New Parry Gripp songs are the highlight of my existence.  This new one’s only 51 seconds, though I wish it would go on for hours.  So basically it’s like sex.  It makes me want to run around the apartment rubbing my wiener on stuff.  In related news, my dog hates this song.

Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• 8 Epic John Woo Fight Scenes.  Or if you’re like me, 8 examples of John Woo being tremendously overrated.  Slow motion doesn’t make stuff less cheesy.  But trying telling that to Troy Duffy. |UnrealityMag|
• Compilation of people faceplanting on bikes. It’s funny ’cause they hurt their face. |HolyTaco|
• Roger Ebert reviews a porno. “There is an ugly scene in Squirt In My Gape 3 that I want to tell you about.” |ScreenJunkies|
• NBA to sell ad space on practice jerseys.  Someone should negotiate for the rights to name future illegitimate children.  Aw crap, Nike got suspended again. |HoopDoctors|
• Atom’s Comic Con Round up.  Coincidentally, Comic Con Roundup is what I spray on my lawn to keep it free of nerd grass.  |Atom|
• No comment on this headline: “Sony is aware of fat princess issues.” |G4|
• The decade’s best villains.  Totally agree on Bill the Butcher.  Amazing that guy who seems like such a Nancy in real life can play such badass badasses.  It almost makes you want to not beat up a theater kid.  |Fansided|
• This girl is really really flexible.  They should make a movie about her.  A buddy comedy starring her and five black dudes, say. |CollegeHumor|
• “Nougatory Rape” and Snickers’ edgy new ad campaign. |NextRound|

Parry Gripp wrote a song called “Video Game Girl” with a video starring Olivia Munn in honor of Attack of the Show’s 1000th episode.  Parry Gripp. Olivia Munn.  I have a boner right now, but if I’m honest, I’m not exactly sure who it’s for. [via G4]

Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• An extended interview with Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter.  *extended metal fingers*  |ScreenJunkies|
• Kids with beer, a picture gallery.  Hey, who let you into one of my house parties? |HolyTaco|
• In honor of all the celebrity deaths… pictures of monkeys doing it?  |Atom|
• Austria is boycotting Brüno.  Which means it must actually be playing there, so… good for them. |DailyFill|
• Hey, I think this chick dancing on a desk is going to fall.  Isn’t she?  Waaaaaait for it… |on205th|
• Magic Johnson and Kobe Bryant’s speech at the Michael Jackson memorial. Why were they speaking there?  Because it was a f-cking circus, that’s why.  Oh, and because Michael Jackson made Magic a better point guard.  |HoopDoctors|
• Michael Jackson: a fashion perspective.  (I don’t know either). |TSBMag|
• A collection of nerdy tattoos. |CollegeHumor|

This one’s called “Fuzzy Fuzzy Cute Cute,” and it comes from the same guy as “Hamster on a Piano” and “Cat Flushing a Toilet.”  I don’t know how it took me so long to figure this out, but they’re all written by Parry Gripp, the guy from Nerf Herder - a band whose songs include “Fight for Your Right to Masturbate” and “I’ve Got a Boner for Christmas”, and who I’ve been listening to way longer than any of you, you f*ckin poseurs.

Pac Man in real life. I like how they keep splicing in footage from the video game, in case you didn’t get the reference. [CollegeHumor]

Bruno gets an R rating.  See you idiots?  Didn’t Nikki Finke tell you this would happen all along? From now on, just shut up and listen to what she says, she’s the smartest person in the world, you know.  [NikkeFinke]

The Ultimate Butter Face Test.  I think I’ve played this before.  To pass it, you have to drink four beers. [HolyTaco]

New Harry Potter trailer.  I would’ve posted it here, but I’m sick of summarizing the plot. [ScreenJunkies]

Teaser Trailer for $quid.  The main character owes money to a giant squid, you see. [QuietEarth]

New set pic from The Rum Diary. [LiveforFilm]

Official 500 Days of Summer poster.  Tons of pictures of Zooey Deschanel - not a bad strategy.  Way to steal my Trapper Keeper’s shtick, by the way. [below, via FirstShowing]