I keep referring to Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez in Spring Breakers as “Disney princesses,’ but what this video presupposes is, what Spring Breakers starred actual Disney princesses? “Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter” FTW. |CollegeHumor|

Morning Links
Spring Breakers’ Director Harmony Korine’s Contentious, Hilarious Reddit AMA |UPROXX|

Replace The Fun. Song With Score From ‘Requiem For A Dream, Southwest Ad Becomes Evil |Warming Glow|

Phil Mickelson Does Not Enjoy Your Dumbass Questions |With Leather|

There’s A New ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Game On The Way. It Looks Weird. |Gamma Squad|

McDonald’s F*cking Awesome New Burger |Smoking Section|

Hello? This is Dog House. |CoolDogs|

KSK Mock Draft: Naming Peter King’s Website |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Gucci Mane Fell Asleep During Sex Scene |The Superficial|

Watch this child eat a ghost pepper. |Videogum|

The Curse of the Hometown Premium: Why Ed Reed and Brian Urlacher are leaving their longtime homes |Grantland|

Dog photobombs every photo in Craigslist apartment posting |The Chive|

Paul Rudd Is the King of Dating NBC Thursday Night Sitcom Stars |Vulture|

22 Vintage Photos of Animals Acting Like People |Mental Floss|

Ridiculous Karate Knockout |Clip Nation|

If Obama Was On ‘Arrested Development’ |HuffPost Comedy|

The Rich Kids Of Instagram Present: Cars You Will Never Drive |Giant Life|

The 7 Most Distressing Hook-Ups Of TV’s Favorite Will They/Won’t They Couples |Pajiba|

Fun With Game of Thrones Vectors |Unreality|

8 Cutting-Edge Fashions That Are Clearly Just Practical Jokes |Brobible|

Low Winter Sun: Trailer |High Definite|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter.
FAN US at Facebook. SUBSCRIBE to the Frotcast.

The Amazing Spider-Man was basically the same movie as Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, only much worse, yet some people still liked it because of the new cast. That seems weird to me, but Bad Lip Reading is here to bring us all together once again, with a take on Spider-Man that’s basically the best of both worlds – taking that new cast everyone loves and having them say words that are funny and interesting. (“You freestyled about my wooden leg?”) Is it too late to get these guys to direct the sequel?

Jesus, look at that neck. No wonder the kid always wears a scarf.

Don’t take this as invitation to send me every dumb mash-up you see (let’s face it, at least 95% of them are terrible), but I thought this Lincoln parody was pretty good. The Spielberg version opens this weekend, and it paints the Civil War era as a shouty place full of overbearing John Williams music where people often pounded tables and dramatically pointed fingers at each other in casual conversation. What BEARDFACE video presupposes is that our 16th president was actually more of an Oliver Stone creation, who snorted lots of coke and shouted into cell phones. I especially enjoyed its depiction of Confederacy President Jefferson Davis:

Read the rest of this entry »

[via Topless Robot]

MORNING LINKS
Methed-up gas huffer calling herself The Karate Kid tries to bite police
|Film Drunk|

Did you know Phyllis Diller made her stand-up debut at The Purple Onion? Maya Angelou also played there. Man, she had some killer bits. |Events|

Crackpot’s Guide To How The Illuminati Infiltrated Television |Warming Glow|

Predogtor [via icanhazcheezburger]

Meme Watch: McKayla Is Not Impressed |With Leather|

‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Originally Had Buckets Of Bane Backstory |Gamma Squad|

The Don: Nas’ 10 Best Guest Appearances |Smoking Section|

The 10 Best Moments From The First Episode Of ‘Hard Knocks’ |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Stop Whatever You’re Doing And Check Out The First HD Panoramic Pictures
From Mars |UPROXX|

Amy Childs is not new here but should come around more often |IDLYITW|

“Groundhog Day” Explains The Internet |Buzzfeed|

Snoop Gives Life Advice |Holy Taco|

Rumor has it Muse, the reunited Spice Girls and George Michael will
headline Sunday’s Olympics Closing Ceremony |Daily What|

The Stories Behind 15 Albums Named After Numbers, Featuring a Lot of Van
Halen |Mental Floss|

The 10 Most Appalling ‘Honey Boo Boo Child’ Moments |The FW|

Stephen Colbert Destroys FOX News Calling Gabby Douglas’ Olympic Outfit Anti-American |The Superficial|

That book you might have liked which became that film you probably hated
is turning into a TV show you’ll never watch |Fark|

That’s Your Boyfriend: Chill Assassination Attempt Victim |Videogum|

17 (More) Now-Famous People You Didn’t Know Were in Movies You’ve Seen |Pajiba|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter. FAN US on Facebook.

There are far too many supercuts, parodies, and fan-made trailers going around for me to post even a fraction of them (and for the most part, you should thank me), but I consider this parody of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close close to a must-watch. The insanely maudlin-looking movie adaptation of Jonathan Safran Foer’s novel (which has already been accused by some of post-9/11 opportunism) probably ranks just behind War Horse and The Iron Lady in terms of unintentional parody films. (And really, aren’t we tired of these kinds of movies yet?)

Point is, it’s an easy (and deserving) target, but the folks at theDickheads went a clever way with it, re-imagining Tom Hanks’s beloved 9/11 casualty character as a really obnoxious 9/11 conspiracy theorist. Brilliant concept, and spot-on execution. “A plane crashes in an EMPTY FIELD and leaves no trace. ARE WE AT F*CKING HOGWARTS?!”

I love this.

Read the rest of this entry »