Party Dog wants in too, don't bogart the bitches

Todd Phillips is a busy man.  In between gangbangs, Deadline today reports that after he finishes post production on his Robert Downey-Zach Galifianakis road comedy, Due Date, but before he starts directing his Hangover sequel, Phillips will be producing a secret, “raunchy, hard-R comedy” from British commercial director Nima Nourizadeh, with a $12 million budget and a cast of unknown college girls. Er, kids.  Unlike Judd Apatow, Phillips has produced only one film he didn’t direct in the past, an adaptation of All the King’s Men in 2006.

Nima Nourizadeh will be making his feature directing debut, and Phillips will be the producer and creative godfather.   The real title and the concept are being kept secret–all I can get is that it’s an outrageous high concept–and the filmmakers won’t be distributing full scripts, only watermarked pages to prospective college-aged cast. But the most intriguing part is that the filmmakers are intent that every actor cast in the film will be losing their screen virginity on the project.

“Project X” will begin production June 14 in Los Angeles.  Phillips intends to be a hands-on producing presence during the shoot. The screenplay was written by Matt Drake from treatment by Michael Bacall [Scott Pilgrim]. Nourizadeh got the job over several up and coming directors because of his reel [a couple videos after the jump] and his take on the material. [Deadline]

People seem to be making a big deal about the $12 million budget, but that’s not really low at all considering it’s a comedy with a cast of unknowns. I like this idea a lot better than taking a funny script and then trying to rewrite it to give Cameron Diaz a bigger part.  Plus, I’m really looking forward to seeing these college kids get violated by a screen.  I don’t even understand the logistics of that, but it sounds awesome.

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(Sure, Party Dog goes to male strip clubs. It’s a great place to meet horny bitches.)

Channing Tatum was recently off promoting his latest movie, Mumbles the Wigger, when the interviewer asked him about that stripper video of his that’s been floating around.  Much as I love ripping on the guy, he was actually pretty cool about it.

“It’s absolutely true,” Tatum, now 29, laughs. “I did it for almost a year. I’ve lived a crazy life, for sure.
“It seemed like a fun thing to do at the time and I got out unscathed. It’s nothing I’m ashamed of and I’m not proud of it either. I wanted to talk about it in the beginning of my career but my publicist wouldn’t let me.”
Tatum says he has so much material that could be used as background, he plans to make a film about a male stripper.
“I’ve already got the director picked out. I’d like Nicolas Refn, who did the movie Bronson, to do it because he’s insane for it,” he says.
“It needs to be a crazy film and I think it’s also possible to do a cute, romantic movie.”  [SydneyMorningHerald]

In all seriousness, that sounds like a way better idea than anything he’s been in so far.  I like the semi-autobiographical angle, like Funny People with guys swinging their wieners around or whatever male strippers do. Imagine the drama when the aging veteran top-dog male stripper becomes threatened by the brash newcomer with all the slick moves.  “You’re not fit to wash my cock pouch!” I imagine him yelling.  But then maybe later they find out that they’re not so different after all.

Movie news can get a little slow at times.  Luckily, movie olds is a bottomless well of hilarity – and dog movies! Long story short, that’s why we have the Forgotten Classics segment.

As you may have noticed, Forgotten Classics skews heavily in favor of dog movies, but 1991′s Bingo may be the best one yet.  The Washington Post calls him “a bona fide star, sort of a canine Macauley Culkin.”  Seriously, they did!  In the trailer, Bingo proves that he can:

• Get busted for DUI
• Pick up on bitches
• Hammer beers in his dog house
• Drive a truck
• Wave at other dogs with his paw
• Get involved in a prison riot
• Get the drop on a grizzly bear
• Snort coke with a clown
• Skateboard
• Testify in a court of law

And most importantly, he can cover his face with his paws.  Dog-covering-his-face-with-paws is like the money shot of a dog movie, only more satisfying.  I’m pretty sure Bingo is the long lost cousin of Birthday Dog and Party Dog.  Party Dog knows where the bitches at, yo.

When a movie site reports something without naming a source or explaining how they got their information in any way, it’s usually bogus.  But hey, it’s Friday, I’ll indulge them.  Australian site moviehole reports that a remake of Teen Wolf is in “early development.”  Isn’t the Twilight sequel already doing the Teen Wolf thing?  Only instead of a metaphor for puberty, it’s a parable about the dangers of sex, and minorities?

Warner Bros (who snagged the rights to the film series about five or six years ago) are currently out to writers, looking for the craftiest reinterpretation of Rod Daniels’ 1985 hit. They’re not quite certain ”which way they’re going to go” – Me, I say go with ‘Son of Teen Wolf’! – but I’d say it’s pretty safe that whatever and whoever’s script they go with will again tell the story of Scott Howard and his pesky hair prob. Not expecting anything too original here. But then, it’s “Teen Wolf” – no need for too big or audacious an idea.

Call me crazy, but I don’t hate this idea.  The protagonists of today’s teen movies all seem to be goth weirdos or jazz-handed pansies.  A character like Teen Wolf is exactly what we’re missing.  You think they had abstinence rings back in 1985?  No.  That was called being a loser. It’s about time we brought back the concept of a hero who takes being a party animal to it’s logical literal conclusion.  And the way I see it, we’ve got two perfect models for the modern Teen Wolf.

Not to mention Chubby.

• Public Enemies, the Old Timey Version.  M’yeah, see?  Needs more Felix the Cat. |ScreenJunkies|
• Things to do for Star Wars Day.  Me, I got a tribal tat and listened to techno in my car.  I like to mix stereotypes. |HolyTaco|
• And speaking of Star Wars Day, here’s Star Wars Day with the Pawtucket Red Sox. I think that’s Jimmy Fallon as Han Solo. |RedSoxMonster|
• “Hands-on Preview” of the Terminator Salvation game. Which is nice beause the girls usually get uptight when I ask for a hand-on preview these days. |G4TV|
• “My Life as a Sitcom.” It’s like an internet video, but British. |Atom|
• The Seven Least Intimidating Gangs on the Internet. |NextRound|
• This dog likes to salsa dance.  Because he’s Mexican, get it?  |CollegeHumor|
• Every pop song is four chords repeated. |LudditeAndroid|
• Here’s Baby Goose’s Blue Valentine co-star going full wheelchair. |DailyFill|
• Summer Movie Preview.  |BullzEye|

Party Dog pic courtesy of EverydayshouldbeSaturday. Sometimes Birthday Dog turns into Party Dog if he drinks too much.