As mentioned in the previous post, the New York Film Critics Circle had their awards ceremony this week, and as a three-time former chairman of the circle, our favorite old curmudgeonarion thesaurasaurus Armond White was in the audience. At one point, Michael Moore took the stage to present an award for How to Survive a Plague, at which point White and a friend began to heckle him, shouting “F*ck you!”, which is much less Armond White-like than when he shouted “Ethel Waters!” at Viola Davis last year.

Moore was on hand to present the award for Best First Film to David France, whose feature “How to Survive a Plague” is a salute to ACT UP, the radical protest group whose most notorious action was to send thousands of protesters to St. Patrick’s Cathedral during the Christmas season in 1989. Dozens stormed into the December Mass to disrupt the prayers and desecrate the Host, which Catholics believe is the Body of Christ. A stunned John Cardinal O’Connor looked on in horror. The publicity stunt was denounced by David Dinkins, Mario Cuomo, Ed Koch and the Coalition for Gay and Lesbian Rights.

Moore, saluting the ACT UP film, said the American public was indifferent to the AIDS crisis as it happened and indeed breathed “almost a collective sigh of relief that it [AIDS] was primarily victimizing gay men.” Moore went on to say he liked the film’s reminder that “the Cardinal couldn’t get through Mass at St. Patrick’s.”

Moore stated, “I personally like that one. I say that as a former seminarian.” But White and a friend shouted, “[Bleep] you!” “You liar!” “Shut up!” and “Drop dead!”

Moore responded, “I’ve pissed off the Catholics,” and began a blessing in Latin. He then went on to say that “those who would deify Reagan and Pope John Paul II are responsible for the deaths of thousands of people . . . because of their bigotry.”

You see, in the world of Armond White, Catholicism is almost as sacrosanct as those benefirous priapizians of modern masculinity, Neveldine and Taylor, whose effervesphorescent tours de force in multi-dimensionarious explosiatalitarianism out-patinas the lambency of even Paul WS Anderson and Jack and Jill. As such, a vulgar interloafer like Michael Moore must be punished with the most withering pejoratives in the junior high milieu. Read the rest of this entry »

Unless you’re well versed in obscure celebrity beefs, you might not remember that, as of last March, Human Centipede director Tom Six had planned to sue his star, Dieter Laser, for breach of contract for pulling out of The Human Centipede 3. Laser’s reason? I shit you not, creative disagreements. God only knows what had to be in a script for a guy who played an evil doctor who stitches people’s mouths to their assh*les to object to it, but luckily this story has a happy ending: Laser and Six have made up and will be re-uniting for The Human Centipede 3, the most hotly-anticipated movie about shit eaters since Rock of Ages. I’m told this one will be 500% more medically accurate.

Last March, it was reported that Dutch filmmaker Six, who wrote and directed both 2010′s Human Centipede (First Sequence) and the following year’s The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), was threatening to sue Laser for breach of contract. At the time, Ilona Six — Tom Six’s sister and the co-producer of the Human Centipede series — issued a statement claiming that Laser’s ego had “grown to laughably big proportions,” that the actor had demanded “unacceptable script changes,” and that he had backed out of the project “only seven weeks prior to shooting.”

“Look, all I ask is three things: I don’t want to play that stupid doctor, I don’t want to see any a-to-m scenes, and I get to fight a giant spider in the third act.”

The producer has now confirmed to EW that the lawsuit has been dropped and Laser, who memorably portrayed a deranged surgeon in the first film, will play a lead role in the franchise’s third entry. Laser will not, however, play the same character he did in Human Centipede. According to the producer, Laser and Human Centipede 2 star Laurence R. Harvey are set to play a new, villainous duo “with a storyline no one will expect.” Ilona Six also announced that “a big American celebrity” is set to appear in the film, which will start shooting in the U.S. this May. Finally, the producer confirmed the third film will feature a human centipede of more than 500 people.

That big American celebrity? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

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