Look, we’ve all been there: you’re sitting there watching a mediocre movie, let’s say Spider-Man 3, and on screen, emo Peter Parker is in the midst of shoving Mary Jane down on the floor. The theater is respectfully silent, until a drunk dude in the back says, “Awww, sh*t,” and the entire theater explodes in laughter. Yes, that was something I witnessed, and it was instances such as these, when the audience became the show, that prompted me to ask some of my favorite writers and comedians to share their stories of times when the theater where they were watching a film became far more entertaining than the film itself.

This week’s panel includes some of your old Uproxx pals, as well as Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker from Sh*t My Dad Says/I Suck At Girls/Cougar Town, XOJane Columnist and Twitter’s BoobsRadley Julieanne Smolinski, comedian Jamie Lee, who was just on Conan a few months back, So Close to You author Rachel Carter, and my favorite San Francisco comedians and former Frotcast guests, Alison Stevenson and Leslie Small. Don’t blame any of them for the cutesy chapter headings though, I wrote those. Enjoy!

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Folks, we had extremely high hopes for this 81st Frotcast, commemorating a full calendar year of Frotcasting. We had:

• New Koi Calls (that’s when we leave prank messages to a local koi merchant), the Frotcast’s most popular segment (5-minute mark)

• Burnsy’s best of the year, including best reality show contestant (pictured), best movie line of the year, best sign of the apocalypse, and best song of the year (guess).(17 minutes) Brendan also does both his Chris Berman and Jon Gruden impressions. (32 minutes)

• Patrick Schumacker regales us with his top 10 Match.com headlines of the year (38 minutes), such as “She flies with her own wings.”

• ShitMyDadSays’s Justin Halpern gives us his top 10 things he overheard from the all-women’s halfway house across the street from his house (53 minutes), such as “Is this where you throw your c*nts, bitch?”

After that, Joe King gave us his pitches for fictional movies, Lindy West ran down the year in monkey attacks, and Laremy explained his top 10 things he cooked. It was really funny, and this was supposed to be a two-part, super Frotcast. UNFORTUNATELY, Garage Band took a dump on us, and the second part of this Frotcast was forever lost to history. It’s… really depressing, actually. But there’s not a lot I can do about it now. Apologies to Lindy, Joe, and Laremy, hopefully we can try it again soon.

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES.

(Tech Note: This week we’ve got a much smaller file for faster downloadin’)

This week on the Frotcast, we have Patrick Schumacker and Justin Halpern from Sh*t My Dad Says back on to talk about their process, their most hateful reviews, and of course, what it was like directing Kimbo Slice in low-budge video productions (SH*T MY DAD SAYS, THURSDAYS AT 8:30 ON CBS).  Other topics include slam poetry (13 minutes in), and the Four Loko controversy (beginning).  Sh*t My Dad Says interview starts at 25 minutes in.  Also: we discover sound effects.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.  And at 1:03, Justin and I talk about our dads being angry atheists who seem to take a certain amount of perverse glee in telling us that there’s no afterlife.

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This week’s intro song is “Totally Snake” courtesy of the band Totally Snake.  I’ll be honest, I think it kinda rocks.

On this week’s Frotcast, the plan was to talk to Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker, the creative team behind CBS’ upcoming show Sh*t My Dad Says, based on Halpern’s best-selling book and Twitter account,  and then review The Other Guys and talk movie news and UFC.  Our interview went longer than expected, so we decided to post it now and save the rest for later in the week.  We discuss many things, I ask them your insulting questions from Facebook and Twitter, and we find out:

• What Shatner is like — will there be a Sh*t The Shat Says DVD feature?
• What it’s like to fire the actor playing you
• How life writing a TV show is different from blogging (Justin once wrote for HolyTaco and Schumacker was the head writer for ScreenJunkies before the show came along).
• Which celebrities Justin has farted on and how his legendary flatulence compares to mine.  (Airbenders recognize our own, but there can be only one).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.  If not, be sure to insult my intelligence, family, and entire way of life.  (Interview starts at -55:30 of the streaming file)

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