By all accounts, Ryan Gosling’s latest film, Only God Forgives, which was directed by Drive’s Nicolas Winding Refn, is extremely violent. And by all accounts, I mean even Gosling’s co-star, Kristin Scott Thomas, doesn’t like how much violence was in the film. So when the film debuted at Cannes earlier this week, it might make sense that the fancier of the top hats and monocles in attendance also wouldn’t like it. And, hoo boy, did they not like it.

“To judge from the boos and whistles after the ‘Only God Forgives’ screening today, I wouldn’t exactly lay odds on a ‘Best Director’ repeat for Refn,” wrote Vulture’s Kyle Buchanan.

“When one character stuck his hand inside a woman’s slashed body, the audience locked and loaded its boos. Gosling doesn’t have much to say in this movie, but the auditorium sure did.” (Via Yahoo! UK)

Booing? At a Baby Goose film? Surely, this has to be the case of a few scoundrels who simply don’t know how to behave in a high class theatre, right?

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If you’re anything like everyone I know, you’re probably already semi-tumescent or pre-ovulating for Only God Forgives, director Nicolas Winding Refn’s follow up to Drive, once again starring everyone’s favorite sweet-smelling Canadian, Ryan Gosling (if not, educate yourself with the trailers here). The Only God Forgives Facebook page recently posted a new behind-the-scenes video, and, well… let me see if I can explain what’s so great about it: Basically, it’s a whole minute of a weirdo Danish guy in a kilt/sarong, earnestly philosophizing about the nature of violence and sex, while an amused Baby Goose makes cute faces at the camera like Jim from The Office while a team of loyal Thai crewmembers scurry around doing their jobs happily like Keebler Elves. There’s just something magical about it. The movie looks great, but I could watch just these two hanging out together for hours.
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“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. LOL, just kidding, girl, everyone likes me always.”

Only God Forgives stars Ryan Gosling, re-teamed with his Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn, and the last trailer I posted showed Baby Goose running around Thailand looking forlorn, challenging guys to fight and dragging an Asian dude around by the roof of his mouth (not very realistic as a fighting strategy, but a hell of an image). Needless to say, I’m already tumescent, to quite tumescent for this film, and watching any additional footage could cause me to literally rupture a boner vein. Nonetheless, for those of you who’ve been living in some kind of shame igloo built from blocks of your own willful ignorance, here’s two new trailers. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do, man, seriously.

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We talk about Ryan Gosling being a sweet boy so often that people probably just think it’s all a big joke. But you can’t ignore the fact that directors who work with him always seem to want to work with him again. There was Derek Cianfrance in Blue Valentine and again for his very next movie in Place Beyond the Pines, and now there’s Nicolas Winding Refn going back-to-back Baby Goose in Drive and now Only God Forgives. I like to imagine these directors work with him, and then Baby Goose goes home and the directors get all sad and lonely, so they secretly take the shirt he wore home from wardrobe and sleep with it, and then they dream about him all night and wake up with the room smelling like butter and maple syrup. It’s Baby Goose magic. He’s like Santa Claus, only cuter.

Only God Forgives is set in Thailand, but other than that it seems to follow the basic Drive formula: brutal violence mixed with Baby Goose looking like a forlorn puppy, and a heavy dose of bleakness offset with sweet and oddly well-matched music. It’s funny, if I try to explain Drive, it mostly sounds like a pretentious hunk of shit – mostly plotless, hardly any dialog, characters that are all weird and broken, wildly implausible crime scenes – and yet the way the scenes are put together, I’m on the edge of my seat giggling and can’t wait for the next one. I don’t know how Refn does it. The possibility for intense, brutal violence mixed with an odd mood and pleasant pacing shouldn’t be that compelling on its own, but damn if it isn’t. Opens July 19th.

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TELL ME WHO DID THIS TO YOU!

It’s going to be a busy year for Baby Goose droppings (I’m sorry) with Gosling toplining Ruben Fleischer’s Gangster Squad this weekend, Place Beyond the Pines from his Blue Valentine director Derek Cianfrance in March, and an untitled Terrence Malick project supposedly in post-production. But he’s also re-united with his Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn in Only God Forgives, about a vigilante roaming the underground muay thai matches and brothels of Bangkok. It seems no director can work with Baby Goose just once. Why, it’s almost as if he’s a human Hershey’s kiss wrapped in rainbows whom no mortal can resist.

Only God Forgives doesn’t have a release date yet, but below you can see the first teaser, which is pretty crappy quality, but does feature a brief blur of Baby Goose kickboxing. I hear he has a black belt in sincere apologies. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to write some indignant letters about why this wasn’t titled “Only Gosling Forgives.”

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