I think it makes it funnier that I don’t know what type of animal this is.  [BlameAspartame]

MORNING LINKS

• Were you aware? Christmas season is also robbery season. |Uproxx|
• The Top TV Nude Scenes of 2010. |WarmingGlow|
• The first person cured of HIV.  Looks like I won’t be needing THESE anymore. (*throws condoms at hooker*) |GammaSquad|
• Tripping New York Jets coach suspended indefinitely.  Whatever, you ain’t cheatin you ain’t tryin. |WithLeather|
• Awesome preview of Tim & Eric’s Chrimbus Special. |AdultSwim|
• Cops can’t arrest BASE jumpers, man, they’re TOO RADICAL. |NYCBarstool|
• Seven valuable lessons from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. |TheSmokingJacket|
• The ultimate John Cena fan video. |TheDailyWhat|
• 11 disturbing Sims videos. |HolyTaco|
• Top 10 Most Viewed RealTalkNY Exclusive Videos For 2010 |RealTalkNY|
• Real Housewife threatens world with Kelsey Grammar sex tape. I heard it’s full of tossed salads and scrambled eggs. |ScreenJunkies|
• The 10 crappiest box office hits of 2010. |Pajiba|

Finally, here’s a cockatoo singing “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor”.

Read the rest of this entry »

From my latest Uproxx post

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Do parrots really give your character more depth? I test the Mickey Rourke Hypothesis in my latest Uproxx piece.  |Uproxx|
• Ever seen what happens when white girls try to slam dunk?  Trust me, you want to watch this. |WithLeather|
• Check out Star Wars, in 4D!  If you dare.  So far, the only one to handle 4D is your mom. Boosh. |GammaSquad|
• Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Seth Meyers play charades. |WarmingGlow|
• Attack of the Show’s review of the iPad. |G4|
• People walking into glass doors: a compilation. |Urlesque|
• The 10 best lawyers in movies. |InsideMovies|
• 14 Terrible Action Movies. |CollegeHumor|
• RIP Dixie Carter. |Pajiba|
• Ashley Green cast in Butter.  Heh. |ScreenJunkies|
• 25 awesome miniature golf courses. |HolyTaco|

Sad Walrus doesn't have a date to the prom. ;-{=

via FayeDaniels

This news comes from Variety.  The best part is, this is the article in its entirety:

Rachel Nichols (“Star Trek”) has joined the cast of “The Loop.” Nichols plays Fiona, a librarian who joins a highway patrolman to uncover the mysteries behind the cryptic sayings spoken by an ancient parrot. Nichols was most recently seen in “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.”

Okay I lied, the best part was actually definitely the thing about the parrot.  So it’s basically like National Treasure, except this time, instead of a map on the back of the Declaration of Independence, a parrot.  National Treasure: Bird of Secrets.  No word on who’ll play the highway patrolman, but is it just me, or is this role absolutely screaming for Nic Cage?  “What is it, bird?  WHAT IS IT, BIRD!? WHATISITBIRD WHATISITBIRD WHATISITBIRD?!?”  See also: “THE BEAK! NO, NOT THE BEAK!! AAUGGH IT’S IN MY EYES!!”

In barely related but awesome news, there’s a death metal band called Hatebeak with a parrot for a lead singer:

Read the rest of this entry »

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Mickey Rourke walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.  Bartender says, “Whoa, where’d you get that?” Parrot says, “Rawk! Passed out behind an Arby’s.”

(fock’n ‘ell, is dat ‘oo oy fink it is?)

[d-listed]