Cinematical]

Danny Trejo ees not going to be een The Expendables after all, guey.  He will, however, be in Machete, which is likely to be Robert Rodriguez’ next project, despite what you may have been heard about Predators, Nerverackers, or The Jetsons.  Or not.  Who knows with Robert Rodriguez. He’s quickly becoming the Mexican Brett Ratner. [ThePlaylist]

Gordon Chan is doing a movie based on the King of Fighters video game.  I don’t know what that is, but the movie has Sean Faris in it so it’ll probably be really, really good.  Somewhere, Cam Gigandet silently glares at his blackberry.  [movieset]

Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov (boxing nickname: The Black Mambetov) claims Angelina Jolie will be back for Wanted 2, even though her character died at the end of the [SPOILER ALERT] first one.  How will they do that?  Time travel, I’m guessing.  The first one relied on a giant mechanical loom supposedly built in pre-industrial times, I doubt realism is a concern.  [MTV]

Roy Rogers will return for a “King of Cowboys” film trilogy, even though Roy Rogers has been dead for 11 years.  How will they do that?  “Geadelmann said the planned film trilogy will ‘not be a biopic, and will not be a traditional Western, but rather a family fantasy adventure. Roy Rogers, Dale Evans and Trigger are quintessential figures of America, and we will introduce this franchise to a new audience while capitalizing on the millions of Roy Rogers fans worldwide.’”  Thanks, now it totally makes sense.  Great reporting, Variety.  [Variety]

Platinum Dune producers say the next Friday the 13th film (the sequel to the remake… guhh…) may feature Jason in the snow.  But the movie itself won’t take place in the snow, because places that have snow are too cold.  No seriously, that’s what they said.  [CHUD]

Dave Eggers wrote a 300-page novelization of Where the Wild Things Are “about the confusions of a boy, Max, making his way in a world he can’t control. His father is gone, his mother is spending time with a younger boyfriend, his sister is becoming a teenager… At the same time, Max finds himself capable of startling acts of wildness: he wears a wolf suit, bites his mom, and can’t always control his outbursts.”  Wait, are we sure this isn’t about Gary Busey?  [Amazon]

Duplicity (trailer after the jump) stars Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Tom Wilkinson, and comes from Michael Clayton director Tony Gilroy (“H.W. calls it Michael Gay-ton.  That’s a burn”).  Judging by the kooky horn music, it’s some kind of screwball comedy, and Clive Owen and Julia Roberts are a spy couple.

What would it take to live like this?
20 million dollars?
I was thinking more like 40.
So what do you have to do to make 40 million dollars?

Well, you could always just have Julia Roberts’ character go undercover as Julia Roberts like in Ocean’s Twelve.  Goddamn that was f-cking stupid.
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The new movies out this past weekend (notably Fred Claus and Lions for Lambs) didn’t make a huge dent in the box office, with Bee Movie taking the top spot, American Gangster dropping to second, and Fred Claus opening a disappointing third, with $19.2 million.  Scientists suspect a causal relationship between the movies’ poor showings and fact that they sucked balls.  

I don’t always post the weekend box office numbers because, hey, I’m not a business blogger.  But today’s numbers were slightly encouraging, when viewed through the lens of a certain cynical optimism.  Even with $19 million, Fred Claus is well on its way to proving itself a disappointment as well as an embarrassment, and meanwhile, No Country for Old Men was kicking ass in limited release, making $1.2 million on 28 screens for a $42,929 average.

Still, between Jessica Simpson legally blondifying the armed forces on Veterans Day and Ludacris playing an elf, I’ve never viewed an impending Bill O’Reilly boycott with such hope before.  [ComingSoon and Variety]