From Paul Feig, director of Bridesmaids, an Apatow movie with chicks instead of dudes that was somehow hailed as the first time women had ever been funny (not that I should have to cite examples here, but Baby Mama came three years earlier and was better), comes The Heat, starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. They each play over-the-top, cop-movie caricatures, with Bullock as the tight-ass Joe Friday (they even call her a “tight ass” in the voice over) and McCarthy as the brash, slovenly Jack Black. She’s neat! She’s a slob! Familiar jokes! Is this equality? Where women get to do all the lame hacky crap we’re already tired of guys doing? I’m all for fairness, but there are better ways.

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I miss Dennis Hopper.

Sandra Bullock is putting aside changin’ peoples’ lahves to return to comedy for The Heat, as she’ll display her girl-next-door charm that she previously showed off in laughers like Miss Congeniality and The Net. Co-starring Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) and directed by Paul Feig (also Bridesmaids), The Heat is about a no-nonsense FBI agent who teams up with a goofball Boston cop to bring down the Russian mob.

But in a twist of 18-year old irony that left bloggers scrambling for Speed quotes, a production truck was struck by an MBTA bus during filming at Roxbury District Court on Monday. Fortunately, America’s sweetheart was in another building, away from the damage. Oh, and Bullock was safe, too.

Deborah Simmrin, unit publicist for “The Heat,” said the stars of the cop-buddy flick, Bullock and “Bridesmaids” funnygal Melissa McCarthy, were in a building across the street when the crash occurred.

Simmrin said the driver of the truck suffered minor injuries but returned to work after the accident. She said the crew hadn’t checked to see if any equipment was damaged.

“We just continued working,” she said. (Via the Boston Herald)

Brave. That’s what I call that. In all, a reported 11 people had to be taken to the hospital for treatment, but nobody was seriously harmed. The Herald also points out that Bullock is no stranger to accidents while filming, as she and then-husband Jesse James were hit by a drunk driver while she was filming The Proposal. Bullock and James weren’t seriously harmed in that accident, which the actress probably referred to as a relief then but a shame now.

With that, I think it’s time to revisit what I just assume was the winner of the Best Original Song at the 1995 Academy Awards…

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The Amazing Spider-Man opens July 3rd, with Sony promising it will tell “the untold story” of Spider Man, which will totally be different than the origin story they already told in Spider-Man and has nothing to do with Sony not wanting the rights to revert to Marvel, we swear you guys, like seriously. Sony also hired new writers for the sequel to rewrite a draft by current writer James Vanderbilt, which doesn’t seem like a huge vote of confidence before the first movie has even come out, but that’s neither here nor there. As for the current product, it seems Freaks and Geeks creator/Bridesmaids director Paul Feig got to contribute:

“I’m looking forward to The Amazing Spider-Man,” Feig told Vulture last night at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of Take This Waltz. In fact, Feig is such a good friend of that film’s director, Marc Webb, that he even did a little previously unrevealed punch-up work for it: “He’s a great guy, he invited me on set, and I did a little bit of writing for that movie, for one of the high school scenes, so I’m excited.” [Vulture]

Feig declined to reveal further the nature of the scene in question, but my sources tell me it features Peter Parker eating some bad Indian food and shitting up his Spider-Man suit. He really has a knack for those “embarrassing high school moments!”

Bridesmaids earned $288 million on a $32 million budget this past year, long-overdue vindication for our decision to give women the right to vote. And when you make that much money on a comedy, people expect you to make a sequel. Hell, Mike Myers is still trying to make Austin Powers 4, and Austin Powers is older than my last three girlfriends. So what do you say, Kristin Wiig? Will we get  Meet your Fockers someday?

The mystery is why Universal has made so little progress on launching a Bridesmaids 2 — and why the star of the film is refusing to do a reprise. “We aren’t working on that,” Wiig, who co-wrote the film with Annie Mumolo, tells The Hollywood Reporter. “Annie and I aren’t planning a sequel. We are writing something else.”
With Wiig balking [my cousin went to juvie for Wiig balking -Ed.], Universal chief Ron Meyer took her to dinner in New York to see whether he could change her mind. He likely dangled an eight-figure payday before her, but the 38-year-old star held firm.

Yes, her not wanting to do a sequel is a mystery, alright. I bet when those studio execs smelled integrity, they all pointed at her and shrieked like body snatchers.

BUT WAIT! There must be a better explanation for this easily-explainable decision!

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Bloimey, Guv, it seems dat oy am unabew to close moy lips.

When Bridesmaids opened a few months ago, not only was it a huge success (

The film-maker is in the early stages of discussions about getting Bridget Jones back into her outsized pants for a third instalment. [and I think I know a little something about getting into outsized pants. -Ed.]
Paul Feig, who told me he’s ‘beyond keen’ [a phrase Americans ALWAYS use... ]to make a movie in London, is in the middle of very complex negotiations about making Bridget 3.
The status of the film at the moment is purely rumour because no deals involving Feig — or the film’s stars Renee, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant — have been sorted out.
I was told that the film-maker, the actors and the studios (Working Title and Focus) are close to agreement on important matters relating to the film, but not close enough for anyone to sign on a dotted line.
Helen Fielding, who created the Bridget Jones’s Diary column in a national newspaper, has written a script for Bridget Jones 3 that features her heroine hoping to become pregnant. [DailyMail]

Well at least that Colin Firth might finally get some work. Bridget Jones Diarrhea, I suppose would be the working title.