(Bay makes Megan Fox wear a special animatronic shirt that allows more cleavage at the press of a button.)

This story sounds bogus, but we’ll get to that later.  First, the fun part. Reports Jason Solomons of the Guardian:

Talking to Megan Fox who was in town for the Transformers 2 premiere, I found her more forthright and intelligent than her performance in the mega-hit would suggest [funny how staring at a girl's tits can so raise your perception of her intelligence -Ed.]. The role demands that she drapes [sic] herself over motorbikes and runs around in a vest. How did she get the part which has made her what lads’ mags call the “hottest girl on the planet?”  She told me she went to director Michael Bay’s house to audition and he made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her. She said she didn’t know what had happened to that footage. When I put it to Bay himself, he looked suitably abashed. “Er, I don’t know where it is either.”

I sat through all eight mintues of Solomon’s interview with Michael Bay (also in video) to see him ask about the Megan Fox story, and it never came up (though Michael Bay does reveal “I was a magician as a child.”).  Secondly, why would she have to “audition” for a sequel?  The only grain of truth I can find in this is that it’s well known in Hollywood circles that Michael Bay does use the phrase “wash my Ferrari” as a euphemism for oral sex (which he prefers to receive in a freshly-washed Ferrari).

(“Hurrr, we got stoned and went sunglass shopping.”)

I have a hard time believing that there’s any truth to this, especially considering it comes from an Australian tabloid I’ve never heard of.  But according to New Weekly, Krapstew (Twilight stars Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattison) may be expecting a child.

The actress, who discovered she could be expecting last week, was so worried someone would discover her secret she sent a close pal to buy a pregnancy test kit. The couple, who haven’t even gone public with their romance yet, are now facing the toughest challenge to their relationship as they struggle with the news they could be parents.
Kristen first started to suspect she might be expecting when she realized she hadn’t had her period.
“When she worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant” says a pal.  “And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.”

Uh oh, you know what this means: Your old Bella Womb is obsolete!  Ooh, it could become a collector’s item.  Heck, that could be the title of the next Twilight book – New Womb.  New wooooomb/you sloughed your lining alooooone/without a sperm in your cavityyyy… Okay, I’ll stop now.