A friend recently sent over this film clip from Nigeria.  I clicked on it, expecting another charming, low-budget romp in the vein of Chicken Madness.  What I got was legitimately terrifying (save for the charming low-budgetness).  Apparently, in West Africa there’s a crazy lady named Helen Ukpabio who’s very influential, and makes films to convince people of the existence of child witches.  So basically, an African, not-gay version of Kirk Cameron.  Also, there’s this:

Ukpabio has published her views in several books. An example is ‘Unveiling The Mysteries of Witchcraft’, in which she states that, “If a child under the age of two screams in the night, cries and is always feverish with deteriorating health he or she is a servant of Satan.”

A fact not mentioned in the book is that these symptoms are common in young children, especially in areas like Nigeria with poor health and high levels of malaria.

Mala-who?  I dunno, dude, I saw the movie, I’m pretty sure it was witches.
Read the rest of this entry »

(“Come back later, I’m busy having sex with a Nigerian.”)

The Nigerian government is asking its cinema owners not to show District 9, which they say portrays Nigerians in a negative light.

“We feel very bad about this because the film clearly denigrated Nigeria’s image by portraying us as if we are cannibals, we are criminals,” said Information Minister Dora Akunyili.  “The name our former president was clearly spelt out as the head of the criminal gang [The Malawian actor, Eugene Khumbanyiwa, plays a gang leader with the nickname of Obasanjo, also the surname of former Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo.] and our ladies shown like prostitutes sleeping with extra-terrestrial beings.”

But Mr Khumbanyiwa said Nigerians in the cast did not seem worried by the portrayal of their country. He suggested that the film, which depicts people wanting to eat aliens to gain the superhuman powers, should not be taken too literally.  “It’s a story, you know,” he said. “It’s not like Nigerians do eat aliens. Aliens don’t even exist in the first place.” [BBC]

What the reporters don’t tell you is that Khumbanyiwa was pantomiming alien sex and laughing when he said that.  In fact, in Malawi, sex involving an anal probe is commonly known as doing it “Nigerian-style.”  Which Nigerians are none too pleased about.  For perpetuating the stereotype, they say District 9 director Neill Blomkamp is now Nigeria’s public enemy number 2, just behind JuJu, the goat who causes miscarriages.