No Country for Old Men was one of the big winners at last night’s excitement and wonder-filled SAG Awards, taking home cast honors and a supporting actor trophy for Javier Bardem.

Two weeks after the glam-free Golden Globes "news conference," the presence Sunday night of blue-chip Hollywood stars such as presenter Tom Cruise, a pregnant Cate Blanchett, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (in a flowing, is-she-or-isn’t-she dress that did little to quell twins rumors*) reminded that the SAGs may stand as the highlight of Hollywood’s film-honors season — if the writers strike undermines the Oscars, that is.

But the SAG show itself was generally free of labor talk, with only [Actress Julie] Christie addressing the matter openly among the winners.  "It’s lovely to receive an award from your own union," she said, "especially at a time when we’re being so forcefully reminded how important unions are." [via Yahoo]

God only knows what horrors they’d face without a union.  I shudder when I think of Christian Bale forced to work long, shirtless hours in the spark factory, and then I get an erection.  But not in a gay way, more in a professional respect for a handsome man sort of way; a heteroection, really.  GRR, FOOTBALL.  (Full list of winners after the jump)   

*That Angelina Jolie has lovely twins (NWS) has never been disputed, to my knowledge.

Via Yahoo/AP – commentary in [brackets]. 

Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood."  [Shocker, I know.]

Actress: Julie Christie, "Away From Her." [I don’t know who this person or what this movie is, and I write a movie blog for a living.]

Supporting actor: Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men." [Sort of a no-brainer again, but it’s hard to believe Phillip Semen Hoffmore wasn’t even nominated for Charlie Wilson’s War]

Supporting actress: Ruby Dee, "American Gangster." [I had to check Wikipedia to see if she was any relation to Billy Dee Williams.  She’s not, but it does say she was in an “open marriage” to Ossie Davis, which is kind of sweet.  But not if you picture it, because she’s really old.]

Cast: "No Country for Old Men." [No arguments here]

Stunt ensemble: "The Bourne Ultimatum." [They should come up with a word for “ensemble” that’s not French and gay sounding]

___

Television:

Actor in a movie or miniseries: Kevin Kline, "As You Like It." [His middle name is Keith and he hates minorities]

Actress in a movie or miniseries: Queen Latifah, "Life Support." [The statuettes are kinda small so they just abbreviated it “Queefah” on her trophy.]

Actor in a drama series: James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos." [Sure, why not]

Actress in a drama series: Edie Falco, "The Sopranos." [They used to call her “Speedy Falco” in high school.  She was a slut. BONG.]

Actor in a comedy series: Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock."  [Something something Rude Little Pig something something]

Actress in a comedy series: Tina Fey, "30 Rock." [I like her.  There, I said it.  She doesn’t look like a Tina though.  Little known fact: her daughter, Alice Zenobia Richmond, was originally named Xenophobia Richmond.]

Drama series cast: "The Sopranos." [How’s TV going to seem relevant now that this is off the air?  Discuss.]

Comedy series cast: "The Office." [Does the alcoholic redhead chick turn anyone else on?  Just me then?]

Stunt ensemble: "24." [That would explain everything]
___

Lifetime Achievement: Charles Durning [Linking this to his picture or IMDB page so you know who he is would probably cheapen his achievements, wouldn’t it?]

The new Rolling Stone came out this week, with Peter Travers’ list of the 10 best movies of 2007 (one of many 10 best lists).  His list:

1. No Country For Old Men
2. Atonement
3. Into the Wild
4. Eastern Promises
5. Sweeney Todd
6. American Gangster
7. There Will Be Blood
8. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
9. I’m Not There
10. tie between Knocked Up and Juno

I haven’t seen all of these and some of them aren’t out yet, but a couple things jump out. Like, why isn’t Gone, Baby, Gone on anyone’s best of ’07 list? Yeah, it was an Affleck project; it was also better than the movie that won him an Oscar and at least deserving of a spot in the top ten. Knocked Up and Juno also deserve their own spots, and what about Superbad?  Even when it wasn’t hitting on all cylinders it still had that Tommy Boy-esque likability factor that most comedies these days are missing.  And Eastern Promises, really? Seems to be on everyone’s best of list, but I don’t get it. I like Cronenberg, but this ain’t his best movie. One of the few scenes with action (the naked fight scene) was laughably bad. I’m not saying every movie has to be Jackie Chan, but I would like to get the sense of how something could actually happen rather than just a montage of grunting and Viggo’s balls flopping around.

One thing we can agree on: Travers’ "Michael Bay Award For Worst Soul-Sucking, Dumb-Ass Bottom Feeder" that he gives to Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Amen. I actually forgot that came out in ’07 – I think I repressed it like the time I got molested.

Everybody knows that Thanksgiving isn’t just about eating turkey to celebrate our founding fathers giving the indians smallpox and meeting your uncle’s new wife, there are new movies out! A round of gravy shots for everybody!

Opening tomorrow in wide release

Enchanted – Disney flick about a Cinderella landing in modern Manhattan.  Starring McDreamy and that fruitcake who played Cyclops.  I don’t plan on seeing it, but it looks like a good place to pick up chicks.  

The Mist – Frank Darabont directs a Steven King flick starring Thomas Jane.   They couldn’t even make it through the trailer without killing off the black guy this time.  The Mist?  More like The Missed! ZING! 

Hitman – Timothy Olyphant stars in a movie where the title really says it all.  Trailer looks interesting to me, and the poster has lots of sideboob.  However, early reviews have been… less than stellar.   

No Country for Old Men – Coens’ McCarthy adaptation finally gets a wide release.  Guy killing people with an air gun?  Yes, please. 

August Rush – (fart noise) 

This Christmas – I’m confused. A movie with an all-black cast and no Tyler Perry? What the hell’s going on here?  It’s from Screen Gems, so I’m assuming time travel or zombie vampires will somehow be involved. 

The new movies out this past weekend (notably Fred Claus and Lions for Lambs) didn’t make a huge dent in the box office, with Bee Movie taking the top spot, American Gangster dropping to second, and Fred Claus opening a disappointing third, with $19.2 million.  Scientists suspect a causal relationship between the movies’ poor showings and fact that they sucked balls.  

I don’t always post the weekend box office numbers because, hey, I’m not a business blogger.  But today’s numbers were slightly encouraging, when viewed through the lens of a certain cynical optimism.  Even with $19 million, Fred Claus is well on its way to proving itself a disappointment as well as an embarrassment, and meanwhile, No Country for Old Men was kicking ass in limited release, making $1.2 million on 28 screens for a $42,929 average.

Still, between Jessica Simpson legally blondifying the armed forces on Veterans Day and Ludacris playing an elf, I’ve never viewed an impending Bill O’Reilly boycott with such hope before.  [ComingSoon and Variety]

Opening this Weekend

Fred Claus – From Wedding Crashers Director David Dobkin, starring Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, and an Elf version of Ludacris, comes a film that will tarnish the reputation of everyone involved. No I haven’t seen it, but I don’t trust a movie with fighting elves in the preview to be good, just like I don’t trust a guy wearing Crocs to give me a haircut.  You use a person’s past history of decision making as a guide to what their future decisions might be like.*  No charge for that there life lesson, sonny boy.

Lions for Lambs – Robert Redford’s political thriller with Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep.  Taking an absolute beating in the early reviews.  In fact, it’s only 1% fresher than Fred Claus on RottenTomatoes (26% to 25%). Pass.  Tom Cruise blames the alien spirits in Meryl Streep’s uterus.

P2 – Watch the trailer if you want, but this movie does not warrant me writing a synopsis.  I think it’s premiering on the Who Gives a Shit channel.

Christmas in Wonderland – Marks the acting debut of Preston Lacy from Jackass.  I would rather gargle pus than watch this movie.  

Conclusion – If you’ve already seen American Gangster and you don’t live in a city where No Country for Old Men is playing… well, you might wanna consider going out and getting some fresh air ya lazy sack a hobo piss. 

^{*Consider also the email I received from a television producer: Initially, I thought it would be great to kind of adapt Filmdrunk into the broadcast world (i.e., your attitude/commentary in almost an Ebert & Roper setting). One of the main selling points being that you’d be free to praise or condemn whatever movies you like. I’ve run the idea by our Legal puds and while we’re (technically) allowed to give opinion, the studios we’re in bed with would no doubt be seriously pissed if we had you on the network telling everyone how big a piece of shit Fred Claus is going to be.}