Back in the 20s and 30s, you didn’t need the crusty old MPAA to tell you your Danish space-docking film was too hot for The Disney Channel.  Instead, local censor boards simply took your film and cut out the frames they thought were naughty.  This is a compilation of just some of those censored images, which gives us a fun look into what our grandparents found offensive and/or hot enough to whack off to.  The scintillation includes but isn’t limited to: bustacious skanks in bathing suits, lingering shots of feet (Tarantino would be proud), and a lady whose dress blows up to reveal, ooh la la, an entire other dress underneath.  Sex-eee.

If anything, this shows just how far we’ve come as a society.  I’m grateful to live in a time where my grandpa is now free to masturbate to whatever he chooses.  Which in his case are mostly Miley Cyrus videos.  He loves that little snaggle-toothed hillbilly.

[via Neatorama]

A woman is suing Sacha Baron Cohen, claiming he started a “brawl” at a bingo hall in 2007 that left her paralyzed below the puffy old-lady fro.  (Okay, I made that last part up).

Richelle Olson has sued Cohen, NBC Universal and others claiming they told her Brüno was a celeb and would appear and call numbers at the charity bingo game she ran for the elderly in Palmdale, CA. Olson was none too happy when she saw Brüno, whom she describes as an “extreme, outrageous, offensive caricature of a gay man dressed in sexually revealing clothing with an Austrian accent…”

Olson alleges Bruno used “vulgar and offensive language” and when she tried taking the mic from him, a “physical struggle ensued” and Cohen “offensively touched, pushed and battered” her, causing her to fall to the ground.

She then claims three cameramen and others rushed the stage … “where defendants attacked [her] for a period of one to five minutes to intentionally create a dramatic emotional response … while [they] recorded her humiliation and embarrassment.”

Aaaaand here’s where I call B.S.  The cameramen filmed themselves attacking a downed old lady?  Doubtful.

After the alleged assault was over, the suit says Olson went into another room where she was “sobbing uncontrollably” … then was rendered unconscious … “falling forward onto the thinly covered concrete slab, passing out and causing her to hit her head.”

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After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for The Way We Get By is a documentary premiering at SXSW about the special relationship between servicemen and a group of old people in Bangor, Maine.

“On call 24/7 for the past six years, three senior citizens have made history by greeting nearly one million U.S. troops at the tiny airport in Maine. Filled with unexpected turns, their uplifting and emotional journey demonstrates the meaning of community at a time when America needs it most.” [IMDB]

It seems the soldiers and the seniors find common ground in that they both have to face death every day. I think this looks pretty good, but then, old people (sweet old people, not grumpy or smelly old people) are my second biggest weakness behind puppies.  Main difference is, old people you gotta feed more often.  Trust me, I’ll never make that mistake again.
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After the jump, watch Funny or Die’s latest PSA about television’s upcoming switch from analog to digital, starring an old lady who looks suspiciously like Johnny Knoxville’s grandma.  It more or less sums up my assumption about the people still watching analog television.  Apparently there are 6.5 million of them.  Strangely, I’ve never met any, nor do I know anyone who has.  Could it be they they share an underground bunker underground with the people seeing Paul Blart: Mall Cop?  You read it here. It must be true.
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Someone on Funny or Die has taken the Gran Torino trailer and recut it to more properly emphasize the growling aspect. Between Eastwood in Gran Torino, Bale in the Dark Knight, and Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen, 2008 could be called The Year of the Growl.  It’s like everyone took the death of Don LaFontaine as an opportunity to audition for his replacement.  But look here, jerks, there will be only one Don LaFontaine, and no matter what you do, I’ll always remember 2008 as the year I finally touched a boob.