(James Cameron allows only the finest European prostitutes on his yacht)

If KStew and RPattz are making $41 mil just for feigning acid reflux in the last two Twilight movies, it only stands to reason that the guy who wrote, directed and produced the highest-grossing film of all time ($2.7 billion worldwide and counting) would earn a lot more.  Well, you read the headline, didn’t you?  James Cameron’s $350 million take comes 13 years after he earned a reported $97 million for Titanic.  Asked what he plans to do with all that money, he said, somewhat predictably, “Two chicks, man.”

Though Hollywood pay experts tell me that the $350M all-in figure is largely attributable to his directing deal structured as “first dollar” gross or more likely “at cash break” gross.
“But Cameron is making $350 million because the DVD did beyond expectation,” an insider tells me. Indeed, its 2D DVD and Blu-Ray worldwide sales smashed records in all categories. And still to come is the release of its 3D DVD in November.

Forbes magazine about a week ago placed Cameron only #2 on its Celebrity 100 money ranking this year of the richest and most powerful actors, actresses, musicians and other well known showbiz figures. In fact, based on my insiders, Cameron should have been #1 because his $350M far exceeds the $315M which the magazine said top-ranked Oprah Winfrey earned. Forbes underestimated the director’s pay at only $210M. [Deadline]

Say what you will about James Cameron, I think it’s kind of crazy that a guy had to spend 10 years plus developing a movie, including inventing a new kind of 3D camera and creating a fictional language; it went on to become the highest-grossing film of all time, and he only just edged out a chick who goes on TV to talk about sandwiches.  Equal pay for equal work my ass.

I’ve got a big story here, folks.  I mean, we’re talking try-not-to-drop-your-cat-in-your-chocolate big.  What am I talking about?  The stars of Twilight, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, have finally confimed that they’re dating.  It’s like everything I’ve ever written in puffy paint is coming true.  I hope you’re lubed up, John Stamos.

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, and Taylor Lautner all taped an episode for The Oprah Winfrey Show earlier this week, to air May 13.

While some fans were treated to a special screening of Eclipse, the good stuff happened with the cameras weren’t rolling. Like when Rob and Kristen confirmed to Oprah backstage they are in fact dating:

“We were all briefed before the show how to handle the talent,” says our source who works for the Big O. “Part of what we were told was that Rob and Kristen are dating.”

“Obviously Oprah had to ask something during the taping, but agreed beforehand she wouldn’t be too hard on [Rob and Kristen] if they told her what was really going on. Both Rob and Kristen’s people and Summit then confirmed ahead of time [Rob and Kristen] are together and are dating. One hundred percent.” [EOnline]

Life imitates art yet again. You see? I just knew a story would come along to prove how realistic Stephenie Meyer’s stories are.  Knowing these two are really together gives me the strength to dump my boyfriend and hold out for true love, someone who’ll care for me so much that we never have sex and he watches me while I sleep and comforts me with his childish grasp of the English language.  In fact, my sources say that Kristen and Rob are so in love, they just sat there staring at each other looking like they had heartburn for two f*cking hours.

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I still haven’t seen Precious — I’m worried it might hit a little too close to home for me, because back in high school, I had AIDs and two babies and couldn’t read — but reportedly, Mo’Nique gives a powerful performance informed by some of her difficult real-life experiences.  Today, her brother came forward to apologize for molesting her when they were kids. He apologized on Oprah, probably to keep from having to buy one of those “I’m sorry I molested you” Hallmark cards with the sad puppy on the outside.

Gerald Imes told Oprah Winfrey in an appearance on her TV talk show that the abuse began when Mo’Nique was about 7 years old and he was 13, but that he had denied it for decades.

“I’m here today to first acknowledge what I’ve been in denial for 37 years, and that is I did assault and inappropriately touch my sister in manners that were uncomfortable for her,” Imes said. “And for that, I apologize and I’m humbly sorry that those actions had taken place.”

Imes said the fact that he was fuel for Mo’Nique’s performance makes him feel like “a piece of crap.”
He said he has an especially hard time watching the last scene in the movie, in which Mary explains that the reason she hates her daughter is that Precious’ father chose her over Mary.

“That scene was Mo’Nique going to my mother saying, ‘My brother did this to me,’ and my mother asking me, did I do this, and I said no. I saw her pain and my pain right then and there,” Imes said.

Mo’Nique, who has not seen her brother for more than 10 years, declined to appear on the show.  [Yahoo]

Imes’ revelations became all the more shocking when he revealed that he wasn’t even a Catholic priest.  ZING!  …What?  Oh right, I’m not supposed to joke about child molestation and all that.  Jeez, who knew a heart-to-heart interview with a child molester was going to make things all awkward in here.

(This week’s Box-Office Wipe Up brought to you by Roland Emmerich’s evil twin, Rolando Emmerich.)

2012 made $65 million over the weekend, which isn’t surprising considering everyone knew about it.  Though it should be noted that Roland Emmerich’s last movie, The Day After Tomorrow, actually opened bigger at $68.7 million, and I don’t know think I know anyone who saw that movie. Also… aren’t they the same movie?  What’s going on here?

A Christmas Carol dropped only 25% since it’s opening last weekend, leading many to believe it will continue to play into actual Christmas and leaving little hope that Robert Zemeckis will ever abandon this ridiculous motion-capture experiment.  We get it, dude, you like computers.

Precious is tearing it up, thanks to Oprah’s Midas ham hands.  Either that or it’s doing well because the main character is so hot.  Seriously, do any of you have her number?  I want to get all up in her Shar Pei folds.  Just like I did with my Shar Pei.

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When I heard that Chris Rock and Oprah would be working together, my first thought was that Oprah should give him a third of her food, and then maybe they’d both look normal.  No word on that, but their movie will be called Will You be My Black Friend?

The project stems from a November GQ magazine article written by senior correspondent Devin Friedman, who began a self-conscious search for black friends on Craigslist. The white, married Manhattan journalist then pursued his quixotic quest to expand his social circle, with unexpected results. Lionsgate and Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Films are partnering to develop the comedy with Chris Rock starring. [THR]

Wait, so trying to have black friends is “quixotic”?  Do they mean because it’s some old-timey thing that doesn’t happen anymore?  Like, where’s your black friend?  Oh, he’s hanging out in my garage next to the horse carriage and Nash Rambler.   Or maybe they mean because black people are tall and like to swing their arms around like a windmill?  I guess I could see that.  Either way, I think The Hollywood Reporter should change their name to The Hollywood Racist.