Can combining two lame, played-out genres create something new? That’s the basic question behind Warm Bodies (based on the book of the same name), which combines the zombie movie with the unpopular-high-school-kid-in-love movie, in the hopes of earning a DOUBLE KITSCH SCORE. Nicholas Hoult (Beast from X-Men First Class) plays the zombie, Teresa Palmer is his human love interest, and you can watch the first four minutes online below. I guess it makes sense, I mean, what’s a zombie anyway if not a prototypical movie slacker, only with paler skin, discheveleder hair, a slouchier posture, and a dirtier hoody? Anyway, I have to admit, my initial reaction is “GUHHHHHHH…”, but it does come from Jonathan Levine, who last directed 50/50, which was easily one of my top five favorite movies of that year. Maybe this will be good? I wouldn’t put my money on that, but I’d bet my life that the zombies are some kind of metaphor, you guys!

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The X-Men visit a no-touch strip club.

I was as shocked as anyone when X-Men: First Class actually turned out kinda good. But the inevitable sequel is moving forward without original director Matthew Vaughn (original director of the prequel, that is…) , and with an awful title, “Days of Future Past.” But Bryan Singer is on to direct, and though he hasn’t directed anything good since 2003, he at least has it in him, and from the sounds of it, he’s got the cast of X-Men: First Class returning, with the added bonus of Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan. Singer himself broke the news this morning on Twitter.

Thrilled to announce @ianmckellen118 & @sirpatstew are joining the cast of #XMEN #DaysOfFuturePast #magneto #professorX More to come…

— Bryan Singer (@BryanSinger) November 27, 2012

I’d like to officially welcome back James McAvoy, Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, & Nicholas Hoult to #XMEN for #DaysOfFuturePast

— Bryan Singer (@BryanSinger) November 27, 2012

We already sort of assumed the plot would involve time travel from the title; the casting of young and old Professor X and Magneto all but confirms it. At the least, you imagine it will involve a heavy flashback element. Which is a good thing, because at its core, X-Men is really a story about a bromance between a psychic cripple and a tattooed holocaust survivor with a huge dong. Polish up the awards, this thing’s as Oscar baity as The Reader.

"Why didn't you write me? ... BRAAAAAAAAINS..."

God dammit. For the last time, people, zombies are not timely metaphors. They’re not symbols of consumer culture, or overpopulation, or the war on terror, and they sure as hell aren’t the perfect jumping off point for a teen romance. They’re big sacks of movie meat that you can explode without pondering motive or remorse, like Nazis. ZOMBIES ARE TO BE EXPLODED.

Anyway. Summit has released some new stills from Warm Bodies, their zombie romance adapted from Isaac Marion’s book by Jonathan Levine. Wait a second, the guy who directed 50/50? What the shit? It stars Nicholas Hoult (X-Men: First Class), Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four), Rob Corddry (lots of stuff), Dave Franco (James’s brother), Analeigh Tipton (who?) and John Malkovich (awesome). Here’s the book description:

R is a young man with an existential crisis–he is a zombie. He shuffles through an America destroyed by war, social collapse, and the mindless hunger of his undead comrades, but he craves something more than blood and brains. He can speak just a few grunted syllables, but his inner life is deep, full of wonder and longing. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams.
After experiencing a teenage boy’s memories while consuming his brain, R makes an unexpected choice that begins a tense, awkward, and stragely sweet relationship with the victim’s human girlfriend. Julie is a blast of color in the otherwise dreary and gray landscape that surrounds R. His decision to protect her will transform not only R, but his fellow Dead, and perhaps their whole lifeless world.

Yeah, because that’s what I’ve always wanted in my zombie films, more wonder, and longing. I loved 50/50, but it doesn’t bode well that they released three pictures, and they’re all of a hot dude looking zombie-ish. Look, all I’m saying is that at this rate, it’s not going to be long before the goth dudes in high school start wearing blueish lipstick and crazy contacts to guy with the guyliner, and that’s how I’ll know it’s finally time to kill myself.

[ComingSoon]

Matthew Vaughn and 20th Century Fox’s X-Men: First Class opens in just a few weeks (June 4th, to be exact).  New clips from the film, once rumored to be a behind-schedule disaster, are now coming fast and furious (as I’ve been known to myself).  The latest centers on Hank McCoy, aka Beast, played by Nicholas Hoult, who shows off his mutations for the first time, to the instant pantie moistening of Mystique, played by the lovely Jennifer Lawrence.  Oh yeah, baby, you turned on by a man with toes on his feet?  What say we go somewhere more private and I show you the meaning of “prehensile.”

(Click for full size)

With the opening now less than a month away, X-Men: First Class just released a couple of new posters, and it looks like whoever’s recovering heroin-addict nephew they gave this job to hasn’t been fired yet (GRRR, LENS FLARES! POPOUTS! BLURRY BACKGROUNDS! PHOTOSHOP FILTER!). They also released three new character trailers, which thankfully look a lot better than the posters, which is good because I wasn’t looking forward to watching this with my head cocked sideways like a perplexed puppy the whole time (though I’m sure that’d be adorable).

The trailers are for The Banshee (Caleb Landry Jones from Friday Night Lights), Havok (Lucas Til), and Beast (Nicholas Hoult — the kid from About a Boy). They all seem to be various types of puberty metaphors.  Banshee can fly by screaming and making his voice crack, Havok can kill people with his violent hip thrusting (THAT’S MY MOVE!), and when Beast meets a woman, his palms sprout hair and his balls turn blue.   And if that weren’t bad enough, he’ll eventually grow up to be Kelsey Grammer.  In any case, it’s nice to see they focused on these guys and not the lesser-known mutants, like the guy who can morph into a turkey sandwich but not back again, or the one who can see through walls, but only while standing in a puddle of his own urine.

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