I swear I keep trying to use that 'FUTUREBEARD' picture from The Hunger Games, but FilmDrunk's servers keep putting this Hick pic up instead.

Well hot damn! After one hell of a long dry spell, we’ve finally got some DVDs that’ll make you wet. The biggie this week is The Hunger Games, which considering it’s based on a young adult novel, is really much better than it has any right to be.  Besides Jennifer Lawrence and her curvacious bow, there’s Hick, the delightful little indie flick pictured above, and The Raid: Redemption, that insane looking Indonesian action flick.  Those films alone should be enough to declare this week a winner, but there’s so much more. We’ve got Christian Slater, Val Kilmer, and even Danny DeVito.  There’s an Oscar nominated documentary, lots of films about murderers -both real and fictitious, some people buried alive, and some revolutionary zombies.  All that and also a movie that has such a NSFW trailer, I’m actually a little nervous about sharing it.

The DVDs:
The Hunger Games
Hick
The Raid: Redemption
Assassin’s Bullet
Breathless
Girl Walks Into A Bar
Kill List
Tonight You’re Mine
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
The Snowtown Murders
The A Plate
Coffin
Sophie And Sheba
Juan Of The Dead
Community College
The Life And Death Of A Porno Gang

Can’t guess which flick is about people buried alive? (It’s Coffin.)  Want to know which film has a NSFW trailer? (It’s the one with ‘Porno’ in the title.) Think it might include some bestiality?  (It certainly seems to.)  When you read, do you automatically skip parenthetical asides? (Not if you’re reading this sentence.)  If so, the only way to get answers to those questions is to keep reading on the next page.  If you think reading any more about this week’s DVDs will just result in some unwanted attention from law enforcement (oh, it will; things are gonna get mighty dark) then just mosey on over to the Netflix page by clicking here. Read the rest of this entry »

"Your honor, the only thing I'm guilty of is having a legit mullet."

If you’ve never seen the Paradise Lost documentaries, you need to Netflix them right this second. The short version is, riding high on the Satanism panic of the late 80s and early 90s, town weirdos Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelley and Jason Baldwin were convicted of killing three kids in Memphis in 1994, despite little physical evidence, and a father of one of the victims who seemed suspicious, to say the least. Echols was on death row, Baldwin and Misskelley were serving life terms. That is, until today, when the three were released after 18 years in custody, thanks to some legal appeal I don’t really understand.

Early word from those in the courthouse indicate that all three took an Alford plea, under which the accused do not admit guilt, but acknowledge that the prosecution may have sufficient evidence to convict. [BoingBoing]

The so-called West Memphis Three agreed to a legal maneuver that lets them maintain their innocence while acknowledging prosecutors likely have enough evidence to convict them.
Two of the victims in the 1993 killings were drowned, the third corpse was mutilated, sparking rumors they had been sacrificed in a Satanic ritual.
Echols was sentenced to die; Baldwin and Misskelley received life terms. Misskelley initially confessed, but defense attorneys claim police took advantage of his low IQ. [AP]

I don’t know how you could ever atone for putting guys behind bars for the best year’s of their lives, but I imagine the process will start with a very heartfelt “my bad” letter.

The West Memphis Three is free. And yet the Seven Mary Three are nowhere to be found. Justice can be so… cumbersome.

Read the rest of this entry »

Good news, everyone!  Alex Proyas, director of The Crow and Knowing, among other films, has signed up to direct a Hollywood film adaptation of Paradise Lost, John Milton’s legendary 17th-century English poem about the battle between angels and demons.  Now, personally, I love me nothing more than some 17th-century poetry.  Hell, I practically majored in it at queer school.  Being the cultured intellectual that I am, I’d be interested in a very faithful, very artistic interpretation of the work, featuring costumes and British accents and Kate Winslet.  But I realize that kind of thing is not for everyone.  But you’re in luck, beefcake, because this AIN’T YOUR GRANDPA’S PARADISE LOST!  THIS ONE WILL HAVE AIRPLANES AND P*SSY AND 3D! OOH WAH-AH AH-AH BUKKAKE SQUAD!

The project tells the story of the epic war in heaven between archangels Michael and Lucifer, and will be crafted as an action vehicle that will include aerial warfare, possibly shot in 3D. [Variety]

(*NIC CAGE bursts through the door wearing a ridiculous wig*)  “The Pentagon called me, rogue John Milton scholar Jefferson Davis St. Cloud, because they know I’m the best!  The chairman of the Harvard classics department said I was crazy!  HAHAHAHA– well who’s crazy now?  That’s right, I’VE DISCOVERED A TRANSCRIPT OF LUCIFER’S PLANS ON THE BACK OF THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS!  QUICK, THERE ISN’T MUCH TIME!” (*flies off in personal helicopter*)

^{“Beat it, hippies.  Put on some clothes before I taze your asses.”}

English poet John Milton’s 1674 epic about the fall of man, Paradise Lost, is the source material for two competing film productions.  Oh man, this is gonna be just like Volcano/Dante’s Peak.

Veteran producer Martin Poll has joined with Granite Entertainment and STV Networks to mount an indie version of “Paradise” that has been gestating for nearly four decades and could enter production as early as the summer. If so, it could find itself going up against a competing version of “Paradise” that Legendary Pictures and Vincent Newman Entertainment have been developing [which, as of two years ago, was trying to get Daniel Craig or Heath Ledger for Lucifer. Oops. -Ed]. Poll began pitching a film version of Milton’s epic poem in the late ’60s.

Although he couldn’t interest a studio at the time to make a movie about Satan’s fall from grace, his temptation of Adam and Eve and the first couple’s subsequent banishment from the Garden of Eden, Poll began working with British author and screenwriter John Collier, who wrote a screenplay, which was published in book form in 1973.  In the past year, the project has taken on new life: Poll has teamed with producers Hank McCann, Bob Knotek and Jonas McCord. [THR]

So let’s see… Some chick gets talked into tasting the “forbidden fruit” by a giant snake, and it basically ruins everything forever.  Anyone else get the feeling this whole thing was written by a dude whose girlfriend cheated on him with a guy with a big dick?