(Sorry the picture wasn’t more related, Kermit Bale gets me every time)

Poor Tom Cruise can’t seem to buy good publicity these days, but that tends to happen when you’re a total weirdo.  The latest hit is an interview with American Psycho director Mary Harron, and it’s really interesting to hear her talk about her latest projects tell us what we already sort of knew about Tom Cruise.  From Blackbook Magazine [via Videogum]:

How did you and Christian Bale develop his character in American Psycho?
It was definitely a process. We talked a lot, but he was in L.A. and I was in New York. We didn’t actually meet in person a lot, just talked on the phone. We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.

I can see that.  Especially in that one scene where Christian Bale was all, “I like to dissect girls, as long as there are no gay people there.“  By the way, I’m nominating “as long as there are no gays” for the newest meme.  “Hey, Bob, what do you say to happy hour?”  “I’m in, as long as no gays are in there!  You know me, I love to party, as long there’s no gays around!  I’ll give a you call the next time no gays are in the room.”  “Right on, man, keep f-ckin that chicken.”

This is the awesomest guy in the world. If this guy had worked in Patrick Bateman’s office in American Psycho, Bateman would’ve killed him immediately. Or at least he would’ve tried, but this guy would’ve used his card as a shield and scared Bateman back into the corner with his awesome hair.

-”It took me 25 years to design this.”
-”Yeah, it IS expensive. It’s about FOUR DOLLARS A CARD. Because of the STOCK.”
-”It doesn’t fit in a rolodex, because it doesn’t BELONG. In. A rolodex.”
-”It’s the kind of thing where your card should be SO GOOD, EVEN IF they DON’T LIKE YOU, they wouldn’t throw it out. Because it demonstrates INCREDIBLE. MARKETING. ABILITIES.”
-”Life isn’t about being liked, it’s about being EFFECTIVE.”

Long story short, your business card is lazy and impotent like the rest of the sheep. This guy’s business card leaves particles of your business card in its wind. Real business cards don’t have job titles. They go home and F the prom queen. Wait a second, does your truck have a step? I can’t even look at you.

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