“Yooooooooou arrrrrrrrren’t funnnnnnnnnny…”

When the original Scary Movie opened on July 7, 2000, it earned a very respectable weekend total of $42 million in the thick of the summer movie season, on its way to a lifetime gross of more than $157 million. Unfortunately, the sequel and second collaboration between the Wayans Brothers and Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg didn’t fare as well, earning just $20 million on its opening weekend and about $71 million overall. So when it came time for the third installment, Dimension wised up and pushed the release back to October.

The studio also pushed out the Wayans brothers and brought in David Zucker, Charlie Sheen and Simon Rex, while allowing Seltzer-Freebird to stay on as the writers, and Marlon Wayans has been pissed off about that to this day. Back in January, Marlon told TMZ that he wipes his ass with Scary Movie residual checks, and he also told Hitflix that Scary Movie 5 looks like an episode of Celebrity Rehab, which, to be fair, is accurate.

But Marlon’s angst toward his old franchise also stems from his belief that “there’s an art to comedy” and he is correct. So then why the hell is he making A Haunted House 2?

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Disney’s Oscar-winning short, Paperman, not to be confused with The Paperboy, that movie where Nicole Kidman peed on Zac Efron, was a magical realist romp that simultaneously warmed hearts and failed almost every test of basic logic (not that it wasn’t still enjoyable). As our own Xander Crews described it, “So, uh, I think I just got fired. Also, these paper airplanes really want us to bone. Also, if we were going to buildings directly across the street from each other, why were we taking different trains?”

And now CollegeHumor has put together a little video that’s basically gives Paperman the old-school Tarantino-style retelling  from the point of view of all those magical paper airplanes. Not to give too much away, but I could see Sony commissioning a feature-length version of this under the title “Bad Paper.” Also, CollegeHumor, did you guys really just do two minutes of traditional animation for a threesome joke? Jesus, man. Maybe relax and throw up a cat photoshop or two. You’re really throwing off the internet humor curve.

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Probably the easiest criticism of Seth MacFarlane’s “sexist” “Why couldn’t the song have been about men?

To that end, flowy-locked New York software developer Kevin Gisi has released his own gender-swapped version of “We Saw Your Boobs,” called “We Saw Your Junk.” If I had one criticism of this, it’s that he doesn’t use Harvey Keitel for the breakdown. Come on! If ever there was a male Kate Winslet, it’s Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel’s penis has been in The Piano (which he mentions), Bad Lieutenant, and Ulysses’ Gaze, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure Harvey Keitel’s penis has been a bunch of places, places I can’t even imagine.

If I had a second criticism of this, it would be WHY ISN’T A WOMYN SINGING IT, HUH? Is it because Kevin Gisi doesn’t think women are funny? Is it because he thinks women can’t sing? Oh yeah, nice one, dude, I guess you’ve never heard of Taylor Swift or Aretha Franklin. If a woman sang this, YouTube would probably only pay her 70% of a man’s ad-sharing, because that’s the world we live in. That’s the reality. Kevin Gisi is probably some jock redneck who thinks women should just stay in the kitchen baking and popping out babies and not singing, and it’s just such typical bullshit that a white man has co-opted female culture and silenced women of color and stolen the voice of the disenfranchised yet again. I mean look at his hair! What’s that about? Is he mocking women? How is this any different from blackface? This whole video is like cultural rape. At the very least, it’s promoting a culture of cultural rape. Shame on you, Kevin, you bully rapist.

[AV Club]

This video of Darth Vader dubbed with Arnold Schwarzenegger is exactly what it sounds like and twice as funny. This is roughly the 10 millionth Vader dub I’ve seen, and yet… Arnold makes it new again. [via Viral Viral]

MORNING LINKS
Oscar Snubs and Blunders: CALL THE POLICE, MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY! |Film Drunk|

Frotcast 134: Conspiracies and JFK, with Jason Dove |Frotcast|

The Time Rod Stewart Shoved Cocaine Up His Bum, And 6 Other Rock Star Drug Stories |UPROXX|

10 Warner Brothers TV Shows That Netflix Should Add To Instant Watch Immediately |Warming Glow|

Nick Nolte showed up to the Gangster Squad premiere in a yellow robe. And why not? It’s great for hiding piss stains. |DailyMail|

Spencer Pratt’s Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Trainer Is On This Season’s ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ |With Leather|

Comic Book Movies Really Got Shafted At The Oscars This Year |Gamma Squad|

The Many Realities Of Matt Ryan |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

As long as there’s clothing, girls will tug on it |theChive|

14 Oscar Contenders In The Roles They Weren’t Nominated For |Buzzfeed|

Noah Cyrus’ 13th Birthday Party Looks Appropriate |The Superficial|

The 20 Worst Golden Globe Nominations of All Time |Film.com|

The Perfect Crime: Dress Up As Smurfs And Cause Crimes |Videogum|

The Criminal Lives of 5 Classical Musicians |Mental Floss|

Honest Titles for 2013′s Oscar Nominated Movies |College Humor|

We Were All Female |Clip Nation|

Lady Boner Killers: 8 Of Your Favorite Actors In Their Sh*td*ckiest Roles |Pajiba|

A.J. McCarron Is Mad That Katherine Webb Is More Famous Than Him |IDLYITW|

Now THIS is a supergroup. Thanks, Dave Grohl |Fark|

5 Things You Didn’t Know About the Man with the World’s Biggest Penis |Brobible|

Quentin Tarantino Unchained: The N-Word Supercut |High Definite|

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Since being posted on YouTube back in July and gradually taking the world by storm over the past several months, Korean pop superstar Psy’s “Gangnam Style” video has been viewed more than 614 million times. At the same time, it has developed into one of the greatest Internet memes of the past decade with everyone from the Oregon Duck to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad performing the dance. Yeah, we might not have video of proof of Mahmoud dancing, but you know he loves it.

That said, every meme has its day when someone posts yet another parody and the world collectively shouts, “ENOUGH!” I’m here to say that day has come for Gangnam Style (especially since Glee is doing it next), but not before we milk one more parody for all that it’s worth. YouTube user “wekejay”, who previously gave us the Carly Rae Jepsen parody “Batman Maybe”, recently posted “David LoPan Style”, which is obviously a tribute to Big Trouble in Little China in the form of a Gangnam Style parody.

And because Big Trouble in Little China is the greatest movie ever made, and especially because Vince hates it, we’ve got room for one more parody.

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