*BRAAAAAAH--* wait, what the hell?

Though it mostly involves slogging through misspelled bon mots about loving Jesus and advice on dealing with h8rz, following P Diddy on Twitter will occasionally reward you with a picture like this.  That’s copyright P-Dizzle, son, don’t be infringin’. I still can’t believe this man has convinced grown adults to call him “P-Diddy,” (I’VE CALLED A PRESS CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY LEGAL NAME IS NOW “MC FLIPPETY FLOP”, PLAN ACCORDINGLY) but I digress.  Zach Galifianakis  is the subject of an upcoming Rolling Stone interview, meaning RS finally has something in it worth reading besides Matt Taibbi articles (which are great).  Here’s a few squid tits I mean tidbits I mean squid tits is my new word for tidbits:

The Hangover Part II star – who doesn’t have a publicist or an assistant and still drives his 1998 Subaru – tells Rolling Stone contributing editor Josh Eells that he’s having difficulty getting used to life as a celebrity. “I’m terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me,” Galifianakis says. “I’m a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There’s nothing you can do except make light of it. That’s if I’m in the mood. Sometimes I get superbummed.”

That he’s hilarious and a super-talented actor and comedian was never in question, but I do sometimes wonder if Zach Galifianakis would be insufferable to hang out with. The Mel Gibson-blackball situation makes me question the d-bagginess of everyone in that cast, who otherwise always seemed wildly likable (provided you never watched Brad Cooper’s episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio).

That doesn’t mean he’s going to stop making movies. “They want to do a Hangover III,” he says. “I’m getting fricking phone calls already.” According to what he’s heard, the plot ditches the format of the first two and focuses on his character escaping from a mental institution with help from the wolf pack.

Yay! There’s your upcoming-movie info scoop!  Exciting, right?  God movie blogs suck.

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With movie studios literally optioning gum wrappers from the 50s, the only thing surprising about their plan to make a movie out of Gilligan’s Island is that it took this long.

[from Variety] Warner and Atlas Entertainment have begun development on a feature film based on the iconic CBS sitcom, which originally ran for three seasons between 1964 and 1967. With Brad Copeland (Wild Hogs) penning the screenplay… plans are for a contempo take [I loathe you, Variety writers] on the well-known premise and characters, with the studio and the Schwartzes’ [original producer and family] blessing Copeland’s initial idea for the screenplay.  Producer Charles Roven says he’s hoping to start production as early as next year, but won’t move forward on seeking a director or cast until the script is complete.

Oh boy, I can’t wait to see the Wild Hogs Guy’s “contempo” twist.  My suggestion? Channing Tatum as Gilligan. Aight, look, y’all: firss things firss, we gah be findin areselves some food, son, (*unintelligible mumbling*) nah mean?

And for the Millionaire, you guessed it, P Diddy.  He could even record a remix of the theme song:

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In Get Him to the Greek, Jonah Hill needs Russell Brand to bang Nia Vardalos before midnight when she turns back into a werewolf. Okay, not really. It stars Russell Brand and Jonah Hill in what’s hopefully Laverne & Shirley to Forgetting Sarah Marshall‘s Happy Days (rather than, say, Joey to FSM‘s Friends *shudder*).  FSM director Nick Stoller returns to direct in his second feature, which is good, but he also has writing credits on Fun with Dick and Jane, which scares me, because that movie wasn’t just unfunny, it was like an electromagnetic pulse that knocked out humor in a five-block radius.  

The trailer’s sorta meh. Could go either way.  And I’m still not sold on Russell Brand.  He’s moderately funny, but it seems like he’s gone far not necessarily because he’s amazingly talented, but because he’s reasonably funny and has a schtick.  Like if he was as funny as he is without the eyeliner and the stupid hair and the tight pants and all that bullsh*t, would you really be able to pick him out of 10 other guys at a comedy club?  Doubtful.  I’m not saying he won’t ever win me over, it’s just that when, say, Ricky Gervais came over from England, no one had to tell me about his book and his life and his huge stand up career to keep me from automatically wanting to kick his ass.

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In what I can only assume was CBS’s attempt to create a black hole of monstrous egoes and shitty acting, P Diddy guest starred on CSI: Miami last night, opposite David “The Crimson Fog” Caruso.  Our friends at Videogum put together a nice little mashup after the jump. It proves that everything becomes awesome when you put Won’t Get Fooled Again after it.  Really, it could be anything.

“Ma’am?  Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your baby has cancer.”

[music comes in] YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH…..

“Ma’am?  Did you hear what I just said?”

“Huh?  Sorry, I got a little caught up in the air guitar. “

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Hey, remember how I said all along that this Joaquin Phoenix rap thing felt like a put on?  Do you?  Because I did.  Are you done taking me for granted now, you selfish bastards?  Well hey, guess what:

Following his widely panned three-song debut as a rapper at a Las Vegas nightclub on Jan. 16, two competing theories emerged: Either Phoenix is perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax (with an assist from his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck), or he’s truly lost his marbles. The truth, it seems, is closer to the former. “He said, ‘It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,’” says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.

…with this supposed career reboot he is evidently trying to both lampoon pompous actors and punk the media that covers them. Whatever his motivation or ultimate endgame, don’t expect him to break character anytime soon. “It’s an art project for him,” says a source. “He’s going full out. He probably has told his reps that he’s quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control.” [HollywoodInsider]

I’ve never been to prison so I’m not exactly sure how this “punk” thing works, but if involves helping the punkee make a ton of money, this is a total success. As peformance art, I’m not so sure.  I was under the impression that performance art should involve human excrement.

[Thanks to BDarbs for the tip]