BOX OFFICE: BANGKOK IRRELEVANT

09.08.08 Written by RoboPanda

 
This was a record-setting weekend at the box office, reports Eonline:
Hollywood slogged through its worst weekend of the year, per studio estimates compiled today by Exhibitor Relations. The weekend was distinguished, if not defined, by Bangkok Dangerous, the new Nicolas Cage action movie, which finished first with the lowest gross for a No. 1 movie in five years ($7.8 million).
 
It probably didn’t help that Nic Cage couldn’t tell the two directors of Bangkok Dangerous apart.  And the ending may have ensured no positive word-of-mouth (click here for a huge spoiler).
 
At least it’ll help Nic Cage pay off those back taxes
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THE LONG-AWAITED SEQUEL TO GHOST RIDER

09.04.08 Written by Vince Mancini

The Dark Knight and Iron Man took the superhero movie to new heights this summer, but let’s not forget about the greatest superhero of all time: Nic Cage and his CGI head returning demons to hell on his motorcycle. MTV recently spoke with Cage and about the sequel literally everyone’s been waiting for.

In an interview with MTV News, Cage — who has been garnering much press with the recent announcement that he’d be joining the cast of “Kick-Ass” – talked about “Ghost Rider 2,” and if you’re to believe him, the film is most certainly going to happen — and it’ll have some help from a higher power. “There have been talks and good ones with where to go with the character,” explained Cage. “It looks like it will take place in Europe and the character will work with the [Catholic] Church. It’ll be a completely new experience. It’s exciting.”

One thing they neglected to ask was whether there will be flames on the motorcycle, but come on, you know there’s gonna be f*ckin flames on the motorcycle.

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BAD LIEUTENANT KEEPS GETTING BETTER

07.03.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Jeffrey Dahmer and victim

Werner Herzog’s remake of Bad Lieutenant (which he insists isn’t a remake for some reason) picked up two new cast members: Val Kilmer and Xzibit.  Eva Mendes plays the love interest, and Fairuza Balk is also in it, presumably playing someone ugly and weird.

The original followed the depraved adventures of a corrupt policeman (Harvey Keitel) investigating the rape of a nun. The new film will feature Cage as the titular crooked cop and capture the spirit of the original, with the protagonist’s drug intake, accepting sexual favors as bribes and other elements that endeared so many to the 1992 version. [HollywoodReporter]

I. Cannot. Wait. For this movie.  Nic Cage trying to out-act Harvey Keitel as a hardass cop?  Val Kilmer in the Nolte of his career?  Both teamed with the guy from Pimp My Ride and the chick who always plays a witch or a Nazi?  Hot damn, this is like when I used put bees in a jar and shake them all up until they stung each other, only one of the bees is NIC CAGE.  This movie is going to punch the bear so hard.     

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NIC CAGE F’N HATES WATER BOTTLES

06.30.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Nic Cage and his big shiny forehead are back in this band new clip from Bangkok Dangerous. While it’s not quite as good as the last clip, in which Nic Cage is wearing a hat, and then all of a sudden he’s not wearing a hat but he’s chopping off some guy’s arm with a boat propeller, it is… uh… red. Actually, it most reminds me of the scene in Naked Gun where Frank Drebin and a bad guy are shooting at each other on a rooftop but they’re only a couple feet away from each other. Nic Cage is kind of like a real-life Frank Drebin, in that he’s the only one who doesn’t realize he’s in a spoof movie.  Unless he does realize it but wants people to think he doesn’t.  Maybe his forehead is so big because he’s a cartoon super villain.

[Thanks to Robo for the tip, slightly better quality clip available here

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I THINK I JUST CAME

06.17.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Elephants are movie cliche for \

WATCH THE NEW CLIP FROM BANGKOK DANGEROUS AFTER THE JUMP

What do you get when you combine Nic Cage in full cheeseball mode, Thai speedboats, editing that thumbs its nose at continuity, and slow motion explosions?  Besides an erection, you get this new crip from Bangkok Dangerous. Haha, did I say "crip"?  Obviously I meant "clip".  What? It was an innocent mistake. 

*jumps out window into an awaiting speedboat*

EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee….. 

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