It seems the Weiner pun headlines have finally reached the Baba Booey stage of their life cycle, where it wasn’t funny the first thousand times, but now it’s finally starting to come back around to being funny again. Yes, that’s today’s real cover. |NYPost|

MORNING LINKS

RELATED: Here’s a bunch of news anchors all saying “Weiner.” |WarmingGlow|

Meme Watch: The Best Of Hipster Edits [Uproxx]

Jack Donaghy For Mayor And The Best Of Fictional Character Political Posters [Uproxx]

On X-Men, Race Relations & The Elephant In The Room [TSS]

There’s still time to enter the giveaway for Green Lantern Collectible MIMOBOT USB Drives [GammaSquad]

The Best Of The Miss Germany Contest [WithLeather]

‘Game of Thrones’ Has Big Balls [WarmingGlow]

Check out last week’s frotcast, where we say funny things with Brandon Mendelson. This week’s episode is gonna blow your dick off. |Frotcast|

The pug centipede. |Buzzfeed|

Martial arts moves or meth freakouts?  You be the judge. |GorillaMask|

Tom Cruise is looking dapper in his straw fedora and B.U.M. sweatpants. |Videogum|

Tori Spelling crashes car while being chased by paparazzi. I hope that by “paparazzi” she means “bees.” |TheSuperficial|

Lindsay Lohan’s house arrest looks rough. Just the way she likes it. |WWTDD|

Holy Taco’s 2011 commencement speech. |HolyTaco|

Bruce Greenwood discusses his secret role in Super 8. |ScreenJunkies|

Rate this NYC subway brawl. |NYCStool|

A New Type of Illuminati [Unreality]

Bad Medicine: The Most Incompetent TV Doctors [UGO]

Who Wants to Watch Chris Bosh Cry While Heading into the Locker Room? [Brobible]

Prisoner-Themed Band Makes Prisoner-Themed Video for Prisoner-Themed Song [ToplessRobot]

NOMINATE FOR COMMENTS OF THE WEEK HERE.  FAN FILMDRUNK ON FACEBOOK AND WIN A BILLION DOLLARS.

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"CUT!"

Shocking new evidence seems to suggest that New Yorkers can be not only rude, but also impatient.  Oh I know, I was as surprised as you are.

When a New York man was told he’d have to walk around the set of Premium Rush, starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, which was shooting on the Upper West Side over the weekend, he got so angry that he headbutted a production assistant, a move known in the business as the “Busey Hey Buddy.”

“I live here! I pay taxes!” fumed the 6-foot-4, 285-pound Breffny Flynn, 43, who lost his cool at on Broadway at West 102nd Street, on an errand to buy paint for his kid’s bedroom. [10 bucks says he was buying lube for his fleshlight, but as soon as he got caught headbutting a dude, he was all "Eh oh, wassa matta wid dis prick, I'm tryna buy paint fa my kid's bedroom ova heah. -Ed.]
Flynn went ballistic when production assistant Steve Lafferty told him he had to wait a few minutes to cross the street.
“Don’t tell me what to do, motherf- -ker!” he yelled, according to witnesses. “I gotta get to the store! I gotta get to the store!”
Flynn clenched his fists and puffed out his chest before landing the powerful head butt on Lafferty’s face, witnesses said.
Lafferty was taken to St. Luke’s Hospital. Flynn was arrested for assault and released with a desk-appearance ticket.
Most people only dream of head-butting their way through the ubiquitous film sets that have become as loathsome as tube-sock street fairs. [NYPost]

Leave it to the New York Post to turn a 300-pound dude headbutting a kid into a wish-fulfillment story.  “Don’t you wish you could physically assault people half your size for trying to do their thankless job?  He’s a hero!”

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Hope you’ll forgive the non-movie-related diversion on a Saturday, but I just walked by this at the newstand and had to post it.  The NY Post loves their aggressive headlines, but I think “WELCOME TO HELL, FIENDS!!” is a new high-water mark.  Sadly, using the postcard theme meant they had to cut the last part of the headline, which was “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

The NY Post is so metal.

This whole story sounds phoney and the source is the NY Post, but like ma always taught me, that’s no reason not to use it as an excuse to ridicule people.  The rumor is that Sienna “Oops here’s my tits” Miller has been forced out of Ridley Scott’s Nottingham because she’s too pretty to stand next to lardass Russell Crowe.

An insider said, “It is a mess. Russell never lost the weight he put on for ‘Body of Evidence’ – and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He’s so old and fat and she’s so young and gorgeous. It’s just . . . gross.”

Wait, a Hollywood movie starring a hot chick opposite a lumpy schlub?  Gasp! We can’t have that!  That’s never been done!

Word in Hollywood is that producers are “looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so [Crowe] doesn’t look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s.”

The Oscar-winner has demanded serious script rewrites. “Originally the movie was about a love triangle between Maid Marian, Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham,” our tipster said. “It is now all about Russell’s Robin Hood. Literally, 40 pages of script were redone and now are just devoted to him and his massive ego. It’s amazing.”

Despite studio denials, we hear Crowe is trying to get director Ridley Scott fired. Calls were made to several prominent directors over the holidays to find a replacement. “All of this was done behind Ridley’s back,” the insider said. “He has no idea.” [Post]

Hmm, Russell Crowe is trying to get Ridley Scott fired?  Would that be the same Ridley Scott that directed him in Gladiator, Body of Lies, American Gangster, and A Good Year?  And since Crowe was supposed to play the Sheriff and Robin Hood, re-writing the script to focus on Robin wouldn’t really give him more camera time, now would it?  Poor post.  I know how long a good photoshop job and hilarious headline pun takes, so I can understand why they would just make stuff up.  Plus, Russell Crowe is kind of fat, so screw him.  He doesn’t have the body to pull off a svelte medieval Englishman like say, Henry VIII.  I mean, you shoulda seen the washboard abs on that f-cker.  Damn, son.

I’ve bagged on the mainstream media a lot today, but credit where credit’s due, “ACTOR WAS JOAQUIN UNSTEADILY” is a solid headline.  Kudos, NY Post.  You truly are the juvenile blog of major newspapers.

Oh, and the accompanying story was basically that people said he’s been drinking a lot lately and was wasted the night he announced his retirement from acting.  Gosh, I never would’ve guessed that from the video.  He seemed so lucid, so chipper, so… undisheveled.