Here’s Kathryn Bigelow collecting her Oscar for Best Director.  My favorite part was Barbra Streisand inserting herself in the moment as if she’d actually done something.  Imagine if when Peter Jackson had collected his Best Picture for Lord of Rings, Brett Ratner had been onstage to say “This is a victory for fat guys with beards everywhere!”   No it’s not, bitch, you didn’t do anything. Sit your ass back down.

After the jump, Jeff Bridges’ speech after winning Best Actor.  If you had “groovy” in your office’s words-Jeff-Bridges-will-use-upon-winning-Best-Actor pool, you’re a winner.

(And just because, here’s Olivia Munn and Eva Amurri eating chocolate-covered strawberries (via).  Mmm, that’s nice ladies, I got some chocolate-covered strawberries I’d like to feed you.  …Wait, did I just make a scheisse euphemism?  I don’t even know anymore).

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Man, between all the comic book news today and now, Olivia Munn dressed as an alien, you nerds are probably sitting in giant piles of your own sloughed off dick skin by now.  Possibly on beanbag chairs made of it.  Anyway, here’s Olivia Munn and Eva Amurri dressed as Thelma and Louise, and also dressed as Na’avi from Avatar dressed like Thelma and Louise (yeah dude, I don’t know either).  They did it to promote the upcoming “Olivia Munn-der Years” special December 28th on G4.  Eva Amurri is of course Susan Sarandon’s daughter, and most recently played a stripper on Californication. I don’t know what a-hole put so many clothes on her, but legend has it, her breasts were formed from the same shimmering pool of angel tears as Diora Baird’s.  Some even say that on a quiet night, when you unclasp her bra, you can hear the sound of a harp.

I know this means I won’t get to sit at the cool kids table anymore, but I like Tina Fey and Steve Carell.  I love 30 Rock (as long as Kenneth or Judah Friedlander and his stupid effing hats aren’t on screen), I think her writing is spot-on 80% of the time, and Steve Carell is just one of those guys who’d have to try really hard to be unlikable.  So what happens when you put them both in the same movie?  Well, if it’s a Fox movie, it means you get mother-in-law jokes, people hitting their heads, and sound effects lifted from the wacky morning zoo. Oh yeah, it’s called Date Night.  It was directed by Night at the Museum‘s Shawn Levy, who usually makes kids’ movies, but lucky for him Fox execs can’t tell the difference. Oh hey look, they gave Olivia Munn a two-second cameo.  You know, I can think of a few good ways for Olivia Munn to spend a couple seconds.

(*bike horn*)

Our thoughts exactly, Olivia.  [available in HD at Apple]

Olivia Munn is super pretty and her favorite thing to do ever is pander and give nerds boners, so of course she made a video making fun of Twilight. Nerds hate Twilight like they hate direct sunlight.  I actually thought the first part (‘you talk like someone from old history’ – nice) was funnier than the killing part that she’s in.  But regardless, Seltzer-Friedberg are already planning to re-shoot this for their next movie, except with someone playing Amy Winehouse in it for some reason.

And yes, this was all just an elaborate excuse to post my favorite gif in the whole wide world:

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Daily Circle Jerk Links:

Facebook screengrab: Nobody Likes Aimee. |thehighdefinite|

Clip from Patton Oswalt’s new set, ”My Weakness Is Strong. ” |WarmingGlow|

A&E has a new reality series: Steven Seagal: Lawman.  I can’t believe they picked this up instead of the series I was pitching to them, Tony Jaa: Elephant Puncher. |ScreenJunkies|

If you liked Turtle Rape Shoe you’ll love Tortoise Phone Sex with Olivia Munn. |G4|

13 of the Fastest MMA Knockouts Ever |InGameNow|

A five page photo gallery of cleavage, if that’s your thing. |Gunaxin|

Photo gallery of people getting punched in the face, if that’s your thing. |Uncoached|

The 12 Worst Fantasy First-Round Picks Ever.  The best fantasy first-round pick?  Dock Ellis on LSD. |OpenSports|

~ robopanda

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