“So I says to the guy, I says, Lemme check your oil!”

Opening Everywhere: Promised Land

Already Opened Everywhere: Django Unchained, Les Misérables, Parental Guidance

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince, of course, loved Django Unchained so much that he gave it his “Best Movie of the Year” honor over Magic Mike, which is a joke, because there wasn’t a better movie made than Magic Mike in 2012. Seriously, go watch every movie that was made this year and tell me if any of them were better than Magic Mike. I’ll wait. It’s this or work.

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Red hot after his incendiary performance as this year’s Oscar host, Billy Crystal is on a hype train that’s never derailing. Here he is in Parental Guidance, playing Bette Midler’s husband and Marisa Tomei’s dad, who rolls into town to show these young whipper snappers how the Greatest Generation did things. He’s sick of your cell phones and your coddling parenting and your TSA pat downs and your hippity hop music. Jeez, this is like an Aaron Sorkin script without the politics. TWITTER ROTS YOUR BRAIN, INTERNET GIRL! YA THINK?!

“Grandpa tells lots of jokes that you won’t get. Just laugh.”

Aw, that’s mean.

Ooh, nut shot in the trailer! Nut shot in the trailer!

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