"Don't you eyeball f*ck me, motherf*cker, I will cut you the f*ck up cuz I ain't afraid to go back to prison. I'll f*ck you till you love me, fagg*t. Yo, Grizz, hold my pearls."

Before we get started, I know what you’re thinking: Thank God! Another contemporary Jane Austen adaptation! Between Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Pride and Predator, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, a Latin adaptation of Sense and Sensibility, and a Mormon movie about Jane Austen LARPing, it’s like we’ve barely scratched the surface. WILL THE KITSCH VALUE EVER DECLINE? PLEASE, TELL ME MORE ABOUT VICTORIAN SOCIAL MORES!

Now that I’ve sufficiently whetted your appetite, today’s news is that Nora Ephron (Julie & Julia, You’ve Got Mail) is set to adapt Lost in Austen. Which is, GET THIS: a modern take on Pride and Prejudice (adapted from a 2008 British miniseries).

…about a modern-day Jane Austen fan who finds herself dropped into the middle of the events of Pride & Prejudice. The original Lost in Austen series saw London woman Amanda Price (Jemima Rooper) switching places with Pride & Prejudice heroine Elizabeth Bennett (Gemma Arterton) via a magic portal in Amanda’s 21st century bathroom. Amanda attempts to ensure that events unfold as they did in Austen’s novel, but finds herself falling for the handsome Mr. Darcy (Elliot Cowan). The present-day setting will be moved to New York City for Ephron’s adaptation. No cast is attached at this time. [SlashFilm]

Wow, a “Gemma” AND a “Jemima” in the cast? Benedict Cumberbatch may have to repowder his wig. Anyway, this premise doesn’t sound at all like Austenland, the novel being adapted by Jerusha Hess and produced by Stephenie Meyer:

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Julie and Julia is director Nora Ephron’s (Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, Bewitched *shudder*) simultaneous adaptation of two books, Julia Child’s autobiography, My Life in France, and a memoir by Julie Powell called Julie and Julia, adapted from her blog about cooking each one of Julia Child’s 524 recipes in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. It will tell Powell’s (played by Amy Adams) story in parallel to Child’s, and it’s sure to be a crowd pleaser, what with Meryl Streep doing that annoying gd voice the entire movie.  Oh hey would you look at that, I’m spotting.

[via Cinematical]