My head has been swimming ever since once-lovable, possibly-crazy dude Tracy Morgan said some pretty horrible things about the gays. Is it still possible to be amused by a goofball’s antics once you know that part of his quirkiness extends to hateful, bigoted thoughts?  I don’t know the answer to that. It’s something I’ll have to explore with time. But I do owe a debt of gratitude to Huffington Post for posting My Big Fat Greek Wedding director Nia Vardalos’ response to the controversy.Turns out, she’s against homophobia. And you can tell she believes this is a serious issue, because she uses. A lot. Of Periods. To make. Her point.

There are reports that while some were angry, many people in the audience that evening, laughed.
That offends me. And, worries me. We live in an unsafe world. There are children and adults who go to school and work every day, knowing there are people who feel the same way as Tracy Morgan. They now know there was an audience who did not stand up and walk out when a man talked about stabbing his son if that child revealed himself to be gay. Stabbing. His son.

Offended AND worried. Someone write this down. With pencils. On paper. Possibly pen.

So, that’s it? We get a few statements from the people who work with him, and we all forget about it?
Not this time.
I want more. And, I respectfully request more. Much more.
When does the hate against our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, end?
Sure, a writer or comedian riffing, working out material, often goes to strange and dark places. Editing is discouraged, because part of the journey is surprise and discovery. But what we discovered about Tracy Morgan is deeply disturbing.
He is homophobic.
His employers now know this about him. And, I don’t think he should simply be vilified and shunned. Nor, just apologized for. I am optimistic wonderful Tina Fey and the brilliant writers won’t just reference it on the show in a cute and sweet way, thus dealing with the incident with a wink and a nod. I hope NBC does more than issue a statement.
What I’m yearning for is simple: we’ve discovered Tracy Morgan has a problem, and now he needs help. There must be some result, more than a few apologies. Maybe this is a way to open the dialogue. Maybe sensitivity training. It happened. Let’s address it and learn from it. [Huffington Post]

She wants more than a cheap apology. Dammit, NBC! The Nias Vardalos of the world aren’t going to take this lying down! She wants to see some real consequences. Some real solutions. Like a company-mandated sensitivity training. And maybe if that doesn’t work, we can start a group called “Tracy Morgan should stop being homophobic!” on Facebook.  If it gets a million likes, Gwyneth Paltrow can play a benefit concert.  Thank you, Huffington Post, for publishing this important editorial.

The charisma is palpable!

Yahoo just released the trailer for Larry Crowne, starring Tom Hanks (who also directs) and Julia Roberts in a film written by Hanks and Nia Vardalos, a veritable reunion of America’s sweethearts of the early 2000s.  Hanks plays a middle-aged Navy vet with a bad mortgage who gets laid off from his Wal Mart job because he doesn’t have a college degree (because that always happens). “Sorry, Mr. Crowne, I know you’re a Navy vet with 30 years of experience in our retail store, but we’re going to have to fire you until you prove you can pass pottery class and the local JC. It’s just business.” Anyway, so then he enrolls at the local junior college to turn his life around (sounds like someone’s been watching Community!), and there, he meets a rag-tag group of kooky dillweeds and ends up falling for his speech teacher, Julia Roberts, on account of she’s so sullen and bitchy.

So yeah, basically exactly like Community, but with an older, schlubbier protagonist.  Tom Hanks is great at playing the good-hearted, put-upon Buzz Lightbeer, but wouldn’t his real life story be better than this?  He has a son who’s a rich, white, rhyme-spitting wigger caricature, a wife who’s always hanging out with Nia Vardalos… sounds like the recipe for a mid-life crisis to me.
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In a bizarre reversal on Friday, My Big Fat Greek Wedding “star” Nia Vardalos actually helped prevent a suicide.  “That’s my girl,” said John Corbett while grinning like an idiot and stuffing his face with Applebee’s.

Demi Moore and Nia Vardalos were instrumental in rushing police to the home of an 18-year-old Florida man who had written a message on Twitter saying he had “messed up my life bad” and was “thinking about killing myself.”

The suicidal man wrote a message addressed to Moore’s Twitter account saying he was “about to go hang myself from a tree outside my house and end my life.” “I have no reason to live anymore,” the man wrote, adding “I am going to send a live feed of me hanging myself. No one cares if I die or not.”

Moore wrote the man back asking if he needed help. He responded “yes.” Vardalos, who saw the exchange on Moore’s public Twitter feed, called a suicide prevention center in Los Angeles which contacted the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office. The police officer who arrived at the young man’s home in Casselberry, Florida, around 2:30 am said in his report that he found him “sitting at his computer desk crying.” He was placed in protective custody.  The police officer said the man admitted posting the suicide threats on Twitter and that he “did not know what he would do to himself without help.” [AFP via Yahoo]

Thank goodness Nia Vardalos was just hanging out twitter-stalking Demi Moore, or Lord knows what would’ve happened.  All the more reason to keep her from working. Maybe the guy just reeeally hates Valentine’s Day.

“Hey! Genevieve!  I’m on date four and she’s still pretending I don’t exist!”

“Threaten suicide to Demi Moore on Twitter!”

“Thank you!”

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A while back I posted the trailer for Nia Vardalos’ directorial debut, I Hate Valentine’s Day, which was more than enough to convince me never to see it.  The Onion A/V Club recently had some poor bastard review it, but I think the accompanying picture really does all the work.  She could have pupils shaped like spirals and springs popping out of her head and still look less crazy.

(an artist’s rendition of what Sam Raimi’s version will hopefully look like)

No matter how many times I get drunk and shout it at strangers, Hollywood doesn’t make nearly enough yeti movies.  Thankfully, Sam Raimi (Spider-Man, Army of Darkness) is trying to change that.

The genre maestro has signed on to produce a supernatural horror pic, based on a pitch from up-and-coming British director Corin Hardy [a music video director]. The project has been set up at Mandate, where Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures has a deal.  “Refuge” centers on a remote town terrorized by a Yeti, the mythological creature native to the mountains of the Himalayas. Hardy will direct from a script by fellow British writer Tom De Ville.

Jason Blum, Nathan Kahane and Steven Schneider will produce. Meanwhile, Blum’s Blumhouse Prods. will finance a short film with the same premise as the “Refuge” feature. The idea is to offer a teaser that can help Hardy refine his vision even as the script is being developed. [THR]

A yeti terrorizes a town, you say?  I liked this better when it was called I Hate Valentines Day.

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