Is that logo… a statue on top of a pile of dog poop?

I don’t remember much of the Oscars after the first 10 minutes because of my dumb drinking game rule about trying to drink every time Seth MacFarlane sang a show tune, but I gather there was some controversy? His “I Saw Your Boobs” song didn’t keep him from being invited back by producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, much to the chagrin of the chagrinners, but as of today, MacFarlane has turned down the opportunity (no word on whether he did it in his Stewie voice).

MacFarlane’s decline, via his Twitter, reportedly comes as a result of the ever-interfering “scheduling issues.”

Traumatized critics exhale: I’m unable to do the Oscars again. Tried to make it work schedule-wise, but I need sleep.However, I highly–>

— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) May 20, 2013

–> recommend the job, as Zadan and Meron are two of the most talented producers in the business. My suggestion for host is Joaquin Phoenix.

— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) May 20, 2013

Wait, was that a reference to Joaquin Phoenix’s much-publicized, “I don’t want this carrot” rejection of all things Oscar, or was it an outdated reference to his pants-pooping rap shtick? I would think it’s the first, but that doesn’t seem broad enough for Seth MacFarlane. Hmmm, could you redo this in the form of a cutaway and throw in an Alf reference?

Anyway, Oscars host is a thankless job, and no matter how well you do everyone says you sucked. I was sort of lukewarm on Seth MacFarlane before the Oscars and remained so afterwards. I look at Seth MacFarlane about the same way as I do religion – the less I watch of his shows, the easier it is for me to think he’s an okay dude.

What do you think, Joaquin Phoenix?

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

I was flying back from LA last week and moving all weekend, so the Frotcast didn’t get posted in its normal timely fashion, but better late than never, right? This week (last week, whatever) we brought on SF comedian Leslie Small to sit in for the absent Brendan and called up Laremy Legel, recently returned from DC where he sat in on a session of the Supreme Court. We talk The Oscars and all the Seth MacFarlane and The Onion contraversialiciousness, Laremy tells us about the Supreme Court, and I talk about my trip to LA. A good time was had by all. Huge thanks to any and all who came out to see me at the Improv last week. They laughed hard at font humor, so I assume a bunch of you must’ve been in the audience.

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Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Leslie Small on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook.

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Probably the easiest criticism of Seth MacFarlane’s “sexist” “Why couldn’t the song have been about men?

To that end, flowy-locked New York software developer Kevin Gisi has released his own gender-swapped version of “We Saw Your Boobs,” called “We Saw Your Junk.” If I had one criticism of this, it’s that he doesn’t use Harvey Keitel for the breakdown. Come on! If ever there was a male Kate Winslet, it’s Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel’s penis has been in The Piano (which he mentions), Bad Lieutenant, and Ulysses’ Gaze, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure Harvey Keitel’s penis has been a bunch of places, places I can’t even imagine.

If I had a second criticism of this, it would be WHY ISN’T A WOMYN SINGING IT, HUH? Is it because Kevin Gisi doesn’t think women are funny? Is it because he thinks women can’t sing? Oh yeah, nice one, dude, I guess you’ve never heard of Taylor Swift or Aretha Franklin. If a woman sang this, YouTube would probably only pay her 70% of a man’s ad-sharing, because that’s the world we live in. That’s the reality. Kevin Gisi is probably some jock redneck who thinks women should just stay in the kitchen baking and popping out babies and not singing, and it’s just such typical bullshit that a white man has co-opted female culture and silenced women of color and stolen the voice of the disenfranchised yet again. I mean look at his hair! What’s that about? Is he mocking women? How is this any different from blackface? This whole video is like cultural rape. At the very least, it’s promoting a culture of cultural rape. Shame on you, Kevin, you bully rapist.

[AV Club]

Harvey looks at the guy kicking his seat and briefly considers having him killed

I think Michelle Obama’s great, but even I thought it was weird to have the First Lady as a presenter at the Oscars. But of course, you can’t say that without everyone thinking you’re Rush Limbaugh. Anyway, if you were wondering how it all came about, the short answer is Harvey Weinstein. He probably arranged it with the other Learned Elders of Zion– uh, I mean, his friends.

Michelle Obama presenting best picture from the White House? It was Harvey Weinstein‘s daughter’s idea.
According to Film Academy president Hawk Koch, the plan came from Weinstein and his daughter, Lily. That led to Koch and Oscars producers Craig Zedan and Neil Meron boarding a secret flight to Washington, D.C. two weeks ago.
Once they arrived, they met Weinstein and his daughter, and met with members of the First Lady’s staff to hammer out the details.
The person seen via satellite who handed her the Best Picture envelope Robert Moritz, the chairman of PriceWaterhouse Coopers, who handed over the envelope containing the winner’s name.
Jack Nicholson, who had introduced the First Lady from the Dolby Theatre stage, was holding a second envelope with the winner — in case something went wrong and they lost the connection. [THR]

So basically, Harvey Weinstein’s daughter wanted the President’s wife on the show, and Harvey Weinstein made it so, all with a couple phone calls. I mean why wouldn’t he be able to call in favors from the President? I swear, if that guy wanted an endangered okapi to lick whipped cream off his balls, he could make it happen before he lost his hard on. I imagine Harvey Weinstein’s office to be dark and filled with fog, with a giant hologram of his head floating above the room while an assistant pulls ropes that make fire shoot out of the walls like the Wizard of Oz.

Picture source = cinemafestival / Shutterstock.com

So earlier today, I had this whole post written about how wonderful Jennifer Lawrence’s reaction (above) was to Seth MacFarlane’s “I Saw Your Boobs” song (video below). The pictured reaction came after the line “…and we haven’t seen Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs at all.”

I noticed she was wearing a different dress than when she accepted her award, but I guess I’m dumb because I didn’t put it together that all the reactions to the song had been pre-recorded (a point on which most news outlets seem to agree). That it was pre-recorded makes sense, because I doubt rights issues would allow them to just splice in footage from other awards shows. I thought it was just another example of Jennifer Lawrence being wonderful in my 15th or so post on the subject, but it turns out it was just Jennifer Lawrence acting like Jennifer Lawrence being wonderful. At which she was wonderful. Mea culpa. Charlize Theron and Naomi Watts also played along:

Caryn James of Indiewire paints the live reactions as less rosy:

The live audience did not seem amused. Kathryn Bigelow and Helen Hunt were especially stony-faced.

Though take that with a grain of salt, as it comes in a longer piece about how much James hated MacFarlane as a host. I’m sure there were a couple laughs in there as well.

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