I wasn’t planning on doing a Daily Circle Jerk today, but this non-movie-related video had tears rolling down my face, and not just because I was chopping onions and listening to Sarah McLachlan. So I had to post it.  I don’t know if it’s the shouting or that Nickelback sucks so bad, but this slays me. Anyway, how long before they get a movie or TV deal? I put the over/under at three months. [Bloomingtonbros via Buzzfeed] –Check that. In research-I-should’ve-done news, they already have a TV deal.

DCJ Links:

• Monopoly movie plot revealed. Spoiler alert: it’s stupid. |Moviefone|
• What your haircut really says about you.  For instance, having dreadlocks when you’re caucasian says “run me over with your car.” |HolyTaco|
• I can’t wait for Twilight: Three Wolf Moon. |CollegeHumor|
• This was the best sketch from SNL this weekend, and it’s actually pretty damned good. |WarmingGlow|
• Surprise, Dane Cook and Tyler Perry voted “most hated actors.” |Asylum|
• Bill Cosby plays Arkham Asylum. |G4|

I’m seriously impressed with this video.  Katherine Heigl? Colin Hanks? Making out?  You better believe it.  I didn’t even know they were on a show together.  Why couldn’t have it been shot inside a volcano?  Throw in some crappy YouTube editing and a song by that guy from Nickelback, and wow, whoever made this, you clearly have a direct line into my subconscious.  It’s so perfectly full of things I hate, and not even the first things that I’d think of, like techno and hipsters, it’s like stuff that I hate that I forgot even existed, like soy smoothies and that cocky asshole Josh.  Anyway, to whoever made this, well done, and may we never hang out.

[Thanks to Burnsy for the tip]

From Dolph Lundgren and the producer of Vampire Trailer Park comes Command Performance, which bills itself as “Die Hard at a Rock Concert.”  Lundgren directs, stars, does his own stunts and drumming, and in the teaser above, delivers the tagline: “Dying is easy, rock n roll is hard.”

He goes on to prove his own thesis in the extended promo video below by sounding like Nickelback’s first day with a wah-wah pedal.  Its poor inventor is probably rolling over in his grave right now.  That inventor being of course Professor Phineas T. Wahwah.

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