Hey, girl.  Ever been raped by Pikachu?  [via Thatissogay]

DAILY CIRCLE J LINKS:

• If you like lap dances, you’ll love this job at the University of Leeds. |GammaSquad|
• Honestly, I think the poll adding up to 120% is the least offensive part of this thing.  The premise of the poll was asking viewers what they thought about global warming.  Getting info from Fox News is like going in for a biopsy and having the doctor poll random people on the street about whether you have cancer instead.  |WarmingGlow|
• I love this make your own MMA shirt contest¹. |WithLeather|
• An interview with Broken Lizard’s Kevin Heffernan, aka Farva. |Moviefone|
• Lisa Lampanelli celebrates Hannukkah by lighting a Menorah made of black dildos.  For serious.  |Heeb|
• Sapporo makes beer using… SPACE BARLEY!  |FListed|
• Swedish group wants “hymen” changed to “vaginal corona.”  So can I squeeze a lime in it or what?  |Fark|
• How to fire someone in Gotham City. |CollegeHumor|
• DC is rebooting their Superman and Batman comics, which is big news for you huge nerds. |ToplessRobot|
• Bobby Bottle Service auditions for Jersey Shore.  If only they could arrange it so that someone wearing an Ed Hardy hat could get punched in the face in every episode.  I’d watch that. |ScreenJunkies|
• How to tell if your Facebook days are over. |HolyTaco|

And finally, here’s an otter holding a beer:

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America’s sweetheart and noted joy-to-work-with Katherine Heigl has signed up for Life as We Know It, which surprisingly isn’t a Lifetime movie of the week.

Project dates back to 2001, when Revolution bought the spec from scribes Ian Deitchman and Kristin Rusk Robinson. Story follows two unattached adults whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best friends die in an accident and name them as caregivers for their orphaned daughter.  Heigl and her mother Nancy Heigl are exec producing. [Variety]

Just in case you’re an aspiring screenwriter, here are the templates for a Katherine movie:

COMEDY: A wacky circumstance brings two attractive people together.  At first they resist, then they fall in love.

DRAMA: A tragic circumstance forces two attractive people together.  At first they cry, then they struggle, then they fall in love.

Also, another great comedic device is if the main character has to adopt an otter.